My wife is upset?

Question

My wife and I were discussing our fantasies. I didnt want to but she said she promised not to get upset, that it was her fault for asking if i said something she didn't like. So, I told her that I had always thought her 16 year old sister was hot and would love to use her like a little vvhore while my wife watched. Now my wife is totally pi$$ed at me. I didnt even say that I would actually do it, its just a fantasy. Why do women ask questions like this and then get upset when you answer truthfully?

Answer 1

Listen up, dude... the question of: "Tell me your fantasy, I won't get mad" is in the same category as "Do you think I'm fat? Tell me the truth, I won't get mad."

Certainly it's a taboo subject, however, when you communicate with any person you really cannot expect to always tell the truth and still maintain a good relationship with them. It's about lying to be kind. Once again it's not necessarily about "women asking questions like this" and then getting upset at the truth... people in general don't want to know the truth in certain situations.

If my boyfriend were to ask me a question like: "Who was the best lover you ever had?" My answer would be: "You, honey, of course." Any other answer, and I would be rocking the boat. BIG TIME.

Answer 2

She was asking for a fantasy that she and you could SHARE together! She has a right to get pissed that you would want to use her own flesh and blood that way for your own pleasure! You not only insulted your wife, you insulted her family, saying that her little sister was nothing but a whore, and your wife is only worthy to watch you use her. You could have refrained from telling her which girl you wanted to use, and just said "another woman" and it would have been a lot better for you. Think before you say things next time. A little word called "tact." I am HOPING that you are not very old, yourself, like 18 or 19, because any older than that and it is bordering on a REAL problem a lot bigger than your sexual relationship with your wife. Also, your wife probably looks at her sister as a child, and to think that you had thought sexually about a child is VERY repulsive to women. She might be thinking about your future daughter when she is 16. What will you want to do to her? Even if that is not what you would think, that is probably some of what is going through her head.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, you have a point. I have finally learned not to ask questions like that even though sometimes I'm tempted. But also, what were you thinking telling her something like that? Now at every family gathering etc, etc, etc. She's gonna be wondering about you thinking about her little sister. Which also, by the way is sick, especially if you are older and have children of your own or ever will. Maybe you have a little mean streak in you.

Answer 4

Wow, you really screwed up, bro. When your wife asks that kind of fantasies you have, she is really asking to hear about your fantasies that involve her. She may tell you it can be anything and she wont be mad, but she wants to hear flowery, girly things about how much you need her sexually. This is completely normal for the female ego, but you need to be careful on how you answer.

Now to fix this other thing, you have to say you made all that **** up to push her buttons and to see if she was being honest about whether she would be mad, or whether she was playing head games with you(which she was, but you arent supposed to know that). You need to be "angry" over her dishonesty for a couple of days so you both have something to apologize for. And dont even look at the sister for at least a year.

Answer 5

Family member thing is a possible explanation. but women always ask loaded questions like this. As a man, your doomed. I always side stepped the questions like- "Do I look fat in this?" by saying something like "I wouldn't say you looked fat in those pants but they are not as flattering to your figure, in my opinion, as those other ones." If your newly married, get used to dancing verbally or find a good divorce attorney. I have come to believe that when a woman asks any question of their spouse with the word truth or truthfully in it, they don't really want the truth, they want positive affirmation of themselves. Ultimately your wife is hurt because your fantasies do not involve her, the one you've professed an undying love for.

Answer 6

You should not have told her anything that involved a family memeber or one of her close friends. Women don't like to hear that stuff. My husband asks me all the time what my #1 fantasy is but I have yet to tell him....I always tell him fantasies are best left in fantasyland. I don't want to hear his either because if they don't involve me then I probably would be upset or hurt; I know that I shouldn't be but that is just how I am.

Answer 7

She was probably testing you. She wants to know what your thinking. You should of just told her what she wanted to hear, and dont mention another woman/man. Just add her in your fantasy and only her, maybe you should of said you pictured her dressed up as a young 16yr old. Shes not gonna trust you now, especially if you mentioned her young sister, shes gonna think you look at every young girl.

A woman is always right even when shes wrong, so always agree with her if you wanna stay in her good books.

Answer 8

She shouldn't have asked...you shouldn't have fallen into that trap though! I don't think there's anything wrong with having that fantasy, since it's a fantasy and not something you're going to act on. The fact that it's so inappropriate is probably what appeals to you about it. But the fact that it's so inappropriate means that you should have kept it to yourself. I don't know what you should do now...maybe think up something even more disgusting to get her mind off you and her sister...maybe something with dogs and the '49ers?

Answer 9

I can understand a threesome, but the fact that you think about using her 16-yr-old sister as your whore while your wife watched? I'd get a divorce. There are some things, no matter how much a woman might say she won't get upset over, she will. Things like that you keep to yourself. FOREVER. It doesn't matter that you won't do it (no s h i t you won't!) the fact that you think about is sick. She's 16, that's not even legal. How old are you?

Answer 10

i have no idea i mean u just answered her question and it was an honest answer...if she couldnt take it she should have never asked. but she probably got mad about the whole fantasy with her sister whilw she is watching...maybe she wouldnt have gotten so upset if it was a fantasy about a superstar or about a beautiful lady u dreamed or imagined as the perfect female along with ur fantasy.