child custody?

Question

I left my husband almost 3yrs ago. i was pregnant at the time. he knew i was. my question is if he has failed to try to see this child, failed to call and see how the child is and has not tried to pay child support could he get partial custody if i go for a divorce. i am not interested in child support from him. i just want to be divorced. we were only married 1 and 1/2 mos before i left. i am just worried that he will get partial custody he has custody of his one daughter and he doesnt really care for her like she should be she is a special needs child. he knows my address and knows how to get to it and phone number along with my email address. if the longer he goes without contact or finacial help will he be less likely to get visitation and/or partial custody? i really dont want him having anything to do with MY child. I say MY child since he has not tried to help at all or anything.

I dont see how they could give him any rights when he has not tried at all in 2yrs now. I dont plan on getting a divorce anytime soon just wondering when i am ready. i dont have the income to go meet with an attorney.

he has already said if i go for a divorce he will fight me tooth and nail and will fight for custody. i have reasons to why i dont want my child to know him or to visit him. he doesnt pay attention to the child he already has which she is partially blind austistic and mentally retarted she needs to be watched and while i was with him he would let her be alone in the house for hours while he was outside, now this is a girl that will drink anything she thinks is in a container be it milk or bleach. i dont think i want my child around him if he is like that with the child he already has. i cant LEGALLY prove what i have said other than what i saw with my own eyes. when she gets older that will be up to her if my child wants to find him, and i will tell my child i did it out of love and safety for them. i am just hopeing that if i want like 5 more years or so that if he still hasnt done anything they wont give him rights to a child he basically abandoned. not worried about getting married

i also dont think i am going to cause emotional scarring on my child. my child is surrounded with love from an extended family. i know many of children and adults who didnt know their fathers and it didnt scar them. i think it would scar my child more to be with him than to not know him. i am not being a bitter ex i was only with the man a total 4 mos including time before getting married. so not enough time to get bitter over stuff. just could see how he was treating his daughter and my son.

Answer 1

He sounds like a very bad man,how can you stay married to someone like that,anyway the fact that he hasent seen or contributed anything to the marrage or your child is desertion,this will have a big impact on the judge.he has to support his child or go to jail,thats the law.His threat to fight tooth and nail is a scam,no judge would give him custody with his record of effection for his wife and child.He's never seen his child,You know he may have gotten a divorce from you and you don't know it.and he uses this to keep from paying child support.there are legal aid for women in your situation,look it up and call them and tell them your story.I hate dead beat dads,there low and thats the way a judge feels too.I paid my child support until my children were 18 and am proud that they can say there dad isn't a dead beat dad and i have a good healthy relationship with my children and grand children.plus i have rased the youngest by myself,she just fenished nursing school and is ingaged to be married in Oct.and i will walk her down the isle.by the way,these weddings break me up ,i have 3 daughters,just because there parents couldn't get along doesn't change a thing,18 years of marrage and there mother runs off with a older man thinking she would get rich,God doesn't work that way.That wasn't my childrens fault,thank god she left 6 years ago.I filed for divorce as soon as i could get to a lawyers office.you know they let you make payments in most cases,but don't worry he doesn't have a leg to stand on.I hope this strenthings you and takes away the fear...Marshall a loving father.

Answer 2

Dear Lisa,

Thanks for the question, there are a great deal of women in this situation. I have to start by telling you something you may not like, but the court will remind you: It is NOT just your child. The child has rights, too. He may be the husband from hell, but you have a child together. Unless there is a reason to believe otherwise, it's his. More importantly, it's your childs father. If you keep your child from having a relationship with his/her father, you will pay for it in the end. Not to mention the emotional scarring you cannot undue to your flesh and blood.

When child support is ordered, it's not a choice, but the law. It's for the child's living expenses. You will be ordered to pay a certain amount for your child, but if you have custody, you are supposed to use that amount toward the support of the child. Naturally, it's never really enough to give your child everything you want, but it's something. The fact that your husband has been absent for so long will be good for you, if you ask for sole custody. I doubt he will put up a fight, but he will be ordered to pay support nevertheless.

You can ask the court to have him pay it directly to the court. The court will send you a check. If and when he gets in arrears [which you don't care anyway], you won't have to deal with him, the court will. Yeah! That's a win-win deal for you,

The whole idea is to end your marriage to free you up for another chance at a better life for yourself and your beautiful child. At the same time, that child will one day ask about "Daddy". You don't want to be the one who kept that child from him. Be the better parent and love your child unconditionally. That's what it's all about, right?

Have a wonderful life and be thankful each day your child is in your life.

Best to you,
Raylene♥

Answer 3

I believed the judge will also look into other factors as well like which parent can provide the best living conditions for the child, parenting care & financial support. It doesn't help the child 1 bit if the parent is struggling to make ends meet. Just a thought.

Answer 4

There is not any such factor as a navy divorce. All divorces are civil concerns. Having mentioned that, the volume of baby help is headquartered on sales. If there's a court docket order in location that states how so much baby help he must pay, then that is what he demands to pay. The handiest method he would petition the courts to curb the volume is that if his instances converted and he all of the sudden began making drastically much less cash. As for sending extra money at any time when his ex asks for it, he isn't obligated to try this and he's actually a idiot to take action.

Answer 5

Divorce law is different everywhere, you need to talk to a lawyer. This isn't the right place for this kind of question. Just my opinion, It does not seem like he would have any say in the rights of the child, and it's possible also for you to get his parental rights terminated.

Answer 6

I suggest you contact your local Legal Aid Society... consult with them what you explained here... they will help you with your divorce and custody and fight for you for free, since you can't afford it...

I would think that would be enough for a judge to know this guy wants nothing to do with the daughter.

I hope for the best for you...

Answer 7

In the eyes of a judge, actions speak louder than words. If he keeps neglecting his responsibilities, a judge will not give him anything but a payment plan.

Answer 8

They are always going to look at what is best for the child...if he has a steady job, a place to live, and a good support system from his family, then I would be nervous....