rethinking friendships?

Question

ok i need sum adivce on some friendships. ok friend 1 ive know for about 10 1/2 years. shes the same age & sometimes shes fun 2hang out with, but majority of the time she acts so childish. she acts like a b** (and ive told her this) & she gets really mean & thinks she has done nothing wrong. and i basically have to apologize cuz every1 else is always wrong. she never wants to have real conversations. its always about her 2 day bf's and stuff. she limits herself and i dont know how to break that barrier or if i should give up the friendship.

friend 2 is always busy w/her gf. yea shes gay get over it please. shes an awesome person. but shes always busy with her. they are always hanging out. and always w/friends and she never has time for me much anymore. and it makes me sad cuz im usually there when she needs someone. i try anyway. i just miss the friendship we use to have....

what should i do..?

i know ive made it seem like i think im the perfect friend. i dont think that at all.

Answer 1

Well for friend 1, you need to ask yourself, do you enjoy being with her? Does she make you happy, sad, disgusted, excited? Does being around her fill you with energy or drain you? Don't hang with her just cause you've been friends since childhood. People change; make sure that youre both still compatible.

For friend 2, dont worry about her. If her girlfriend is new, then they might be in the "honeymoon" stage, and not be very perceptive of what's going on around them... if thats the case, just give her time. If she's as good a friend as you say she is, then you'll both be thick as thieves again in no time

Also, make some new friends. One should always be on the lookout for new friends. Most humans are very social creatures. Reach out and say hello to someone... it doesn't matter who. The most unlikely person can end up being a lifetime buddy.

Just think about it ^_^

Answer 2

This I one rule that I live by and have found it to be a good one, maybe you can learn something from it too..

Friendships That Have Passed Their Expiry Date -
it was fun while it lasted but sometimes they're just not meant to be forever. If you find your'e meeting up out of obligation or don't feel the friend is meeting you halfway e.g. you are putting in all the effort then it's probably time to draw the curtain on the friendship!

I have done this to a few people, and some people may think you are being a ***** for doing so, but in the long run you will be happier... some friends juat aren't worth the effort and I'd rather have 1 really good friend that is willing to meet you halfway and not expect you to do everything for them without being there for you too, rather than have 50 mediocore friend.. I rather keep these people as an aquantence level..

Good Luck with what you decide to do either way :)

Answer 3

You've outgrown the friendship with Friend 1. You got older, she stayed the same and she's not going to change. She's a taker and friendships need a balance of give and take, not just one person taking all the time. That's just emotionally draining. Ditch her. As for Friend 2, she's guilty of forgetting she has friends b/c she has a girlfriend. Many chicks are guilty of this, but it can be remedied. She's losing her identity as one person and becoming a "couple" (think Brangelina, I mean, what IS that? Like, can you cut the cord???)Talk to her and tell her that you feel like your friendship is on the back burner and that you don't feel like you're hanging out enough anymore. If she's willing, the two of you should be able to figure out a way to have more time for your friendship, maybe set up a weekly time to meet for dinner or mani/pedi's,etc.? Hope that makes sense :)

Answer 4

I had a different problem with a friend of mine, but it sounds like I went through some of the same feelings you are having right now.

We were friends for about 15 years and had a falling out. My mother was shocked when she heard. "You and she were always such good friends!" my mother said. "No, I was always a good friend. She was crap," was my response.

We've started to reconcile, and things will never be the same.

However, I've had other friendships that have gone through ups and downs. People go through life growing and changing. Sometimes that means you'll be closer to some friends and not as close with others.

Maybe you need a little time away from this friend and use that time to be with other friends. If you're such great friends, your friendship will survive a little time spent with other people.

I hope you find my advice to be of some help.

Answer 5

well the first one i think shell never change shes arrogant and narrow minded so wether you like it or not you gotta tell her what i just told you and see what she says and take it from there. I dont think you have a lot of future with that 10 1/2 friendship she's never going to change. Remember the saying "some people never change" i think she might have some issues of herself. about the lesbian friend well maybe you should try hanging out with her call her up and go out try at least 3 times and if by the third time she tells you she wanted to see her gf well then .. talk to her how you feel that you feel shes never available for you however you are available for her ... if she thinks you are just jealous than move on ... sooner or later shes going to get bored of her gf and hopefully she might not lose you ... i think you should go out and hang out with some other ppl meet ppl ... and go out!!!! ... MOVE ON!

Answer 6

it seems like u need a bf or more friends to occupy ur time with..

that's only natural to feel lonely when there out w/their other half but space is good..

u should take this opportunity to do things for u, make more friends, and meet guys..

be patient because there is no such thing as the perfect friend.. friendship means being there through thick and thin, what kind of friend would u be if u stopped being there friend cause ur the only w/out a bf...

Answer 7

Sounds like your friend #1 is self centered and only cares about herself. To her she is the most interesting/important person in the world. Friend 2 is in a relationship so you could be the 3rd wheel here. It is only natural for friend 2 to spend more time with her friend rahter than you since they are in a "relationship" Of course when she needs someone to talk to, you are the next closest friend she has. It's may not be ideal for you but that's how it is.

Answer 8

Just stop hanging out and being close to the one that is driving you mad! You don't have to cut her off completely but if you can't stand her its not real fair to her or you! As for you other friend, just let her have her time. People need breaks from each other every so often. It is not uncommon to stop hanging out for a few months and then start hanging back out again! Still talk on the phone though. I have went 4 months with out hanging out with my best friend but that didn't mean I didn't like them anymore. We just have separate lives.

Answer 9

I've been in a very similar situation, and it's a tough call. People grow and change all the time, and though it may break your heart it's sometimes best just to let go. That's what I'm having to do with the girl I thought was my best friend. It really hurts, but sometimes we have to do it in order to save our own emotions from being shattered. Good luck and email me if you ever wanna talk :)

Answer 10

its apparent that you are a good friend to both. all i can say is that part of being a true friend, accepting the good with the bad. just continue to do what you do with these friends of yours.
but, i would also find new friends that you have current interests in common with. as time passes, you will notice that unfortunately what one friend use to be able to provide many now do.
example; i have one friend that i have fun with; one that i am the sound board for; another that is my sound board.
in highschool one friend was all of that.. she is no longer in my life. sometimes we just grow apart. hang in there it will all work out.