ihave a 14 yearold daugther that whenshe is bad and we goto punsh her she tells that we can take her stuff?

Question

she tells us that we can not cause we did not buy them even the ph cause her aunt pays for it how canwe handle this and cause a fight withthe family

Answer 1

If you want to punish her by taking away stuff then take it. Letting her control how she is punished kind of defeats the purpose

Answer 2

Sounds like you need to talk with the aunt because the stuff really isn't yours to take. Maybe the aunt could be in on the punishment. That or create another punishment, like earlier curfew, no phone/computer time, something like that. Think beyond materialistic punishments. Maybe it means she can't go out with friends for a few weekends or something. And beating a child is never an answer. She'll be much more damaged and broken later in life, and this is coming from someone who knows.

Answer 3

If she wants to play that game then simply tell her alright then don't touch any of my stuff and hand her a bucket and tell her that the toilet and everything else in the house is yours so she can start using the bucket to potty or start making her wash her own clothes and to pay for the use of the washer and soap she has to wash and fold the other dirty laundry. Like I told my sons until you have hair on your chest and are paying my bills you and everything you have is under my control. Since the family isn't the one having to deal with her 24/7 and paying her bills or the ones that gave birth to her it is really none of their business how you handle your own daughter. Once your daughter sees that you cant be intimidated she probably will start acting better too.

Answer 4

Listen to a voice of a fellow 14 year old.... my friend's mother does that to her and it makes her hate her more. So if you don't want your daughter to hate you why don't you take away something else for a month like no going out to hang with friends. Personally not being able to go out with my friends would be a much more punishment them taking my shoes away. Or if she doesn't hang out with people no phone or tv or something. To warn you no matter what you do your going to have some kind of fight so just tune her out.

Answer 5

unfortunately, she's a little right.but don't let her know that. depending on how bad she is being ,let the family know and tell them the situation i am sure they will understand. but if she is outta control i'd take every thing she own and just leave the things she has to have like a bed a dress SOME clothes. everything else would be gone where she can't find it. that'll strighten her up ( i promise )

Answer 6

As long as she lives under your roof you can ground her from anything... as far as accepting gifts from family that is outside the home? you are the parent you can give it back to the aunt and explain that her gifts are becomeing issues inside the home... if she is a responsible aunt she will understan.

At 14 girls can be viscious .. its their hormones at work...
try to put yourself in her shoes before punishments are handed out and make sure in your heart that you are trying to correct an issue rather than 'teach her a lesson'

good luck

Answer 7

First you need to tell the aunt and others in the family that the discipline of your daughter is your responsiblity. Then in form her that as long as she lives in your house and her stuff is in your house that you can and will take her stuff away until she learns how to behave......Most important thou is that you need to stick to what you say, I know people that dole out the punishment thengive in and let the kids off the hook. So now the kids know that they get what they want no matter what..........Hope it helps

Answer 8

Your family should support your decision to take away her things if it is for punishment. after all you are only thinking of her well being, anyway it is your house, your rules, and if she cannot abide by them then there should be consequences. talk to her aunt and tell her what is going on and what you plan to do, if she loves your daughter and wants what is best for her then she will be on your side.

Answer 9

I have to say that I have a 11 year old son and he is the same way, his grandmother gives him a lot and It doesn't really matter to me I am the parent and as long as he lives under my roof, its my rules. Children try to push us over anyway they can, Just remember its YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES!!

Answer 10

....how cares who bought the stuff your the parent your supposed to be the authority in the house hold.....if shes really bad like curses at you and/or kicks you or something really bad just take all her stuff and HER DOOR....my mom did that and it really stopped my sister from being that bad again...shes still bad but not as bad anymore...lol..but yeah try it if it doesn't work get help from pros or something like a therapist for her anger issues or something!!