Is it wrong to want to set "standards" for the next person that I may meet. Should I expect them to bring something to the table financially speaking since I do? Is that shallow?
2006-07-31 15:53:38 · 15 answers · asked by unsirtnty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no.
who told u it was shallow?
2006-07-31 16:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it may be a little bit shallow, how do you know that the person who is financially set like you is going to be a better match than someone who many not make that much money.
i can understand not wanting to hook up with a guy who is only going to bring debt to the table, thats just wrong, but what would be wrong with hooking up with a guy that has a job and at least brings money home to live off of.
love is not always defined by how much money you have
usually relationships like that happen to last for a long time but are seldom happy loving ones as it takes on the characteristics of a business partnership rather than a relationship
2006-07-31 16:10:58 · answer #2 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From looking at some of your other questions I gather that you are a guy and that is why it feels odd for you to be concerned about financial contributions a new partner should have. If the "standards" are important to you, you should definitely not ignore them. Just look for a partner who is a complete person on their own. If you feel you need to explain it to anyone just point out that you want to be with a partner and not carrying the load yourself.
I also think that independent finance, education, motivation, and goals are some of the least "shallow" features to finding a compatible partner.
2006-07-31 16:32:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Standards are a good thing. You won't waste so much time on someone who will only make you unhappy. Money is a little shallow, but only if you reject girls that don't make enough money. We can't all be millionaires! Saying you want someone who works, and can support herself will only mean that you won't be dependent on each other. She'll know that your money was hard earned as was hers. She won't be looking for a man to support her since she knows she can support herself. And chances are, you won't end up with a "gold digger". Keep realistic standards, and it won't be hard to find someone who meets them.
2006-07-31 16:04:17 · answer #4 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not at all, a relationship is 50/50 which means each party should contibute equally in every aspect . you are not asking for anything out of this world. just keep in mind that though i did mention 50/50 sometimes not everyone has the same level of education, therefore not always will be able to contribute the same finances, just as long as they are willing to contribute. its up to you that extend you are willing to accept.
2006-07-31 16:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by Storm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds reasonable to me. You want someone who is stable and in a comfortable place financially. What's wrong with that - As long as you're not looking solely for someone who has money? His financial situation could give you insight into his educational level, his intellectual abilities, and his maturity (he hasn't squandered his income or made silly choices).
2006-07-31 16:01:30 · answer #6 · answered by cldb730 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not shallow. Why work your rump off for someone who has nothing just to come take what you have? I am in same boat, I have done for years and he invests very lil. I am so sick of haveing a man who has no clue to handel me and doe not care what i seek or what wish or desire.
2006-07-31 16:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by fancy_sweet_heart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just depends on how important money is to you. For me, her money isn't very important. I have a good job with benefits and don't really need her to have a lot of money. What I need is someone whom I love and who loves me in return, who makes me laugh and feel good about myself, and who is willing to help me finish raising my children. Money is way down the list.
2006-07-31 16:03:12 · answer #8 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, its called compatability!
You want a reflection of what you are, so that you will have peace when you marry...
Well, it may be that, but, your not going to be happy!! Opposites attract, and likes repel, so, if she is too much like you, you will not be able to stand her, as she will "be" you...
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-07-31 15:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. But what if the man your suppose to be with doesn't? What if he makes more? What if he had the same mentality as you? You'd be up creek without a paddle...
2006-07-31 15:58:00 · answer #10 · answered by ksn_23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you just want some security with your next relationship
2006-07-31 15:57:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋