What is the best way to deal with people who mock me for never being married?

Question

I'll turn 40 this year, and have never been married. Close several times, but then . . . one woman cheated on me, another developed a drug habit, another became verbally and physically abusive.

I've done my best to be a healthy, confident, dateable man . . . but when people treat me like some kind of loser because I don't have a ring on my hand yet, it dredges up all those bad memories, and I become defensive about being single. Some even think that I'm gay because I've never been married, which certainly isn't true.

I really think I am a good catch, but have just had some really lousy luck. What would be the best way for me to respond to people who are insensitive and immature to me about the marriage subject? It wouldn't do any good to give a 3-hour story about all of the women who've wronged me.

Answer 1

No long story is needed Mike. You are very articulate and wise.Just tell them that you have not met the lady whom you love enough to marry, and that you don't want to make the mistakes so many people make and have to deal with divorce.

Good luck to you!You sound like a great guy.

Answer 2

Don't let it bother you. Opinions are like ***holes everyone has one and they all stink. The only one you should worry about is your own.

I'm 30, never married. It's hard to find a good catch. Younger than 23, most women haven't a clue who they are or what they want out of a relation ship. Most are half-way through their first divorce at that time. They either spend the next 3 to 5 years hating men or are snatched up by the next loser to come along with big biceps or a nice car. Usually their next piece of meat is just like the old one.

Wow. Pent up bitterness. Sorry. I just hope someone can change my pessimistic view some day.

Answer 3

I usually advocate non-rude responses to situations. This is one of those situations where I made exceptions. I turned 43 this year. I have never married. The first time or two the question comes up from a particular relative, I try to give them a short but truthful answer such as, “I work too much to get married. If I did, my wife would leave me because I spend more time at work than at home.” When the truth fails to stop the rude questions, I answer with a rude one of my own. “My, Aunt Jo, did you put on 30 or 40 pounds since the last time I saw you?” Amazing how quickly those intensely rude and personal questions disappear.


Will D
Enterprise AL
http://www.notagz.com

Answer 4

Tell them about the money you will save. Seriously. When you get married the whole thing is just a massive money pit. First the wedding, then a house, the car, then the kids. I don't know the figure for raising a child to the age of 18 but I bet it's a $HITLOAD! People can brag about how good life is when they get married but then you wiegh that against the ammount of people who complain about it and I bet you that the complainers outnumber the happy one. If you don't get married ALL your hard-earned cash goes straight to you, and not your freakin' kids school or your wife's latest jewellry fettish.

Come to think of it I hope I never get married.

Answer 5

Tell people that you are not married by choice and that you are still enjoying your single freedom - they say 40 is the new 30! Anyway what ever. Those people are just narrow minded. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we don't intend to get married any time soon. What I say to people is "Marriage is just a piece of parer"...

Good luck to you and just relax :)

Answer 6

Just laugh at them, I presume these are all married people who mock you, secretly most of them wish they had the balls to not get married, but did it anyway because that's what society says is the right thing to do or they were scared in case somebody thought they were gay!

Enjoy the single life, if you're meant to get married, you will and if not, you can still have a whole lot of fun!

Answer 7

Join the club mate, there is nothing wrong with been single. Your happiness is not based on what people think of your situation. It is to do with you been happy about who you are.

Life is too short to worry about what other people think of your stage. They do not put bread on your table, nor pay for your bills. Treasure every moment you got, you wont get it back even when you find miss right.

If you have not find the right women that knows how to accept who you are, then do not worry. Spend time enjoy your life now, women will see how you enjoy your life, and might want to share that. Light might strike when you are not thinking about it. I live you with my moto in life. " Stress for Less"

Good luck.

Answer 8

Wow, a MAN with the "old maid" problem? I thought they never had to suffer, being the eternal bachelor has always been a good thing in alot of todays societies....You need to start hanging out with more guys in your situation, being surrounded by married folks makes it worse. tell them that you are doing America a favor by not contributing to the 50% divorce rate!

Answer 9

punch 'em in the head. j/k just tell them you're still looking for the right women. there's no need to elaborate as to why you've never been married. what do you care about what they think or say about you. and about you having lousy luck in love, don't worry to much. 40 for men is still young. good luck

Answer 10

Tell them you might be scared of marriage..Simply because of all the divorces, which is more now than it ever was.Who would have thought that all of those marriages would have become divorces? You don' t want to be another one.........yet.
Maybe they have pressured you so much that you thought twice about it,,....When ever you get together with all of these friend who want you married, just take a female friend to join you and tell your friends it should not be mentioned in front of a date/friend...OK. Or tell them you just cant hang out with them as much anymore because of the pressure........they'll quit