Rate my poem?

Question

I came up with this poem and turned it into a song because of a break-up with my girlfriend that devistated me.


I want to know the truth in a rose. I want to know the truth inside a well tied bow. I'II cry for you if you blow, but don't expect that I'II show. I might as well cut off my toes and then you'll see the traces of me. Blood stains I'II bleed, underneath my feet lurk feens of creed. The only way to understand the woes of foes is if I pluck the petals off a rose. And with the red into my bed I'II sleep in damp moisture. I bleed in this suffocating house arrest. This is my test. Then I'II rest inside a coffin beneath a rose.
I'II never love you less when you're getting ugly best.
There is no reason for a feast if it can't be blessed. You're going to be chained to your own street with your own leash. And you can't stop suffering, uttering shrill like a beast...

I had to stop there because it gets to explicit & revealing

Answer 1

I think your poem shows pain in a way that is uncomfortable for the reader. This I liked. However, it also shows signs of self harm which I didn't like so much. The important thing is whether you like it. You appear to be trying to get affirmation from others (including your ex.)

Answer 2

How to write a poem

A poem starts with a thought, an idea, or an emotion felt from the heart. Poems can be happy, or sad, deep-thinking or off the wall, humorous, or even maudlin. The choice is up to you and your imagination as to what you will create.

The only other tools you will need is paper and a pencil. You might keep a rhyming dictionary on hand, along with a thesaurus and a regular dictionary to help you out.

Your first step is to write down that idea or thought that you have and want to turn into a poem. Next, we are going to turn that thought into a free verse poem. There are two different types of poems, and they are structured and free verse. One example of a structured poem is a limerick. Free verse is much easier to write as there are no steadfast rules to writing them. Some free verse doesn't even have any rhymes or meters to them. Meter is defined as a rhythm in verses, or a pattern of syllables.


So, now, rewrite your thoughts into lines. Don't worry about spelling or punctuation at this point in time, just change your thoughts to lines. Don't worry about how long or short each line is either. Now is the time to look at your lines and remember that the poem should have a beginning, a middle, and an end, just like a story, a book, and a movie has. You may need to add more information in order to turn your thoughts into a start, a middle, and a finish. Keep in mind that these parts need not be "written in stone", so to speak. The words of a poem are pliable while they are in the creation stages. They are to be molded and changed until you find the exactly right words you need to complete a line or stanza.


Reread your poem several times and listen to the words and to the rhythm of each line. Now is the time to shorten or lengthen each line in order to create a smooth-sounding poem. Even though it is a free verse poem, you can choose to make each line rhyme with the next line if you want to. If you do, you can use the rhyming dictionary to aid you in finding the appropriate words.


Now go back and reread your poem again. Check for proper punctuation as well as for the proper spelling of each word. Think up an appropriate title for your poem. It would be a good idea to set your poem aside for awhile and then return to it later. Then, reread it again with a fresh mind and make any necessary changes.


If you decide to continue writing poetry, it would be a good idea to investigate some books about creating poetry, and to attend some local workshops. Check out the available recources on the Internet as well as what is available at your local public library.

In order to grow as a writer, you've got to be willing to risk it all every time you sit down to write. You've got to be open and brave and curious. Whenever I'm asked, "When did you become a poet?" I'm always tempted to ask, "When did you stop?" When did you stop taking risks?

We're all born poets. We all enjoy the sounds of language. Every new parent knows that. We're all born with the need to "sound our barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world" as Whitman would have it.

Poetry is a natural part of our lives. It's not just something we have to memorize and recite in front of the class. Losing ourselves in a poem is one of the best ways of finding out who we are. The act of writing brings us to that point of discovery, of discovering on the page something we didn't know we knew until we wrote it.

Don't let reality cloud your imagination. Look up at the sky and find once again those long-tailed dragons and sailing ships. Wake up to the world as though you are seeing it each day for the first time. Find the wonder. Question the way things are. Imagine new choices. Write from the child in you.

Style isn't how you write. It's how you do not write like anyone else. You don't need a degree to be a writer. It doesn't take teachers or textbooks to show you how to write. One learns how to write by writing. There is no other way.

A Poem Is A Little Path

A poem is a little path
That leads you through the trees.
It takes you to the cliffs and shores,
To anywhere you please.

Follow it and trust your way
With mind and heart as one,
And when the journey's over,
You'll find you've just begun.

From The 20th Century Children's Poetry Treasury,
Knopf, 1999, copyright by Charles Ghigna.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

I like it!
Esp. this line: The only way to understand the woes of foes is if I pluck the petals off a rose.

Nice rhyming.

It sounds very well thought out. I'd love to hear the rest of it.... :(

Really, every line sounds cool. Do you have a fictionpress account? Cause if you do, I would add this as a fav. :)

Answer 4

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/zNG6L

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 5

Good.9 marks out of 10.Read words worth for improvement.

Answer 6

I rate your poem with 0 it is a guilt peddler no wonder she left your your too dark and climb on her.

Answer 7

You read poems.
You are a romantic.
Listen get original , you are plagerising.
Get over her,if you can?
Look what happened to Romeo(silly man).

Answer 8

Cool. Writing is the best excorcist of feelings, you can look at them and bad or good, they are out. Use it to your advantage. You are not the first to lose a loved one and you won't be the last, it's just life and it 'aint easy!

Answer 9

poetic words, I like the I'll sleep in damp moisture line but the meaning of the poem is beyond common sense.

Answer 10

I think if you try stalking your ex, you may be more successful than this poem stuff. Also, try drinking, it may help you in dealing with your feelings.