To all the ultra-conservative Christians... Why?

Question

I love my girlfriend. She loves me. We are soulmates... we know we're going to be together for the rest of our lives. Why, then, should we have to wait to be married to have sex, if we both know that we're going to be each others' for life? My point is, why does the title of marriage matter in today's age?
Isupport fidelity, by all means. Me and her are only going to be with each other. In today's age, marriage means very little, with the 50% divorce rate and things like "wife-swapping" parties... why should I wait to be married, then? I'm curious to see people defend this notion. Non-Christians, please don't bother.

I AM going to marry her. My question is, why should we have to wait for that?

Answer 1

In my opinion, you will always have the 'Bail-Out' option. And the 'Well, it's okay to fool around, because...hey...we're not married or anything' factor.

You commit, you pledge your faithfulness and you sign the papers. You never use the word divorce: as a weapon, as a joke, as an ultimatum. It will cease to become an option and you will be forced to hash out the problems married life throws at you.

If two people put each other's needs and feelings first, there is nothing they can't get over. And you'll find that when the time comes when that warm fuzzy feeling called love grows a little stale...(Emotions cannot last all the time) the commitment of a marriage can keep you faithful until the feeling returns.

It's great to know that there's someone watching your back.

MONOGAMY ROCKS!!

Answer 2

Awesome question. Marriage was created by God and is meant to be between one man and one woman. Sex is the single most important act two people can share. Unfortuneately, it has been trashed by a society that uses it to sell things and degrade people. If you truly love your girlfriend the way that you say you do, go the next step and tell her that you love her so much that you are willing to wait until your wedding night to have sex with her. How many of that 50% that you posted also believed that they were going to be each others for life? What was their relationship based on? Too many couples today are building their relationships based on sex and emotions. Then they get married and things get boring. Then the affairs come, they fall out of love...divorce. The reason why marriage means "very little" in this age is simple: Today's society has completely burried God and left Him out of their marriages. The simple fact is that without God, most marriages don't stand a chance. Couple that with the fact that people just don't want to commit to anything these days and your rate will get even higher. People continue to seek other people to fill the void in their life that only God can fill. How many of that divorce 50% had six months of pre-marriage counceling? If you're not getting it, you need to! It's better to marry than to burn. Living together without being married is not an option, and divorce for the married couple is against God. But our nation, as I said, has cut God out -it's time people made a stand for the sanctity of marriage. Wait for the sex and get married. You'll be glad you did.

Answer 3

Do you think that because this is the year 2006 that the rules of the bible somehow do not apply? I do understand wanting to have sex before or not being able to wait, (I could'nt/did not want to wait, and am now married)however people today take sex for granted and it is abused from internet porn to disco divas, people exploit something that is supposed to be intimate and real. The question is, how long have you been with your girlfriend? If you are lusting after someone you may be blind to their soul and therefore waiting will show you how deep your love is. If you are so attracted to her - get married and enjoy a long life together with honesty and loyalty and move towards God together. It's not always easy, but you will please God and that is what this life is all about even though it's easier said then done.

Answer 4

That's a loaded question.
Okay so I will shoot.(No pun intended)

It must matter to you and your partner. If you are looking for a yes or no I cannot give either one.
Yea, some hardliners do not like it. Liberals say go for it.
You do not mention your age. That makes the world of difference.
Simple fact.... Once you have sex your relationship will change.
Forever.
If you care for each other and you say you will be together than I think you can wait just because the anticipation makes it so much to look forward to.
I'm not saying do it, I am saying only your maturity will decide.
Marriage still means a lot to the couple that are still together.
If you can talk and decide about this I am sure you will overcome many problems that face couples in today's world.

God Bless.

Answer 5

sex is marriage once you take that step in gods eyes you are married. Getting married with the paper and a ceremony is a way to announce to the world that this is the person your with and it does make things better because you announce to everyone and eachother your vows. Marriage can work but both have to give 100% not 50/50. As long as you stay togather and dont stray then your not really committing a sin. Think of it this way if you were the only two people left who would marry you?

Answer 6

Well, if YOU are a christian, you already know the answer...cause it's in your Bible ...God's word. If you are going to marry her..Why NOT wait? What's the big deal waiting for the marriage if you've waited this far and are going to get married anyhow. If you are a christian, or if she is...respect yourselves and your beliefs enough to wait. Also, I think you will find it a more bonding, special , more intimate moment when you two come together for the first time after you are married. Doing it before marriage takes the sanctity out of the unity itself. To unite your bodies AFTER your marriage will be something you can cherish together your whole lives...knowing that you waited for only each other.

Answer 7

All I know are two things, God is my creator, He loves me and knows what is best for me whether I know why or don't know why- My kids don't always understand every decision I make for them, but because I love them, i want them to trust me and obey because the decision I make are in their best interest and I can sometimes understand or discern the consequences when they cannot- so for me - because God said is enough for me.
Secondly, just because others have made something beautiful look bad, does not mean it is bad or invaluable any more. It is like saying all white people are worthless now because a few are racist pigs who have done atrocious things to other races. Yes, a lot of people have abused, demeaned and disrespected marriage- just because they did not take something serious - seriously- soes not mean that marriage is the problem or is no longer valuable. Marriage is a gift from God and is valuable for many reasons. You should wait out of respect and as a gift, the ultimate gift to each other , as a message to the world and to your future children.
I think it is awesome that you are committed and committed to being faithful- to me though, (een though not everyone sees it this way) Marriage is a symbol of that commitment, it is a covenant promise, it is a message to the world that you are committed to one another and it is a sign of respect.

Answer 8

Books have been written on this topic and I find it difficult to give you a good answer in a few sentences.

If you really love and respect her, you would put her on a pedelstal and not want to become sexually intimate without a marriage certificate. I know that sounds strange in today's world, but the two becoming as one applies to the physical act as well as the spiritual bonding. Premaritial sex muddles everything by giving you a false sense of being right for each other even if you are not. You stay together and miss the big warning signals that something is wrong. Something forbidden tends to affect people by powering them with the secret indulgence as well. Once the marriage happens, that feeling of the secret indulgence is gone. Many find themselves so hooked on that feeling of the secret indulgence, they are ready to end the relationship to find it again or become unfaithful. Others find their sense of trust is broken . . . afterall, if he/she bent the rules with me then they will with someone else.

If you search the scriptures there is a divine order to all things. There is an order to a man cleaving to his wife (and vice versa) as they set off on their own. (Read Adam;'s statements after Eve was created.) When you do things out of order, you have destroyed part of the divinity of the relationship. Trust me, there is a huge difference in a Christian relationship done in the right order and what the world tries to counterfit. I hope you have faith in Christ, your beliefs and you love her (and yourself) enough to wait.

Answer 9

marriage is a big thing believe it or not, sex clouds your thinking. you will do things you wouldn't do if sex wasn't involved. that's the reason for the 50% divorce rate you mentioned. sex is suppose to be a bond between two people, if you bond with half dozen people, who are you really bonded with? I am guilty of sex before marriage, and my thinking was why does it really matter, it takes maturity to understand. you know not what tommorrow will bring or the onset of hormones in you or your g/f, so don't plan forever, you have no idea. life changes people and the promises you make today will matter very little in a few years, hormones lead to some very good rationalizing.

Answer 10

Maybe if people waited like God said to, the divorce rate would not be so high. If he asked you to do it (wait) maybe the reward of waiting is an incredibly happy marraige.
Women are very big on the respect a man shows her.
I think, can't say I know, that if you wait, then the sex is
actually something beautiful that you'll NEVER know otherwise.
Just a theory.