I was married for 12 years, 3 kids. divorced in 2000. I have been with a new lady for the last 3 years, we live together now and so forth, buthere is the kicker, she has been married 3 times in the past to my 1. She wants to marry! My being afraid to remarry normal or should I get more into details. My ex and I get along well for the most part, she with her last ex. but she dont get along with the fact that my ex is still very close to my family, and expects them to shut her out because she is no longer my wife. Makes for some interesting nights.
2006-07-31 13:54:35 · 9 answers · asked by Captain Carnage 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow! Married three times? So? What's the big deal here? Can't she make a commitment?
You have been together 3 years. What has gone on in that time? Have you been content? Happy? Feel trapped? You know by now whether you can live with her. You know by now how much you love her.
How do you feel about marriage? Is it something you want? Both people have to want to be married for it to work.
She needs to come to terms with your ex being part of the family. There is no way around it. She can accept this and make things easier on you, or she can continue to be upset over it. If you marry she has to accept all aspects of your life.
From what I have read here I would advise against rushing into things. It doesn't sound like a good relationship yet. The old counseling route is what I would recommend before you marry her. Maybe she can get some help understanding that your ex is not a threat to her position in your life.
2006-07-31 14:04:19 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are, buddy. I am scared of marriage, too. I am going through a divorce myself. My ex and I get along better know than when we were married. But, my boyfriend dont like him being around, either. But, I have to keep in touch with him because we have kids too. You just need to explain to your new gf that you're not ready for marriage, yet. She would rather you tell her now than if you guys get married, and you hold it against her. I feel for ya, man. I'm in the same boat.
2006-07-31 21:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one is complicated. If she's having trouble with the x-wife being a part of the family now, she'll probably really throw a fit when you marry. It's normal to feel afraid in your position, it's normal. Just take your time and see how things go, what's the hurry?
2006-07-31 21:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by trainer53 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can say is dont marry again till you want to get married. divorce is expensive you should know. if you do get married get a prenump saying this is my house this is my car give a list of all your merchandise and say these things you will leave alone and not touch in case of a divorce. i dont know all i know is that i am married but if i get a divorce it will be the last marraige and divorce i ever go through. plus your family shouldnt shut out your babies momma. do they do that infront of the children? how would that make you feel? the new girl that wants to get married sounds like a controling ***** i think if you do get married to her you are ganna have hell of problems. well good luck to you.buh bye
2006-07-31 21:07:40 · answer #4 · answered by Crimson_Skies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think it would be safe to say that you don't need to remarry, especially to someone that has been married 3 times. Just chill out, you served your 12 years now it is time to be all about you. Good luck with your situation.
2006-07-31 20:59:04 · answer #5 · answered by adkfoaiefnafedw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is great that your x gets along with your family, she is the mother of your kids. what does your new girl friend want....there to be b*tching and fighting all the time ( between your x and your family) I think that your girl friend needs to be a little less childish.
I too would be afair to marry someone that has had three failed marriages, so i don't know what to tell you about that
2006-07-31 21:05:14 · answer #6 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your new lady is not being reasonable with regard to your family. Your ex is the mother of their grandchildren, nieces and nephews and of course they are going to accept her.
How is she with your children? Does she accept them or does she want them excluded too? Wives may come and go, but your children will always be your children.
2006-07-31 21:00:41 · answer #7 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your in a pickle! With her track record your chances of staying married are not good! Tell her u dont really see why you have to marry .Tht your not into it anymore ect,,,,,,,good luck!
2006-07-31 21:03:00 · answer #8 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...I am lost!
But yea...a track record of 3 failed marriages would scare me off!
But it sounds like to me that you want to get back w/ your ex...so marriage wouldn't be good!
2006-07-31 20:59:45 · answer #9 · answered by SouthernKNC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋