My husband just came home for a week from WY and the night before he leaves he tells me that he fooled around. And the thing I dont get is that he was in Iraq for a year and did nothing. And now all of a sudden he tells me this. He said that I have not pleased him. But the thing is that I am pregnante with his second child and I have not been wanting sex. And I dont know what to do? So if there is anything someone can tell me how to haddle this please do.
2006-07-31 13:38:03 · 15 answers · asked by Robin D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's different in Iraq. I'm here now. I know what it's like to be there for someone when they are in Iraq too. My ex went last year and I stuck with her, but when it was my time she ended it shortly after I got here. She went to a place where they party all the time and guys are all over her. Here you work all the time and can't drink and don't have much time to do other stuff. Plus, you try and hold onto things that are home. But when you stick someoen in a different environment it's a different story. If you need to talk email me. I've been through a lot of the same stuff and am still going through it. But, I honestly beleive once a cheater always a cheater. Sorry.
2006-07-31 14:28:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well firstly it sounds like you are making an excuse for him. Dont do that. Dont be fooled, there are prostitues in Iraq, so they can get pussy. Look, its a really hard thing, I do not approve of cheating at all. Either forgive him and tell him that you want to make things work sexually for one another, if not dump him now and move on. I dont know if he has a history of cheating, but thats really low to tell you right before he leaves, Chicken Sh**t, If he fooled around once, and he is so not satisfied, what is gonna make him not do it again, he probably will with that attitude. Thing of what you want, if you love each other enough and make it work or dump him.
2006-07-31 13:45:35 · answer #2 · answered by ms.mary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you have to stand up to him and let him know that if he wasn't happy in the relationship that he should have talked to you before he decided to cheat. I would walk away at least temporarily and let him know that if he cheated on you, he has no right to treat you as if you deserved it. As his wife you should have been available to him, but now you are caught in a situation that if you just stay and try to do better you will be giving him a sense of victory and sending the wrong message. You have to let him know that you would rather be alone than with a man that cheats. Hopefully if he loves you, he will hear that message, go to counseling, be willing to work through things and you wont have to cross this bridge again.
2006-07-31 14:13:47 · answer #3 · answered by krichard70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest seperation. either he loves you and he is teribbly sorry he cheated or he doesnt care. i would suggest go your own way honey. and dont stay just for the kids you have to be happy too you know. I wouldnt be happy if i was in your shoes. Or you could be a cold hearted B8itch and video tape your self haveing sex with someone and send it to him when he goes back to iraq or something. that would be funny. Go see a lawyer. and file for divorece before he does. make sure you write down every single bad thing he has done to you. make sure he doesnt get the kids. Well hun i wish you the best of luck.
2006-07-31 13:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by Crimson_Skies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's quite typical. Wife does not want sex, husband does. It's part of the wedding vows, yet women have no problem forgetting that part. Then when a guy falls for a bit of human companionship, it's ''cheating on her''. You should suck it up and have sex anyway...even if you don't 'feel' like it. Think he 'feels' like doing everything he does for you.....doubt it.
Note--there are not all that many women in Iraq for him to cheat with....and it's a no-no to do it with other military types.
2006-07-31 13:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably did cheat in Iraq and has been doing it all along. I hate to see any marriage break up, maybe he would agree to counseling especially since there is another baby on the way. If he doesn't then he is not worth it, you have to think of your kids and if he was using protection while cheating. good luck
2006-07-31 13:46:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anna Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't stop cheating, then you really don't have much of a marriage. Perhaps you to can go to couples counseling, if not then maybe you should separate until he gets it together. You know he could have some PTS issues going on from Iraq, or if not, just divorce.
2006-07-31 13:43:38 · answer #7 · answered by consigliere 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey leave............ you and the kids will be just fine without him. Make his no good a$$ pay child support and alimony. He probably didn't cheat while he was in Iraq because it is hot as H*ll and no one wanted to get close to his stink a$$. He is a jerk.
The only thing that you need to do to handle this is get a good lawyer
2006-07-31 13:45:20 · answer #8 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should both seek marriage counseling. Nobody can tell you what you should do, it's your life. Is your husband sincerely sorry or just did you casually say "Well you don't please me so..." If that's the case I'd be packing his bags for him.
I'm sorry you are going through this. Good luck!
2006-07-31 13:44:30 · answer #9 · answered by sahm2boys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't tell you to get the divorce because i can't interfiere with your feelings but i can tell you that HE DON'T DESERVE YOU!!!.
Sorry it happen to you, he is an ashole because you are specting a new baby and he most know it is not good for you and the baby health.
I'll be praying for you.
God Bless You.
2006-07-31 14:37:30 · answer #10 · answered by inlove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋