My boyfriend is very passionate about politics. He's intelligent, articulate, and I agree with him and his views 99% of the time. However, there have been times in our relationship that we discuss politics and we agree on the general issue, but not a certain aspect of it. I can't help but take it personally when we get involved in a political argument. I end up feeling personally attacked(even though it is not intentional on his part) and he gets frustrated with me because I do get so pissed off and the discussion becomes unbearable and we each get offended. It sometimes feels like a bad S&M scenario with no safe word, because we just keep pushing each other's limits and one or both of us ends up getting hurt. I love that I'm with someone whom I can talk about these things with, but how do I keep things congenial and respectful, and not get so angry and offended?
2006-07-31 13:19:28 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, you and another answerer have suggested the solution. What you need is a way to stop a conversation from escalating to a point where bitter feelings develop, and the idea of a "safe-word" is a good one.
However, in order to be a little less into the sexual, perhaps it can be called a "time-out", perhaps even saying that for the time-out. In any case, it's something that should worked out that either of you can use that term, stopping the conversation in its tracks, which both of you need to respect. The idea is that you call a time-out whenever one of you feels that passion will turn to anger and bitterness. It's a way of establishing limits.
It has to work both ways. It should not be used to stop an argument that you are faring badly at unless that is the cause of anger. It's only purpose is to interject a period of time where the mind might need to slow down and realise that the important thing is to not harm each other.
Passion is fine in a relationship. Actually, it's great, even over politics, which you should be free to discuss. The idea is to keep the passion from mutating into the monster of resentment and bitterness. It's merely a lay suggestion, but I feel that it's one worth trying.
2006-07-31 18:03:03 · answer #1 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not bring politics into the relationship. What a f ucking waste of time. Love each other. Use your mouths for kissing and licking. There are plenty of things that are in your everyday activities with each other that you will have to agure about. Find the heart and let it burn with the desire for each other.
2006-07-31 13:35:51 · answer #2 · answered by M2J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you said, it is like Mental S&M without a safe word. Maybe you should make one of those. It may sound rediculous, but a "safe word" as it could be called would be used to tell eachother when the discussion has gone too far, and when one of you would just like to drop it.
2006-07-31 13:24:51 · answer #3 · answered by ToxicBeautyQueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop talking politics with him. Make a pact and stick to it.
2006-07-31 13:22:33 · answer #4 · answered by a1quick57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋