My best friend is adopted, and lately wondered alot about her biological parents. She has entered like a state of depression because she doesn't know if they are alive, if they are dead, and has so many un-answered questions that she would like to ask her biological parents.
I know that not many people can help me with this, but i'd really appreciate it if anyone who was adopted and re-united with their parents can let me know how they got a hold of their parents. Even a simple website (if there is one) would help TONS. I googled it, but i don't know which websites are good or not.
My best friend means so much to me, and i hate to see her depressed like the way she is. please help.
2006-07-31 12:56:51 · 9 answers · asked by surfershorty18 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
im 18 and have been adopted, I was adopted through an agency Called Bethany Christian Services. i have not been able to locate my birthparents yet though. In order to do so, i must write a letter to the angency requesting that my parents be located....if this helps at all let me know, or you can email me at lezli_12@yahoo.com if you have any other questions or jus wanna talk about this issue! hope i was able to help!
2006-07-31 13:02:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is wonderful that you are being so supportive to your
friend. I, myself am not adoptive but I do have a sister who has a son and the father is not at all in the picture. The sad thing is,
though, he is 8 and already asking about his dad. We all knew what the man was like and thought it would be in the best interest
not to ever contact him. I know this not likeur friends situation
but , her adoptive parents should have records of there names
and if not maybe to cheer her up you can remain to be supportive
as you are and remind her that her adoption was never about her some parents have kids way to early and can't handle the responsibilities. What if she met them and wished to herself that she never had met them. You never know what they will be like.
2006-07-31 13:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by Dr.Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately she cannot even look for them until she is 18. I went thru all that, I was adopted and I gave up a child for adoption. She can try www.nationaladoptionregistry.com , but the birth mother has to register also.,I found my daughter on a free adoption website, my mom thru the adoption agency. If all else fails she can go to court where ever she was born and try to get the records open. My mom gave two of us up for adoption, my half sis was disapointed with the results, I think she thought it was going to be some kind of fairytale, but alas, real life does not work that way. I am glad I found them both, just remember, once you find them, they cannot be 'unfound', so she needs to be prepared no matter what the outcome.Good luck and God Bless.
2006-07-31 13:10:36 · answer #3 · answered by perplexed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best place to start is where the local adoption took place. Some records are sealed at the request of the parent or parents. Try this one. Just be ready in case this is a closed adoption-
2006-07-31 13:04:14 · answer #4 · answered by thebulktiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not adopted but I think that her real parents are the ones she has at home. I can understand that she is curious and would like to know why her biological parents gave her away, what they look like, etc but she needs to realize that the people that have been with her all her life are her adoptive parents. When she was happy, sick, scare, nervous, etc they were there.
A mother/father are the people who pick u up when u are crying, not someone who had sex and got pregnant
2006-07-31 13:03:50 · answer #5 · answered by ani2525 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y not ask her step parents what state she was born and then try the hospitals if she can or try going to the adopted place the one that had her up 4 adoption and see what they can do would love to help if i can deanyoder2001@yahoo if u need to talk or to see if i can help good luck
2006-07-31 13:04:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has to start with the parents who adopted her. they have information to start..with. she should let them know it is no reflection on them and does not affect her love for them if this is true. she needs to find out if her name is her birth name.. locate the city where she was born..check vital statistics. locate any last names she possibly can. she must also know..that sometimes birth parents do not want to be located. so she should prepare for that. i heard somewhere..that those reunited on shows like oprah etc... only got together one or two times.. then they just parted. so your friend should prepare for the worse and hope for the best. remember..social security numbers... birthdate.. occupations... and school year books are a start.
2006-07-31 13:04:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom was adopted and she only got to know her bio family in her fifties (I was already in high school). Tell your friend not to focus on the past. It's not going to do her any good. I honestly don't see my mom's bio as 'real' family. They weren't in my life early on, and I don't see them supporting me in any way in the future. My mom is kind of relieved to find out who her true family is, but she still loves her adoptive parents more since they raised her. Tell your friend not to have any expectations about it--and let her know that knowing her family WON'T change a lot of her things in her life.
2006-07-31 13:03:21 · answer #8 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she talked to her adopted parents about this, or their relatives?
2006-07-31 13:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋