I moved out because of stepkid problems. Dad just would let them treat me like crap. So he called x wife and and old girlfriend to JUST talk. He also joined a dating service all within a week of me leaving. I moved back and then found this all out. He promised he would stop talking to the x girlfriend but found out it is still going on via the web. Am I wrong for not trusting him? I feel he cheated on me. He says it was just talking!!! Am I being to hard on him?
2006-07-31 12:02:24 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, you aren't being hard on him, you are being hard on yourself by staying with him, because he's lying and things are NOT going to change. Do what makes you happy, and staying with that situation couldn't be good.
2006-07-31 12:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You won't like my answer, but the truth is, you're being ridiculous. First, you moved out on the guy. That's not a simple step, and it's not something you do to "work" on a marraige. You left. Period. And he then started to rebuild his life without you. You can't move out of a man's life and expect him to just leave it empty if and until you decide to return.
Second, what do you think "fidelity" means? That he can't talk to anyone else about the troubles in his marriage? That to understand a woman (you), he can't even speak to other women? Particularly those who already know him and could understand what HE might be doing wrong? In terms of "fidelity", what vow did you break by leaving? The truth is, you've been more unfaithful than him.
If being sexually active with another is not an issue, the moment you left, you lost any right you might have had to his silence. With you gone, he had every right to seek out the advice and council of others, whether you like them or not.
You have no right to expect him to live in a vacuum that you created, or try to rebuild friendships when you took yourself out of the picture.
2006-07-31 12:22:22 · answer #2 · answered by antirion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've taken on a chunk in your relationship. First of all - why is the ex-girlfriend still in his book ? join a dating service? and if he contacts his ex-wife it better be about the children because that's the only concern they should both be discussing. Promises..promises..he sounds like he needs to grow up and learn about how to keep a relationship. If you feel that this person is the only one for you, I suggest you both get help otherwise you sound like your self esteem is pretty low...come on girl! rise above and show him your worth more than he knows!
2006-07-31 12:14:52 · answer #3 · answered by tropical breeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No 1 is he seem he has some issues that seriously need attention to. Kids are hard when they aren't yours but they are kids for goodness sake. As far as talking to his X it seems like this goes on alot. Maybe there are too many X's. He didn't cheat on yu but he didn't tell you the truth either. Trust is something that ha to be earned. Seems like your X needs to look up Trust in the dictionary.You aren't being hard on him you guys need to sit down and if you need it get some professional help.
2006-07-31 12:08:43 · answer #4 · answered by Debra M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lots of red flags here. he seems to have moved on very quickly. i would not trust him, but besides that, why do you want someone who lets his kids treat you like crap? i'm sure you could do better and find someone you love who also loves and respects you in return. i'm not a believer in going backwards. if you got to the point you had to move out you must have been very angry and at your limit. did something change in the week you were gone?why are you back? move forward and get on with your life. and to answer your question....yes, it's a form of cheating.
2006-07-31 12:16:20 · answer #5 · answered by sunnyca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like one of those times where the woman (you) are not secure and think that you're wrong somehow. The guy sounds like either a big-time loser or someone who is only looking out for themselves.
He surely doesn't care that much for you, that is unless you think the ex-girlfriend has your best intentions in mind and he is taking her advice on how to be such a great partner for you.
2006-07-31 12:11:32 · answer #6 · answered by RO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should've stayed gone the first time. Going back is usually not a good idea.
2006-07-31 12:06:03 · answer #7 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't... don't trust him. If he isn't respecting you in regards to the kids... and the other women... he doesn't really have any intrest in you. Move one.
2006-07-31 12:05:43 · answer #8 · answered by Starlight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM THIS GUY.
He will doing the babysitter the next time he takes her home. do not trust this guy.
2006-07-31 12:05:16 · answer #9 · answered by gobluemichael 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry , but in your heart you already know the answer! be good to yourself! my saying after my divorce-" to thine own self be true"
2006-07-31 16:45:04 · answer #10 · answered by S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋