My husband of eight years and I were not getting along. I started buying everything in sight to dull the loneliness when he worked long hours and belonged to every committee under the sun. He said that he wanted me to start therapy for overspending. I did. Two weeks later he moved out. It has been 9 weeks. He wanted to talk in person. I agreed. We met on a park bench ( my suggestion). He said that he didn'tthink that it would work because my opinion of him wasn't great. I asked who was he seeing. After hemming and hawing he told me a coworker on and off but that it was off because she wanted to meet his friends and parents and he wasn't interested in that. I feltthat I had nothing to lose and in a calm voice told him how I felt about him and it all, good and bad, and that we should not see one another and when it isthe turn for the other to have the kids to drop off in a neutral place with a third party so as not to have contact. He then said that we need to talk more. I drove away.
2006-07-31 11:32:08 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How boring. He's seeing a co-worker. Could he be anymore typically generic. Get going girl. There is a big big world out there, go take a big bite......
2006-07-31 11:43:20 · answer #1 · answered by Cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking too much of a public forum without giving more information. The biggest questions is do you still love your husband? If you do then you should try everything you can to make things work out - I think that so many people are under the mistaken impression that you don't have to work to make a good marriage, but you do. And you can't expect to maintain the tension and excitement that you feel when you are first dating someone you are attracted to either. The other thing to consider is that the majority of people make the same mistakes in relationship after relationship - they say and do the same things and expect different results. Try to recall what attracted you to your husband in the first place and what you liked about him so much that made you decide to marry him. Maybe the two of you could go to couples therapy to work out all the issues - I'd suggest it because otherwise you won't really know if you've give your marriage your best shot. At least that way you can bring the relationship to a close instead of wondering years from now if you did the right thing.
2006-07-31 18:45:15 · answer #2 · answered by Mother Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to talk again, perhaps at a restaurant or a neutral place. You need to lay all your cards on the table and see if there is something to rebuild a relationship on, because if there isnt then its time to move on and while you have him there,bring it up.... posible divorce. It is in your best interest to remain civil and friends no matter what happens, trust me. Tlak to him and go from there. Just remain calm and truthful no matter what he says and be prepared for something to come out you may not want to hear, but it has to be done and now. Good luck
2006-07-31 19:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you did the mature thing but it moreso sounds like you all made absolutely NO EFFORT to try to work to make your marriage work. As soon as things got itchy you both retreated. Where is the love you once shared 8 and 9 years ago? It is good that you are level headed about this all and clearly you would be accepted by God in your decision to divorce due to his adultery so... all things considered, I am glad you are healthy, but is this really what you want to do? And please stop the spending. Contentment is already inside of you, you just need to decide that you have it. Be complete in YOURSELF...you seem like a very smart, articulate good woman. You don't want to ruin your credit and rack up debt and clutter. Be clear. Make a list of what you want and allow yourself a lot of introspection and healing.
2006-07-31 18:43:28 · answer #4 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi Betty,
I get a strong feeling, your focused on hubby, well l think the best thing to do is focus on what you have.......you .....your kids. Be kind to your self first. The one person you will have til the end is you. Your kids need to feel safe and secure about their parents love for them....so please keep in mind, they have a right to see both parents.. The more positive and happy you are, the better they will be. If you and hubby are happier apart, so be it.... OH and the kids just love seeing their parents getting on well after parting. Good luck
2006-07-31 18:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you already decided you should move on. You weren't happy anyway so it doesn't look like you have much to lose by giving up on it and everything to gain, namely hope of happiness in the future.
2006-07-31 18:44:28 · answer #6 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋