okay so over 1 year ago my husband and I posted a profile on a "swingers" website. we had an open marriage together for this length of time. Well there was always this guy that IM'd me sense like day one. Never met him, never intended to meet him. We just flirted on IM every once in a while. today happened to be one of those days. This guy said that he was going to be in my area and wanted to meet. He has said this time and time before, and I alway tease him and say yeah okay get a hold of me, but he doesn't have my name, number or know where i live. I also tend to stay off IM when I know he will be in town and on.....well my Husband read the IM's today. I don't have anything to hide so I wasn't apologetic. there was a time where my hubby talked to him! anyway, hubby is mad....furious really. And I am not sure what to do with it. I already deleted the guy from the IM, I have no NEED to speak to him, or desire. It was just there sometimes. and it was rare. like 5 or 6 times this year.
2006-07-31 11:22:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
so what do I do. My husband is freaking out......
2006-07-31 11:22:38 · update #1
I read you info on 360... I'm sure its not gonna take to much to get him going.... If you step back and look at it, maybe even reverse the roles... Well, you know...
Is explaining the situation out of the question? Try there... Dude thinks you cheating on him!
Keep your head high, demand respect!
Peace
2006-07-31 11:46:25 · answer #1 · answered by and,or,nand,nor 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you know that this is inappropriate. Even swingers have rules. In a lot of cases flirting is done together, not seperately. You should never do something that you know will make your partner feel hurt and uncomfortable.
Flirting is more dangerous than you think. Especially on a computer. There are some pretty smart people that can access your computer with out you knowing. There goes your personal information.
I think you need to speak with your husband. There are a lot of things going on in his mind, like...
If this meant nothing, why hasn't she told me about it before? or
What else has she been hiding from me? and
Even if she explains it, will I ever be able to trust her again?
I really think you owe him an apology even if you really think nothing was wrong. Tempting fate is always wrong.
2006-07-31 18:36:42 · answer #2 · answered by OKA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your hubby he set himself up for this by posting on the swingers website..I mean, he can't tease a dog and then get upset when it bites him.
I think if you've been completely honest with your hub regarding this flirty IM guy then don't get yourself upset...explain that you won't meet up with him..end of story..and since he is so upset maybe ya'll should pull out of the swingers club?
2006-07-31 18:44:00 · answer #3 · answered by Sharlala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first to answer your question (inspite of how I feel about the situation):
oh puleez what's his problem, if he was willing to have an open marriage and now he gets mad?
I don't get it... he has his fun, but he gets pissed at even the idea that someone wants to have fun with you?
on the other hand, that's what you get for having an "open" (unholy, desecrated) marriage. A couple of people with messed up emotions.
oh well, some people just can't resist fixing things that are working just fine, and when they fall apart they act surpised.
2006-07-31 18:35:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you shouldn't done that first place. If you have nothing to hide why is he the last person to find out on the IM??? you should of told him first place what going on and it will stop from getting worst. but now he pissed and Of course I would and if my wife told me and I would told her not to do it removed it now. Didn't mean that don't know where you live and phone number or your name, even you tease that person too.
Your husband so mad that you didn't tell him that it been on going, and again you have nothing to hide???? well you should of told him before someone or he find out before you do. I always tell my wife who I talk to on IM and stuff like that my wife glad I did that becasue she trust me and even if she didn't like it but better know now than before someone knows.
Like my wife went to 2 week vacation with my kids four hrs drive up there. I called my wife to let her know that I am going with female friend to go watch movies and she told me I trust you. I told her I know just want you be ready so I won't be the last person to tell you. and She got back and went to work and she came home and guess what everyone said I saw your husband with some female at the movies. My wife said oh I already know. They said oh you knew he cheating on you??? she said "No, I knew because my husband first person to tell me what going on." All of them said "Wow, really? Lucky you have husband to tell you what going on before someone told you!" She said " I know that how I trust him and knowing that he will tell me first no matter what. sometime make me mad but I should be greatful that he told me himself than for me to find out myself.
So there. you should of told him before he find out or hear from someone. Tell your husband from now on I will tell you who perosn is and so you won't be the last person or other people will tell you before me. I will be damn sure be the first person to tell you. that only way you will trust me. it works and I can proof you 110% my 10 points does work.
2006-07-31 19:13:38 · answer #5 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give hubby a bj and invite the guy over
2006-07-31 18:31:56 · answer #6 · answered by river_runs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a cool off time. Talk it over with him and try apologising.
2006-07-31 18:36:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop all contact. Sounds like your relationship isn't as open as you thought.
2006-07-31 18:35:12 · answer #8 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where does the "open" part of the marriage come in? Please elaborate.
2006-07-31 18:36:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋