What should I do? Child in danger i am afraid?

Question

I have been divorced for 21/2 to 3 years and my ex husband and I have a ten year old daughter. He has gotten remarried without even letting his daughter know before hand. And now he has a month and a half old daughter. The step mother is getting so bad that my daughter is scared to go to her fathers for the agreed weekends. Should I say something to her father or should I say something to her meaning stepmother? Since the baby has been born she is treating her very badly. My daughter is on medication and it has to be given to her at a certain time. Her step mom wont give her the medication until she want to. I thought timing was up to the doctor not a step mom. It is ruining her schedule for sleep and other things. It has even went into threats when the father is not around. I really need some advice especially from divorced parents. What can be done? Oh the medication is for her mental/adhd/add problem. It could throw her into a warp so says the doctor. Please help me soon ok.

Additional Details

18 seconds ago
the father works a 12 hour job in cinncinati and from there at a fire house in covinton and as an emt in dryridge. he is never home he never sees his daughter when she is there. he is either not there or asleep. he would not believe me when i say these things are happening. because he dont see it. he still wants her during those weekends but he never sees her so why should he even have her.

Answer 1

Get to your attorney immediately and get visitation limits put on these idiots! Even better get sole custody and supervised visits. Your daughter's health relies on you doing everything you can to remedy this situation. Document everything and work quickly!

Answer 2

First, I think any medication your daughter needs is up to you and/or her father and nobody else. Aside from the fact that it shouldn't be his wife's problem, I think you need to consider that only you or her father care enough to be as careful as you should be with giving medication. Next, I think you should talk to her father and try to establish that he won't leave your daughter with the stepmother at all at least for now, while there's some problem. If he goes to work then he should set up a time when he's not working for being with your daughter. Maybe, too, it wouldn't hurt to just explain to the stepmother that your daughter is having "some kind of issue whether or not its justified and explain that until things get ironed out it might be a good idea to keep their time together limited. If eliminating the time your child spends with the stepmother alone and reducing the time she and her father share with his wife don't work maybe you need to get some court mediator involved. If your daughter is saying the stepmother is physically hurting her then you need to get the court to step in. It sounds to me like your husband and you may both be expecting this stepmother to become part of team when it comes to your daughter, but most people agree that children have one mother/one father and everybody else needs to be nothing more than (hopefully) a nice friend. If he's out working while she's at his house that doesn't make a shred of sense. This one thing alone is worth a visit with a court mediator.

Finally (and I'm not saying this is the case), its worth considering that since your daughter has ADHD she could be behaving in a way around the baby that makes the stepmother upset. It may be expecting too much of her to expect her to have the patience of a saint with a ten-year-old child with ADHD if it means she has to watch her own baby extra carefully around your daughter (whether or not your daughter would ever intentionally do anything to the baby). Little kids with ADHD do have to be watched and supervised more - especially around babies. They may accidentally knock the baby down or do something like run around, knock a lamp down, and have it fall on the baby. Obviously I don't know the stepmother, but if you consider that having a baby or toddler is exhausting enough and then having to be extra vigilant because of someone else's active ten-year-old, maybe it is just getting the best of her. She's probably feeling as if your husband is "sticking her" with your ten-year-old child and leaving. Maybe she doesn't intend to be mean, but if children act up and are repeatedly scolded it can feel mean to them. If this (what I've said) might be how it really is then it is very important that your husband be around to supervise your daughter when the baby is around. It might make sense that what I'm guessing could be true since you said "since the baby has been born she is treating her very badly". She apparently wasn't treating her badly before. Your ten-year-old may not know what she's doing that makes the stepmother frazzled, so being scolded about something she may not even realize she's doing is going to seem mean to her. Best wishes.

Answer 3

You, your daughter and your daughter's father has a discussion alone. If the step mother is present, this can put unwanted pressure and fear to your 10 year old daughter for her to not offically discuss this.

If he doesn't want to discuss this and will not fix it. I recommend you keeping her for that weekend.

At the same time, contact your lawyer and set up a meeting on discussing arragments.

You are her mother and your responsibility to do whatever you can in your power to fight for your child's safety. Even if that means you revolk his rights to supervision visits or him visiting her at your home.

Your daughter has a voice in this too and you make it clear her voice is heard by the judge. My step siblings did a lot of this and when they were 10-15 years of age, they had a say.

Answer 4

i would talk to your ex. if the girl isn't getting her meds as needed and she's getting threatened and is scared her dad should know. i would suggest to your ex... that due to all of the stress involved with being a new mom that your daughter just come over for short periods of time when he's around. don't say it's for the childs best interest ... FLIP IT onto what's best for the step-mom... that she probably would like time to bond with her own child and that it would probably be easier for his wife if your child wasn't around unless she would have him there to help.

REVERSE psychology is a great thing to try in this case. make the ex think you are thinking about what is best for his household right now :) BEST OF LUCK

Answer 5

i'm not a divorced parent but why dont you fix this legally? I mean you could claim that since he has no time to ever see her, since he's never around when she's there, she doesn't like to be there, the step mom is a witch, I think those are pretty good arguments, and i'm sure you can proof them, or start collecting proof so that she doesn't have to go there. I'm sorry but your ex husband sounds like an A$$ to me

Answer 6

Don't talk to either the father or the nitwit stepmother, at the age of 10 your daughter can speak for herself legally, take him back to court to have his rights revoked, his new wife is abusing your daughter.

Answer 7

I think you should go and talk to the step-mom and then go to your lawyer. Your ex-husband never sees your child and the step-mom could be putting her in danger. If your lawyer can't help and the step-mom still continues to do these things I would go to the police.

Answer 8

You need to talk with your ex and tell him how your feeling. If he isn't willing to talk with his wife you may have to tell him your going to take full custody of your daughter..shake him up a bit, but stand firm. OK, I just read the rest of your thread...if he isn't home then he shouldn't get any custody rights.How horrible for your little girl to have to spend her time with this wicked woman...no friggen way would I let this continue. You need to have her removed...immediately...

Answer 9

You should speak to NEITHER of the parents involved here. Instead, I suggest you talk to an attorney, then sue for total custody of your daughter.

Answer 10

You need to do something. That putting your child in danger with someone like that. Call your lawyer ,child protect services someone who can help.