I'm considering having sex with my bf, my friends tell me I'm too young, should i listen to myself or them?

Question

I'm 16 years old and I love him.

To all the people that say that i have to stay 'pure' to be married, do you believe that the man shoudl stay pure as well or is it alright for him to not be a virgin?

Answer 1

Boyfriend Blues or Girlfriend Gripes
Although some teens who are going out don't pressure each other about sex, the truth is that in many relationships, one person wants to have sex although the other one doesn't.

Again, what matters most differs from person to person. Maybe one person in a relationship is more curious and has stronger sexual feelings than the other. Or another person has religious reasons why he or she doesn't want to have sex and the other person doesn't share those beliefs.

Whatever the situation, it can place stress and strain on a relationship — you want to keep your boyfriend or girlfriend happy, but you don't want to compromise what you think is right.

As with almost every other major decision in life, you need to do what is right for you and not anyone else. If you think sex is a good idea because a boyfriend or girlfriend wants to begin a sexual relationship, think again.

Anyone who tries to pressure you into having sex by saying, "if you truly cared, you wouldn't say no," or "if you loved me, you'd show it by having sex" isn't really looking out for you and what matters most to you. They're looking to satisfy their own feelings and urges about sex.

If someone says that not having sex after doing other kinds of fooling around will cause him or her physical pain, that's also a sign that that person is thinking only of himself or herself. If you feel that you should have sex because you're afraid of losing that person, it may be a good time to end the relationship.

Sex should be an expression of love — not something a person feels that he or she must do. If a boyfriend or girlfriend truly loves you, he or she won't push or pressure you to do something you don't believe in or aren't ready for yet.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to have to tell you this, but love just isn't a good enough reason. You truly will regret it. Why not just wait? Every time you have sex, you are taking the chance of bringing another life into this world. I can tell you this only leads to misery and heartache before you are married. Keeping the child is hard and unfair when you can't provide for it, and giving it up for adoption is heartwrenching. Every child deserves a loving, two parent home. For many kids, this isn't possible, and it is very hard for them. The other consideration is how you will feel when you are ready to get married. Many women regret not being to offer themselves as pure to their husbands. The things that are most important in life to you now, will fade away, leaving regrets. I would hate to see you go through that. Once you do it, it's done. There is no going back. Good luck with your decision. Don't forget to be safe if you decide to be sexually active!!! Sex is not all it is cracked up to be!

Answer 3

I had sex for the first time when I was 15. To be honest with you, if I could go back and do it again, I'd wait. It wasn't worth it in the long run. I'm married now and wish all the time that he would have been the first. It doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I married him, it has everything to with that he is the best I've ever had and he still is. Try to wait a little longer. I loved my bf too, or at least I thought I did at that age. Now I look back and think what was I thinking.
Ultimately it's you who will make the decision, I hope you make the right one for you.

Answer 4

I'm 17, so I'm not too far ahead of you, but I was in a similar situation a few months ago, so hopefully I can help!

Virginity to me wasnt such an issue as many make it out to be. I dont wear a silver ring, and I have no religion. If you want to wait until you're married thats fine, but for me - well i'm about experiencing life in all its colourful forms, so I thought why not. I'm fortunate enough to be in a relationship that is steady, loving, tender and caring, and we both decided 3 months into the relationship to take the next step.

Some people say that "you're too young to be in love" or its only "puppy love". So I ask them then, when is the right age to begin to love someone? 21? 35? You will know in your heart whether you'd like to have sex with him or with anyone else you find yourself in a relationship with. I feel that I'm in love with my boyfriend. I'm no fool, I dont want an unplanned pregnancy so I use a condom and i'm about to go on the pill - i'd advise you do use some form of contraception too.

At the end of the day, if you care about your boyfriend, and he does for you too and you're both ready to take the next step then my opinion is why not? I also think that if you're mature enough to start to have sex, then its about time you learnt to deal with any afterburning consequences ie: if he leaves you after he's had you. If he cares for you as much as you do for him however I think he's trustworthy.

I really cant stand all these people that make out he will inevitably leave you after you've had sex. For all they know it could make their relationship stronger, so hows about you quit all that crap? Just because YOU regret sleeping with someone does not mean you should force that on her. Who exactly do you know that have married the one they have lost their virginity to? And exactly how many marriages work out today anyway? Is there something wrong with being a single parent?

Use contraception and talk it through first. Always listen to yourself over your friends, you may regret not sleeping with him!

Answer 5

That's a hard one to decide on.Well I am not going to tell you your too young because I am 18 years old going to be 19.
I had my first baby at age 16 your age.He is now two years old.
I had my first sex at 16. I had it 5 times before getting pregnant accidently.You need to listen to your heart..."Do you really love him like you say you do"? I mean you never know.I know from expirence you love someone that doesnt love you the same way back.My baby's father left me three days after he was born.Well you are 16 a legal age to have sex.I highly advise you to be safe and protected if you do have sex.Weather you use protection a condom and pills if need be.Good Luck!

Answer 6

in the UK 16 is the legal age, if you feel you are ready then do it. he might dump you afterwards but only you know how he feels about you and even if he does its something that will no doubt happen many more times in your life until you find the man you will marry so just put it down to life experience and move on. how many people do you know of that marry the man they lost their virginity to? most people who marry the person they lost it to dont have happy marriages and sex lives because they are always wondering what could have been and want more epierience

Answer 7

Listen to your friends, honey. They're right. I'm just an old-fashioned grandma, but I was young once, and I know how powerful those feelings are. Even having protected sex or using other forms of birth control may keep you from getting pregnant or getting an STD, but it often diminishes the relationship between girls and their boyfriends at this stage, and can lead to emotional repurcussions. Keep yourself for marriage. If you and he are truly in love, it will last.

Answer 8

No matter what, be careful, use a condom regardless of what he says. If he loves you he will understand if you want to wait too though.

I was having sex at 16, I dont feel it is too young, as long as you are careful and understand that the chances of you being with the same person for the rest of your life is really slim.

Answer 9

Awwww... you love him?? Is her going to be there when you are pregnant? Does he work now and can he support you later on? Nooooo? How about your future husband? Is that fair to him or you? I agree with your friends... You are too young. But go ahead... and MARK MY WORDS: He will dump you (you will be too easy for him, guys like challenge/chase, not the catch/keep) and you will then be known as the HO around where you live and feel terrible.
Honey, listen to your friends when your worries are real. If you have to ask, then you honestly know this answer. No one will love you like you will! Especially a guy..... Hope this helps,
JG

Answer 10

your 16 and you love him right now I would listen to your friends
I would also talk to your parents and get on birth control first

I loved the guy I lost my virginity too

and then 6 months later he loved someone else so much they got married Love you can fall in and out of love really quick when you are 16

now I know the difference and you will learn it too
I have now been married 11 years to a guy who
I never even knew when I was 16 I had to go to college before I even moved to the right town