When I met my BF I was living in Reno. After dating for a while I found out the reason I was never invited to his house was because he lived with his ex. He assured me that there was nothing but friendship between the two of them and that the reason his ex lived there was because his ex had nowhere else to go. About a month later his ex called me and pretended to be someone else and tried to get to me to cheat on my BF. I was angry and my boyfriend was furious and was going to kick the ex out. That never happened. My BF forgave his ex. Then a family situation happened for me that forced me to move back to Seattle. Five months later my BF followed. During the five months before my BF moved to Seattle I made six trips to Reno to visit my BF. On each trip I stayed in a hotel so my visit would not upset his ex. Now my BF has moved back to Reno for six months for work and moved back in with the ex. Am I wrong to still have an issue with this almost a year later?
2006-07-31 10:30:54 · 38 answers · asked by bladeskier1974 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
she should have been gone long ago, I think there is more to the story than he is telling you, the fact that she tried to break you up by cheating, shows her feelings remain for him
2006-07-31 10:34:12 · answer #1 · answered by helper 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOL and you believe that? The fact that she called you and tried to manipulate you in to doing something that would end your relationships with the bf is a HUGE clue that she isn't looking at this as just a friend thing. The situation is absolutely absurd and he would've been history until the situation changed the instant I found out about it. Not to mention that he is conducting himself in ways that will prevent his ex from being upset. When you are truly just friends with someone and share a place you are both free to bring gf's or bf's home with you. When you were staying in the hotel did he stay with you the whole time or did he make excuses to leave? I don't mean to be mean here but you are really being a super sucker here!
2006-07-31 10:35:30 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer to that yourself. You're obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation, which you have every right to feel as well. I wouldn't have put up with it for as long as you have, that's for sure. He's an adult, and in a commited relationship with you, so he should respect you enough not to have his ex girlfriend living with him. Terrible circumstance that you have to stay in a hotel while visiting him cause his EX lives with him. That's insane, and unthinkable. His ex seems like a lil schemer as well (pretending to be someone else). She sounds like she's trying to hold onto him. Men are sometimes stupid and don't see these kinds of things, but he needs to respect you and your relationship with him. It's almost like he needs to make the decision which is his priority. I hope you've explained to him how much it bothers you, and if so, he should have done something about it a long time ago! He needs to grow up and get the ex outta the house. Enough is enough, and if he can't, you should be ready to walk out of the relationship. I wouldn't go for having my boyfriend living with his ex!
2006-07-31 10:38:56 · answer #3 · answered by Kass 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I cannot believe you stayed this long!! Move on, this relationship he has with his ex is very toxic and you need not get yourself mixed up in that. I dated a guy one who had a "friend" as he called her, he said she lived down the street and that's why I couldn't really come over (except during the day when she was at work) eventually I came to my senses and realized this was he wife and that she lived there and she was more than some "friend". It will hurt when you move on, but time does heal all woulds and you will come out a better person for it.
Good luck!!
2006-07-31 10:37:09 · answer #4 · answered by Barbie doll lover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to hold strong to how you believe. It's one thing giving the ex a place to live for a month or two until she finds a place to live but something else to still live with her after a year or so. Make her move out or you need to dump him and move on yourself. Keep having an issue with this otherwise you will stay on the losing end. Good luck.
2006-07-31 10:36:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no you are not wrong, if its really his ex then they dont need to be together. there is an old jamaican saying ( old firesticks easy to catch. meaning its easy to start a fire with wood that was already being burnt.) the oint im trying to make is that if those two were in a relationship before and they keep seing each other they might want to get close again. if its even for the sex. be careful, cause the way that sounds you might be the ex.
2006-07-31 10:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by lonely 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's a liar. No way could the "ex" not find a place to live after a whole year. She is his live in girlfriend, and he is cheating on her with you. If you don't believe me, talk to her directly. You will both be better off in the long run knowing what a cheating weasel this guy is.
2006-07-31 10:35:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I think you're right.
Who does he want to see most of, I mean?
I reckon he should respect your feelings & put you first. I mean, his actions speak louder than words. I guess if he had to pay for your hotel room, he'd find his ex a new place quickly?
Maybe he does want a stubborn woman & she's trying to be that woman. What do I know about your situation, but you asked, & I would be asking those questions if it was me. Good luck talking to him about this. Sounds like you are having to compromise a lot.
2006-07-31 10:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by WomanWhoReads 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? this sounds like a soap opera! I would make sure if you both are in this relationship for the same reason, cause it sounds like he's taking things a lot more light hearted than you are. I would tell him that she needs to move out, you have EVERY right to do that! You need to have the DTR talk (define the relationship), find out where he wants things to go, don't waste any more time than need be.
2006-07-31 10:35:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend is serious about breaking up with her, they should make a clean break. The longer she stays around, the more likely new trouble will come.
Howabout getting your bf to help her find a new accomodation? You can't be spending all that money just not to upset her. I find it kinda wierd. Just stay in with them and observe if there's anything wierd going on.
BTW, doesnt your bf feel apologetic about you going thru all that trouble?
2006-07-31 10:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by TEsha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him! If he keeps going back to his ex (no matter what excuses he gives you), why would you want to be with him? Thats crap about how good friends they are. Is she his only friend? No way, if he wants a g/f, then he needs to ditch the ex for good and move on. He sounds like a loser.
2006-07-31 10:34:37 · answer #11 · answered by Catherine n 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋