Opinions on baby daddy situations...?

Question

I'm just wondering what ya'all think about a guy who raises 2 babies that may not be his, but seems to "forget" about his 6 year old daughter. I moved 3 hours away, and it was all good for about a year. For the past 2 years, there was no phone calls, no visits, no child support. I recently started receiving support, but now he's in jail. I don't know if he'll be getting out anytime soon. Should I write to him, in case he wants to rekindle their relationship? (we haven't talked to him in 4 months) I don't want to be a b*tch, I've told him that. But he needs to step up. Right now, he might need support. Any comments?

Answer 1

Either this "man" accepts his responsibility towards his child or he doesn't. Sounds like a dead-beat dad to me. Move on without "bitching" to the child about her dad.

Answer 2

He sounds like a jerk. I've seen it many times though. I don't know if rekindling the relationship while he is in jail is a good idea. I think I'd write and ask when he's getting out and if your daughter is very hurt by the situation I'd tell him. There's no excuse to choose to ignore your child.

Answer 3

if u still care about him u might write just to keep in touch but I have learned from my own experiences and others that if he's a dead beat dad..theres not much you can do to change that..if you force the kid on him he'll resent it and take it out on the kid in some fashion..priority one.. I would make sure to go thru your local attorney general and get child support from him..at least he can help out that way even if he's not involved in the childs life..after a little time in jail though he may realize what he's missing and be there more..good luck eaither way

Answer 4

From what you've said, this guy ain't no blue ribbon winner to begin with. As far as your going to a lot of effort to get he and his daughter back together, forget it. If you twist his arm and get him to show up more than twice you'll be lucky. If it's not his idea it will not happen. About the best you can do is what ever is necessary to ensure that child support starts again when they set him free, and move on.

Answer 5

when my mom and dad divorced when I was very young, he only wrote and called because a gf of his said it would look good to the courts. needless to say after a certain inident about 10 years ago where he tried to take me from my mom, we havn't heard from him really since. the calls and letters stopped, and so did tha child support. I didnt get anything for my birthday or christmas

the onltytime we hear from him was when my (step)dad tried to adopt me, suddenly he refused and began sending child support again so that he wouldnt get nailed for it. it stopped in a couple months.

I'm 16 now, that's when I was six. my step dfad has been around since I was 4...HE is my dad...because dad's are their for thiere kids

if you feel you hsould talk to him use my story as an example. I'm very bitter against my biological father for not being there when he should have. it probably hurts your daught a lot, it made me feel like I wasnt good enough for my own father.


Talk to him about it, then talk to her about it....if he doesnt get it after you talk to him, maybe you guys are better off without him. just be the best mom you can and if you do remarry, don't unnless he would be a good father for your daughter.

most importantly, listen to your daughter. she has a lot to say, even if she doesnt want to say it. if something is wrong, talk to her about it. if she can't be close with her dad, she can be twice as close with you

♥

Hope this helped, even just a little. my mom would probably be better off answering but I can give you some point of view right?


Good luck!

Answer 6

It sounds like you are better off without him in your child's life right now. Not that he could be since he's in jail . I don't see any possible benefit to writing him. Maybe the time in jail will have a positive effect on him. I would just leave well enough alone. Lastly, you may want to consider saying my child's father. It is more dignified.

Answer 7

Sounds like you want to rekindle. The child will be fine, and what kind of example are you setting for your daughter? Dad's in jail, Mom wants him back and there are two other babies that you know of......Just read all of this out loud, does it sound like a Jerry Springer episode to you?
Break the cycle and take care of that little girl and teach her that she doesn't have to be like you.

Answer 8

Firstly, I don't think you should ever use the phrase "baby daddy" ever again if you want people to look at you as an adult and above that, someone's mother. Secondly, if he is in jail, your child really shouldn't be seeing him. It could influence her to do things and act in a way that is socially unacceptable. In my opinion, you need to go back to school, learn how to type (and probably speak) and then find a relationship with someone who treats your child as their own and that treats you with respect. Forget about the jailbird.

Answer 9

Nah. It merely seems undesirable while suggested through fact its like each and each of your little ones had a diverse dad. yet 3 is a small form, some human beings have 4 or 5 little ones and four or 5 diverse dads. I had my daughter while i became 18, and there is heavily no thank you to maintain a youthful dating like that.

Answer 10

Whatever he did to end up in jail he CHOSE to do so the fact that he needs support is just lame, he did it to himself. He knows where you are, if he was any kind of real father and was interested in his kid he wouldn't have disappeared for 4 months and got himself put in jail, thats not your problem. You are a mother and your concern has to be with your children and in keeping them from ending up where their father is. It sounds to me like you are chasing him around saying please be a dad, please do what you should. He doesn't have options about paying child support if you don't let him have options. You need to rethink your priorities, you seem to be putting him over your kids, you want his approval more than you want him to be a good dad. You can't make someone be a good father, your best bet is to let his butt sit where it belongs and find yourself a good man, a good role model for your child and quit worrying about his lame butt.

Answer 11

First off, you need to worry more about your own life and the life of your child. He's an adult, he's made his choices and now he has to deal with them. Your last comment about "he might need support". Where was he for the past 2 years??? Be strong for yourself and your kids and don't let him drag you down. He obviously has issues and needs to grow up and deal with his own life before he trys having a relationship with his children.