that has been divorce like a year ago, I have never been married, iam 24 he is 34, i started to ask him about his exwife and he got mad and said that he didnt want to talk about it, how can i go about it, what can i ask him, how long will it take for him to open up
2006-07-31 09:54:08 · 10 answers · asked by pooh_lrh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Interesting ... how do you feel about him? Could there be a future? Here's why I'm asking: I'm 35 going through a divorce. My (ex-)wife is asking for it. I don't want it. We have two kids to think about. She still wants it for whatever reason. Bottomline is he is angry, probably from feeling betrayed. Like me. He'll have that baggage. ALL PEOPLE HAVE BAGGAGE! If you feel there's a future, then you need to ask and wade through his emotions. Most of all, you need to outright tell him how you feel. How long will it take? Dunno. The better question is how much are you willing to take? Is the juice worth the squeeze? Only you can answer that. Take my word, the walls will come down. They always do. He needs to go on with his life. Those plans may include you. So you have to ask yourself if there is a future with him when he does come to grips with this issue.
Finally, he seems to be lucky to have someone like you who is willing to put up with it for whatever reason. More shallower people would have run when they hear the D-word.
2006-07-31 10:16:23 · answer #1 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anger is usually based in pain, fear or frustration so I would guess that it is still a painful issue for him and that isn't a good sign for your relationship, one call from the ex and he's all over it. When something is truly done its just done and there aren't emotional reactions attached to the subject, this obviously isn't the case with him. Its a common question, anyone would ask what happened in someones marriage, and its important information for you to have because it will give you some great perspective on him and how he acts in long term relationships and unresolved issues he has. Sounds like this guy is baggage central and I wouldn't invest too much of yourself in this at least until you get some solid answers from him.
2006-07-31 17:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave it alone. That is a traumatic situation to him and is over, so let it be over. Divorce is not easy, is a nightmare and will leave you emotionally scared. You are quite young and you don;t understand how this feels and you canpt relate, besides, you are just going to dwell into the past, be mad about what he did or didn't do, etc. He is very smart by not opening this can of worms with you.
Be a mature person and stop trying to pry into his bussiness. When he is ready he will tell you, and I can guarrantee that you won't like it.
Concentrate on the present and not his past. If you want to be happy and make him happy stop trying to get his skeletons out of his closet.
Good luck
2006-07-31 17:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if there are any kids from the first marriage. If he says yes, MOVE ON, FAST!
Otherwise, it will take time for him to relax about it and tell you. If you think you can't wait, then find someone else.
One year into a divorce is still greiving time. He's still raw and bitter. But it would be really helpful for you to understand about his divorce, so you won't accidentally "trigger" something, and you will understand why he gets weird about certain things.
2006-07-31 17:01:25 · answer #4 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the person. It does not sound like he is ready to date yet. It is still too painful an issue for him to even talk about. Don't walk. RUN away.
Date younger guys, and this won't be as much of an issue.
2006-08-01 15:07:06 · answer #5 · answered by El Guapo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never, why should you know about his exwife, that's why they call them ex. let it go. he probably would just as soon forget it. you may just as soon not be a partner to that story someday. you have no idea how mean and cruel some people can be, you may end up pitying him instead of loving him, that's no way to start off.
2006-07-31 17:01:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone comes out of a relationship like that and especially if it was a bitter relationship then they probably will not want to talk about it. All I can tell you is to just let him know that you are there for him to talk to and to confide in if he wants to talk about it...that way he can't get mad at you if he brings it up.
2006-07-31 16:59:34 · answer #7 · answered by sarah_live4christ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on how much he's been hurt. He might have even been the reason. There's really no telling everyone is different.
2006-07-31 17:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually its the other way around where the person can't stopping about the ex and its even worse.
Maybe he wants to forget and move on, Don't push him and if he wants to he will.
2006-07-31 16:58:59 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well common sence tell you that he is realy hurt over this matter with his x- wife i wouldnt push your luck with him when the time is right he well open up to you but if you keep pushing him you may up loseing him
2006-07-31 17:01:39 · answer #10 · answered by little ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋