2006-07-31 09:00:55 · 37 answers · asked by Dusty 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I look at it as another way of asking "are you okay?" and of course you aren't, really, but they want some insight into how you're dealing with it all. It's extremely easy to get angry over someone's passing and take it out on the ppl around you. You feel as if the world should've stopped turning and ppl should be more upset and outraged like you are. I've had a few experiences like this myself, and I had to make the conscious decision not to let it affect me like that. Think of the ppl who are asking you that question, what if something happened to them tomorrow? It's no use feeling any anger towards them as they're just trying to show some love and support. Sometimes it's hard to know exactly what to say when someone is going through so much pain and we often end up putting our foot in our mouths. Even though I've been through it, I still don't know what to say to other ppl b/c everyone handles it differently.
2006-07-31 09:09:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 12⤊ 2⤋
I just attended a funeral last week. A brother of one of my friends had fallen and broke his neck. Just about I month ago, this same friend lost a sister.
At the funeral, I approached my friend and without thinking, asked him, if he is hanging in there. After seeing his reaction, I kind of felt stupid and just slid away.
I did not know what else to say and I still don't. Maybe after I loose someone that is dear to me, I will know.
On a side note: Would you take a look at about 8 - 10 minutes of this interview with Professor Steven Jones ? It's a 45 minute video and well worth looking at, to its end. At the very least, pass it on to those you care about.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2842384983834100001
2006-07-31 09:06:15 · answer #2 · answered by Joe_Pardy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heavens, I under no circumstances were flashed, yet I did accidentally flash some persons once. i develop into in the well-being center a at the same time as lower back and desirous to take a stoll to the merchandising area. properly, I wasn't wondering about what i develop into wearing and, enable's merely say that those well-being center gowns do not leave plenty to the mind's eye on the bottom. The nurse got here up from at the back of me and positioned a blanket over my shoulders . . . i develop into questioning why it develop right into a touch drafty lower back there!
2016-11-27 01:38:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not obvious. Are you angry? Afraid? Lonesome? It makes me angry to hear these questions. When you experience a loss you are not the only person who is hurting. Lots of other people around you see you in pain and that pains them. They want to help and at least take the time to be there for you and try to help you talk about it and deal with it. And all you can do is get annoyed at their stupid questions? I don't think that is right.
Peace.
2006-07-31 09:12:10 · answer #4 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been on both sides... the griever and the comforter, I know where you are coming from with your question. But from the other side of the equation.. that other person knows there really is NOTHING they can say or to do make you feel better... so, you go back to basics... which means small talk and just being there.
2006-07-31 09:05:43 · answer #5 · answered by Uncle Tim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times people just don't know what to say to help. I'm sure it isn't to be mean or anything. The right thing to say is "I'm so sorry for your lose" but ya know, some have never experienced anything like that yet either.
2006-07-31 09:03:53 · answer #6 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I know what you mean. When my mom died awhile back, I actually created a spreadsheet on the first things people said to me. "Are you ok" got 84% of a population of 79 I tracked.
in that same population, 5% said, "I don't know what to say" and 90% collectively whether or not they said anything gave me a hug or a kiss on the cheek or something silly like that.
2006-07-31 09:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by Tones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people just don't know what else to say and they are concerned about you. You can never find the "right words" to say to someone who has lost a loved one but they try without getting too personal.
2006-07-31 09:04:27 · answer #8 · answered by KIT-KAT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say cause they dont want you to feel different now, or be treated differently... Thats why i always ask how u doing. Its also a way of showing that you care and to let you know that your here if they need to talk.
Would u really want everybody to just cry with you?
2006-07-31 09:05:52 · answer #9 · answered by Pyp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people feel very awkward when dealing with death- They really do not have any idea what to say but they would like to somehow connect with you!
Its a tough situation-especially for you!
2006-07-31 09:04:55 · answer #10 · answered by hope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋