is this fair?

Question

would you do your chores for not even a single penny. just a "thank you" and is it fair that my dad doesnt even pay me after taking out the trash, washing every dish in the house, doing 5 loads of laundry, cancelling my plans to babysit my sisters (for no pay) and getting my sister to take a bath (its not as easy as it sounds) how much would u give me? i just dont find it fair that i have to work for no money. i have to but my own things at the mall and only get money for my b-day and christmas.

id get a job, but he wont let me. my mom earns the money and i talked to my dad about it and he always flips out and starts yelling. and have you ppl even read what i do?

and i pulled MORE then my weight. i had to take out a VERY heavy computer moniter out with the trash. i understand not getting paid for doing little things like clean the living room or rinsing off my plate, but all that stuff that my MOM told HIM to do seems unfair to me.

in response to the last question i read: my dad doesnt work, my mom does. he sits in bed, watching tv, drinking beer, telling me to do the chores and explaining that my sisters (11, 6, and 3) are too young to do that stuff. they get to watch tv and im lucky to watch 15 minutes. all that i listed was just today. yesterday at 3 pm my dad comes barging in my room telling me to mow and weedwhack the yard. my window thermomiter said it was 95 degrees. all i got was a "do better next time." not even a thank you or some gatorade?

i may not pay in cash, but i pay in blood (not a lot) sweat (PLENTY) tears (some) and $5 dollar bills he gives my sisters for doin nothing that I find while i clean

Answer 1

How much do you pay HIM for rent (living in his house), food, electricity, transporation, water, medical insurance/medication/treatment, furniture, use of computers/television, education expenses, etc?

Is it fair that he has to provide all that to you for free?

You are a family. You help each other out. He supports you and you help by helping the household run smoothly.

No, he doesn't really "owe" you anything beyond basic support which he is already providing. If you would like more money, you need to find a way to earn it by yourself. Babysit neighbors' children, for example.

You aren't working when you do chores. You are being a part of the family, helping the family to survive.

Please consider all the good blessings in your life. And thank God for your father. He works hard all day long and comes home to a daughter who complains about cleaning the house.

Many daughters have to clean their houses AND go into the fields to pick vegetables or clean other people's homes just to help their families eat.

You won't like my answer, but it is the truth. Believe me, many people would love to be in your place with a good family, especially a father who provides for you. Do you know how many deadbeat dads there are who run away from their kids and don't give them a single penny to put a roof over their heads or food in the tummies?

Taking care of your sisters may not always seem like fun, but you are so lucky to have sisters to love and play with. My daughter doesn't have a sister at all. And her little brother died and she misses him greatly. He was handicapped and he was very hard to care for. He bit her and still wore diapers although he was 12 years old. She helped him, fed him, cleaned him. But she would be happy to do it again if she could have him home alive and well...

:(

P.S. Okay, after reading your updates, I get a better picture of your situation. And I do see your point. Your dad is supposed to be the househusband, but he isn't doing anything.

Well, parents DO need to teach their kids to do chores--without expecting pay in return. BUT, he is being a poor and lazy example.

Is he Japanese? Your nick is Japanese lady. Japanese men (at least the older generation) can be very old world like and think that housework is women's work. But, you know, there is housework that is MEN'S work, like the lawn, for heaven's sake. He shouldn't be making you do that.

Why isn't he working outside the house?

Yes, it sounds like he is being very lazy. He needs to pull more of his own weight.

Have you talked to your mother about this? Tell her you don't mind helping around the house, but your dad is just sitting around, drinking beer, and ordering you girls to do everything.

She earns the money. She needs to tell him to get his act together and DO something.

If she doesn't listen to you, then I agree with some of the others here. Be patient and go to away to college. Some situations with parents need to be endured because you can't change them. But remember that you won't be a minor forever. Soon, you'll have a free life of your own. :)

As for your original question: I now agree with you. If he makes you do HIS chores while he is sitting around drinking beer all day, he should pay you something.

What a bum.

:(

Answer 2

Well how hard is your dad working so keep the roof over your head, furnish it, clothe you, run a car, pay bills (so you can sit on the internet and telephone people) and give you money for b-days and Xmas?

Think about it. He's probably not always too thrilled either.

You could always move out as soon as you are old enough. Then you'll find that you had it easy at home after all!!!

I did chores at home for no money. It was called pulling my weight. My parents were going through very hard times financially and couldn't afford to pay me to lend a helping hand in the running of the home (which was my home too).

Look at kids in the Third World - all doing their bit - cooking and washing. These families can't afford to have the dead weight of teenagers lolling about doing absolutely nothing.

No worky no eaty as the Aussies say!

Answer 3

As a teen, that SUCKS. You can't even get a job yet! I would pay you $20 a week for all that stuff you do, maybe more--it's his job as a parent to HELP you with chores, not dump them all on you. And he doesn't even lend you money sometimes when you ask? I am a rational person, and don't expect the world when I do a couple chores, but in my household, I get paid. Paid to do the EXTRA stuff. Empty the dishwasher, help with laundry? No problem! But if I'm babysitting my sister, I get paid--it's the parent's job to take care of THEIR kid! I think you are being jipped and would ask for an allowance. Hang in there; you're probably not alone!

Answer 4

uh yeah it's fair. you're the oldest child i take it. does your dad help around the house? what about mom? i'm assuming that your dad wants you to do these things because he is working and making money to support you. you should be happy that you even get a thank you for it. honey, i never got money for anything but my birthdays and it wasn't alot either. be happy for what you DO get and that you have a roof over your head and a dad that's trying to provide for you and your siblings. there are TOO many kids in this world that can't say that. you should calm your attitude about getting money for these things. if you're old enough to stay home and take care of sisters, then you're probably old enough to get some kind of part time job to pay for your own shopping expenses. and if you're not quite old enough for that, be happy for what you DO get, and stop complaining about what you don't get. just remember, there are kids all over the place that would do the things you've mentioned with a smile and never ask for a dime. they just want a home and someone to love them. so before you start demanding money, stop and think about how much better you have it then some.

Answer 5

Sweetie,

You are part of a family. Family members do things to help each other. It is understood that you arw at a point in your life where you think everything is about you- what you want, where you want to go, all of your plans- but in the greater scheme of things, if you are living with someone who is taking care of you, feeding you, paying for a place for you to live, etc, then you have to do your part to help.

Yes, it's hard & seems unfair. I remember not thinking it was fair to babysit my brother & not be able to go to parties & games, but it was something that I had to do, because there was no one else to do it.

Until you are able to move out on your own (where you STILL will NOT be able to do ALL that YOU want), this is what is expected of you. And money is not always going to be involved. Instead of fighting it, just do it & get it over with. Life would be SO much easier!

What if your parents told you to start paying rent to them or repay them for all the food, lights, phone, gas, etc., that you help to use everyday? Would you be able to do it? Isn't this part of their job as parents?

So why do you think that they are supposed to pay you?

You are part of a family- do YOUR part!

Answer 6

sweetie, i know how you feel. i dont think that its fair when you are the only one workin around the house. and mowin tha lawn is your dads job not yours. and i do think that you should get paid for doing all those things. have you talked to your mom about whats going on? i think that you should leave your house as soon as you turn 18. but you see its teaching you to be a clean and a neat person. but from the way that you have explained your story , your dad is treating you like a slave. how old are you? if you wanna e-mail me you can ok ♥ [e-mail]♥

Answer 7

I believe it's fair.

If you consider the food you eat, the clothes are partly yours that you are washing, the electricity and water that you use, etc...then you should have to help around the house without expecting to be paid for it.

Babysitting comes with being an older sibling.

Sorry girl...growing up isn't all fun and games.

Answer 8

yea. have you ever thought about when you get your own place, no one is going to pay you for taking out the trash washing your clothes, cooking or cleaning. if you want money get a job. sooner or later your parents wont be there givivg you everything you need. have to learn to be independent

Answer 9

first-talk to your mom about how you are feeling.
second-yes it is fair,that's how you pay your share,your mom work to feed you,give you some where to live,clothes,and give you the things you need,maybe not want but need.and yes a thank you will go a long way,but do you thank your mom for going to work,paying the bills so you can have t.v,phone,internet and everything you have.so before you start complaining think about it

Answer 10

You mean to say you want your dad to pay you for doing the chores? For me that's not fair. What's fair is you doing all these things out of love for your family.