I need help on any correction in my essay. If u would like to help correct anything please help me. I turn this in today at 5:00pm. Thank You very much.
The Dine College parking lot was once nicely paved with no pot holes, dips, and bumps. People use to get into their vehicles and go, instead of slowing down for pot holes and dips. Today, however, the paved parking lot has changed dramatically by growing pot holes, dips, bumps, and cracks where rain and access water runs through them. People now have to slow down at each pot hole while they are driving on a bumpy road with holes. It is now time to make this parking lot nicely paved again. The Dine College parking lot needs to be fixed and be more improved.
There are several reasons why the parking lot needs to be fixed. First, there are pot holes, dips, and cracks that keep on forming and growing bigger. This needs to be stopped and be fixed.
The other half will be on another question page.
2006-07-31 08:40:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
Wow no mistakes !!!
Bravo !!!
Oh and i also check it with a program gust to be on the save side.
Nice essay. :)
2006-07-31 08:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by Maggi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Dine College parking lot was once nicely paved with no pot holes, dips, or bumps. People use to get into their vehicles and go, instead of slowing down, watching for what might be in the road. Today, however, the paved parking lot has changed dramatically. People now have to slow down at each pot hole while they are driving on the road. It is now time to make this parking lot nicely paved again. The Dine College parking lot needs to be fixed and be more improved.
There are several reasons why the parking lot needs to be repaired.
First, there are pot holes, dips, and cracks that keep on forming and growing bigger. This needs to be stopped and be fixed.
*Goes to help edit other parts*
2006-07-31 16:03:27 · answer #2 · answered by RandomNormality 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Dine College parking lot was once nicely paved with no pot holes, dips, or bumps. People used to get into their vehicles and go, instead of slowing down for pot holes and dips; however, the paved parking lot has changed dramatically by growing pot holes, dips, bumps, and cracks where rain and access water runs through them.
People now have to slow down at each pot hole while they are driving on a bumpy road with holes. The Dine College parking lot needs to be fixed and improved. It is now time to make this parking lot nicely paved again.
There are several reasons for this, including that the problem is ongoing and is only going to get worse.
2006-07-31 15:46:13 · answer #3 · answered by humble.earthling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Dine college parking lot was once nicely paved and drivers used to drive smoothly over it.But now due to the formation of pot holes,dips and bumps,it has given rise to great difficulties for those who drive over it-people now have to slow down while nearing a pot-hole and if not they bang their heads against the roof of their vehicles.Moreover rain water gains access to the cracks and runs through them which could be potentially unhygienic.So it is now time to restore the lot to its former impeccable condition-it needs to be fixed.
Among other reasons why it needs fixing are........
All you need to do is avoid redundancy and bring coherence within the lines-Shahriar
2006-07-31 15:55:39 · answer #4 · answered by whoknowsnothing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Already you are being repetitive. You don't need to state the same thing about the 'pot holes, dips, etc' more than twice. You need to creatively come up with reasons WHY the parking lot needs to be fixed, then talk about THE CONSEQUENCES of the damages to the parking lot, and in summation, suggest some SOLUTIONS to the problem. Teachers can see that when you list the same statements over and over again you are being redundant, and are just trying to fill the space. Be creative but reasonable, and check your grammer!! Good luck.
2006-07-31 15:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by Lori 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very repetitive, use a dictionary and thesaurus to change some words. Use Undulations or resealing, explain the damage to vehicles it causes. Be more informative about the issues and problems of the Parking lot. Students risk twisting and ankle or falling which in turn increases the insurance rates for the college every time a claim is filed.
What is the solution?
Hope that helps ya....you need to write it in your words.
2006-07-31 15:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by divaterry1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have started this essay with a question: What is wrong with the Dine` college parking lot ? I would have given a brief history of the parking lot and then stated what I felt were its problems. I would have then asked another question; What can be done to fix it. ? I would have then offered what I felt were the proper solutions.
2006-07-31 19:33:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to condense your sentences and don't repeat yourself. Oh, and check the second sentence. * used to * is correct.
Good luck and hurry up!
2006-07-31 15:50:58 · answer #8 · answered by metrobluequeen1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nothing is there to change in it
2006-07-31 15:44:39 · answer #9 · answered by neema s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋