married for 20 years?

Question

hi i've been married for 20 years now i want to see other people i don't love him like i did {but i don't want to hurt him } what should i do {i no someone will get hurt }

Answer 1

well what he doesnt know wont hurt him will it! Be discreet the royal family has been doing this for ages!

Answer 2

You need to find ways to bring the romance back into your marriage. You don't give up twenty years of your life just because you don't "love him like I did". You sound like he's nothing more than a pair of shoes that you don't want anymore. All relationships go through ups and downs, and things can get ho-hum. Remember that you made a commitment to this man for LIFE. It doesn't sound like he's done anything awful that would release you from that commitment. You need to work at it a little. Use your imagination. If you can't think of ways to add a little spice and excitement, seek some counselling. At the very least, TALK to your husband about your feelings. There is NO WAY to "see other people" without everybody getting hurt.

Answer 3

I will be married for 22 years this fall. It's hard to keep a relationship going that long. A couple of years ago I felt like you did. I'm glad that my wife read the signs and we started talking.

We read a couple of self help books and started talking. A lot. We are now closer than when we were first married.

It takes a lot of work, but the grass is not greener on the other side. Believe me...I learned the hard way.

You may need some counseling to keep your relationship fresh.

Don't look at others, you'll be in the same position down the road. Work on the relationship you have now.

Answer 4

Honesty is always the best policy. Unfortunately in being honest with him and asking him to be honest with you, it may be you that gets hurt. Whatever the reason for not loving him the way you once did, you need to have a discussion with him. maybe he feels the same way. Maybe an open relationship will keep you both together and in some way enhance your current relationship. If that isnt an option and you feel strongly about seeing other people, then the only option would be to get a separation and see where things go.

Answer 5

you have invested 20 yrs of your life and so has he... are you sure this is what you want to do, or is it just a passing thing... wanting to know what else is out there ?? we all go thru that stage, NOT just the men... we all wonder if there is more to life than being Mrs. or Mr. somebody..... temptaion is the number 1 killer of good and decent ppl and marriages..... I suggest you think long and hard and maybe even get a little professional help with this.... see your pastor if you have one or talk to a trusted friend about the way you feel....... throwing a marriage away is a big deal or should be....... you may not be able to go back if you find later down the road that you made a mistake....... try talking to your husband about the way it is.. you may be surprised at what he says....... who knows..... God bless

Answer 6

~shakes his head~

Yet another married person who needs that new romance feeling. It is very sad. You can't deal with comfortable, you need exciting. Well, that would be the most common reason for getting divorce (wife says "We grew apart"), then takes the kids and property. What did you expect when you got married? After being together for 20 years you can't expect sex to be new, conversation about thoughts and dreams to be new. It sounds like you'de rather give up than go on vacation.

Answer 7

Wonderful. You are too kind. You just want to play, without hurting your husband. What you should do is figure out why you want to be with other men? IF you felt attracted to ONE particular person, I could possibly understand. If you just want to play around with some guys, while expecting hubby to stay home and wait happily for you to get around to coming home, you've been reading too many trashy novels. Marriage is two people. IF you want ANYTHING more- get a divorce.

Answer 8

I say stay in your marriage, treat him well, but take a lover on the side, but try not to get to emotionally attached so you husband doesn't get hurt, after many years a good marriage turns into friendship but people (espically women )still desire lust but in the end lust isn't worth losing a good man and half your assets over! Be very discreet but satisify your soul! Life is short and youth is shorter! Good Luck!

Answer 9

Have you talked to him about it? As a man, I would say that it might be possible that he feels the same way. However, it seems that the two of you are not arguing or fighting. Depending on your frame of mind (including your husband ) you might consider the swinging lifestyle. I have had friends that said it brought them closer together. I know that it won't work, if either of you are in the little bit jealous though.

Answer 10

Dont go there, your in a rut at the moment, recall the lust and love you once had and try and rekindle it, otherwise you will regret it, 20 years is alot to give up.

Answer 11

Its people like you that make the divorce rate so freakin high,
why the heck did you marry this guy for?
You shouldnt play with peple like that..