what if you found out the person you were dating had a sex change and was born a man/woman?what would you do?

Question

in my choice(im speaking for my self,id end it! :)

Answer 1

I'd feel betrayed that they didn't tell me (or tell me at the beginning), and if I truly loved the person I would try to work it out.

But I don't have that problem, thank goodness! That would just suck!

Answer 2

Well, are you planning to have children? If you wanted them to be your own, then yea, that's a problem, because I don' even think it's possible (yet) to implant ovaries into the man-turned-woman, and with a woman-turned-man, the same goes for the "nuts."
At any rate, there is the question of honesty in a relationship, and those choosing sex-change need to be "forthright enough" to "lay the cards out," from the beginning.

On the other hand, I'll bet if the surgeon was skilled and did an "excellent" job, then MAYBE, if you were done with the whole propagation thing, AND you enjoyed each others company, well then, what would keep the expression of love from happening?

Answer 3

Wow, so many bigotted answers. My question to ALL OF YOU is, if you are already dating the person, it can be assumed you LIKE them already, and if you cannot tell they are post-operative transsexual already, and are happy to date them as the PERSON they are and in the knowledge that they cannot have children with you; WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHAT SEX THEY WERE BORN? They are who they are now, that does not change just because of your uneducated ignorance about biology, and how dare any of you assume you understand human neuropsychology well enough to truely dictate to them that they don't have a genuine biological route to their condition of gender dysphoria! No one has that degree of knowledge about the human brain yet, anywhere! Would you beat up an androgen insensitive XY karyotype woman simply because her body developed female due to androgen insensitivity? She is no different in construction to a post-op M2F transsexual woman!

Such bigotry and hatred, and what for? To satisfy your own insecurities and sociobiological ignorance. How truely sad for all of you who advocate hatred.

Answer 4

Well, I assume you'd be able to "tell" after being together for a while. But if I found out, I think I would mentally freak myself out and not be able to handle that. I would want someone that was born a man, meant to be a man.

Answer 5

Sandy was/is her name. I do not know where she is today. I met Sandy several years ago at a software development conference. She dropped a book and we bumped heads, literally, just like on the sitcoms. She had the nicest eyes I had seen in a long time, very pale blue, almost a violet color. Pretty, but not striking, reasonably well built in a nice tailored suit and tall, did I mention tall? I'd put her at about 5'10" or maybe 5'11". And in heels, well, you can imagine. I'm 6'1" and looking into her eyes at my eye level was interesting to say the least. I introduced myself and that night we had dinner out. Cool. Nice, slightly better than average looking and smart, oh, and did I mention tall? Over the next few months we dated on and off. We lived on opposite sides of Puget Sound. Travel time for me to go over to Seattle can run to as long as 2 hours each way. Then one day, I found myself on business next door to the place she worked. I called, left voice mail that I'd like to meet for lunch and went about business. I strolled in at lunch and told the receptionist that I was there for Sandy. She called into the back somewhere and a few minutes later, Sandy came out. I didn't recognize her at first since she was dressed completely in a man's business suit and tie. Her hair was neatly combed back into a pony tail as many man with long hair do. I was confused and didn't say anything and maybe Sandy saw the look of confusion and said, "Let's go to lunch. I know a place." So, off we went and we talked. It seems that Sandy was a pre-op transsexual, with the last and final surgery left. Sandy said she was going to tell me if I had tried to any further than 1st base (yes, she had implants, and I knew this because I did cop a feel as they say, but then a lot of women do these days.) and would have definitely told me just before undergoing the last surgical procedure. Several people here have said they would freak out, break it off, yuck, and other things. I did none of these. I was not freaked out. Her lips felt just like any other person I'd kissed. She looked a woman. She acted like a woman. She had a feminine personality. In my opinion, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I'm going to assume it really IS a duck. . I'm a straight guy. I find homosexuality somewhat unsettling, a biological dead-end at the least, and it is not something I would engage in myself. I do think homosexuality is abnormal. Actually, it is sexual relations between two of the same sex I find unsettling. I think I can love another man, just not in a romantic manner. However, wrong gender identification is not homosexuality. I identified Sandy as a woman, related to Sandy as a man and a woman, and it all felt just fine. I do not feel my masculinity was threatened knowing that Sandy is/was a biological male when we were dating. What I did was not exactly break it off, but in a sense a postponement, and tell Sandy to let me know when the surgery was complete and we can pick up where we are leaving off. I was not uncomfortable with any of the time I spent with Sandy, but neither could I be comfortable without the final procedure being complete (this is the same sex romantic thing I can't bring myself to accept). So, yes, I sort of broke it off. Sandy and I wrote letters and we talked on the phone several times over the next few months and then it was time, she wrote to tell me that the next day was the big day. Then, nothing. I got a postcard from Bermuda 6 weeks later telling me it was all done and everything was completely healed and absolutely perfect; she had quit her job and decided to take a world cruise to celebrate the end of her old life and the start of her new life. I've heard nothing more. Her phone was disconnected. Mail I sent was returned with no forwarding address. She had made all of the arrangements, turned off the phone, sold her house, all of that before writing to tell me the day had come for the final procedure. She had closed the male chapter of her life.

There it is, that's what happened, and that's what I did.

Answer 6

A guy's natural reaction is to not only end it but to totally flip out about it. I would too, not really about the whole gay situation you were basically tricked into, but mor about the mistrust. Ok, it's more about the gay thing. It would be the weirdest day in my life if a guy tricked me and led me to believe it was a girl. I would think that something's wrong with me and I have a bad taste in women!

Answer 7

I would end it since that would mean the relationship was built on a lie. If they had told me right at the beginning, that would be a whole different story. But if we had been together for a while, I would end it.

Answer 8

im a woman,if he has money i woldnt mind, for i can get full sxxxx elsewhere. id check from his doc if he can give me a baby or not, his baby. even then i can have my sxxx from my other men. no need to dump.

Answer 9

Speaking just for myself, I'd end it.

Answer 10

Do you mean WHILE I'm dating her (or her => him)?, I'd leave her, obviously. But if it's after we broke up, there IS nothing I could do about it.