The only man I have ever been in love with, and we were together for years has recently got back in contact and I am going to stay with him for 2 weeks in August. We are still very good friends, and love each other so much. We split when we were younger because we were so young. Anyhow, 10 years later we have been discussing having a baby together as I said we have not been together for a while, and after I see him he will be travelling half way across the world to work. Considering all this I still feel like having his child as I know one day we will be together again, but then it maybe too late for me.
2006-07-31 07:55:40 · 26 answers · asked by anna21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In response to some of your remarks; both of us are currently working full time, we are both intelligent people ( he has a Phd. and I have a Masters) and although we do not know for sure whether we will get back together, I feel I will never love a man like I love him and he says he feels the same for me, this ha been tested over the past 10 years. I was just curious as to what others hought on this matter. And for me our child would be born from a deep love between two people, and the love would surround him/her always, we have close family members who would be over the moon.
2006-07-31 08:55:47 · update #1
No, you're not married to him, there is no commitment, he's not going to be there for his child, what kind of life is that for a kid?? Notice your question is full of "I" and "me". Perhaps you should not be so selfish and think about what this would mean for the child.
2006-07-31 07:59:31 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsay M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems like you have quite a tough situation on your hand. How long will he be away once he travels for work? Have you discussed how you'll keep in contact with each other? If these aren't questions you've thought about yet, think about it. Think about if the child will mainly be growing up with only one parent. There are plenty of people who have babies for the wrong reason. If you want to have a baby because you have a lot of love to share, then having a baby is a good thing, but don't make that the sole reason. I constantly work with children and I see all sorts of parents. It's sad for me to see parents who don't show a sincere interest or love for their child. Some people stay together in a marriage for the sake of the child, but in the end, that's not really benefitting anyone, especially the child. A child is a precious gift from God and it should be cherished. Make sure you have no regrets if you do decide to have a baby and think through all the ways you and the man's life will change once the baby is born.
2006-07-31 15:07:44 · answer #2 · answered by runninglow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you love him do not do it. If you are going to be together than wait to be together! I was a teen mom and I will tell you raising a child without a father can really hurt the child. My 7 year old has very low self esteem because his dad is not around. i do everything for him and we have a great life now that I am remarried. But there is only so much a signle mom can do. A child needs to be loved by both parents all the time. And how do you know for sure he will really want to come back to you? He might find someone else. i would wait until you are married! It is also hard being a single mom adn dating a lot of guys do not accept the fact that you have a child from a differnt man. So dont do it. Even though it might seem right. Wait until you are both in the same place and ready to commit to the next step!
2006-07-31 15:02:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're going to have a baby, get married first. A child deserves a mother and a father. Don't have a baby with a man who won't make a real commitment to you and his child. A man with a baby should be a real husband and a real father (and a real man), and be there for his wife and child.
Also, you have no way of really knowing if you really will ever get back together with this guy. Sounds to me like he's using you. He certainly isn't respecting you!
2006-07-31 15:24:13 · answer #4 · answered by bob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it. But, it might take a little longer than 2 weeks. If it happens in those two weeks, then it was totally meant to be! You should figure out for yourself if you want to go through a pregnancy alone and raising a child alone until you two are finally together again. Also know that there are no definites in the world and you cannot know for sure that you will be together again.
2006-07-31 14:59:22 · answer #5 · answered by graybear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is the most beautiful feeling that one can have , it is an essence of life .At least u will have the baby who resembles the person whom u love is dosent matter if he comes back or not and if u dont have a baby YOU ARE a lonely person losing both the child and the father. Till he comes back u will have someone close to u to feel and hold and to depend upon . Yes the next thing is money and care if u have this go ahead and secure ur love and ur child . and i will think of u in my prayers today. Achild is best thing to have after ur husband or the love of ur live
TAKE CARE
2006-07-31 15:11:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait. Just go for it. If you want a baby, do it before time runs out. You might regret it later. I have a friend who married young and her relationship to that jerk went bad. He turned into a drug and alcohol abuser so she decided not to have kids with him. To make a long story short, after many years of struggling, she got divorced and re-married years later but had to have a hysterectomy shortly after. Her chances of having that baby were gone out the window. Now she is in her 50's, no children, and wished that she had a child to call her own even if it meant upbringing the child on her own. Good luck.
2006-07-31 15:01:23 · answer #7 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why make it hard for any future relationships? Why make it harder for yourself? Around the world working, with what kind of support for having a child? Why have to explain to another man why you have a child with this guy? You don't know if you two will ever be together really, so I say don't do it. Wait till you find a guy that loves you to death and have his children.
2006-07-31 15:00:56 · answer #8 · answered by wishiwereatthebeach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should instead address your own self esteem issues before you try to raise a child.
If you "know one day we will be together again" then you should feel secure to wait until then. Do you feel you deserve to have the father of you child be present, loving and supportive of BOTH of you? Do you feel that you would still be a worthwhile human being even if you never had a child? Do you feel that you would somehow "own" a part of this unattainable man if you had his child?
2006-07-31 15:01:51 · answer #9 · answered by feelgood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No....because it's stupid to have a baby that the father is not going to be in that baby's life....or provide financial support....and I can guarantee you cannot support a child on your own (just because of the question...anyone with an education would know this is not a WISE decision) without government asst which means the rest us will be supporting your baby....and I personally don't want to take care of your screaming brat!
*Again I reiterate, stupid people shouldn't not breed period!!*
2006-07-31 15:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋