Does tell your family and friends that your gay really help you for your future as a homosexual?
2006-07-31 07:55:00 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Has anything change since coming "out?"
2006-08-03 07:09:06 · update #1
it's actually been much better being out to my family and friends. I hated hiding who I was...and I only did because my ex was in the closet and forbid me from telling anyone as she didn't want to be "found out." dishonesty is what ended our relationship.
being in an open, honest relationship is usually the best for most.
2006-07-31 09:28:08 · answer #1 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That all depends on you - do want to live your life in the closet or not. Do want to be one person when you are with your family and str8 friends and another person when you are alone or with your gay friends. That can be stressful and depressing - fearing that if they find out they might not accept you.
For me, I found that those closest to me either already had it figured out or did not really care. It took a few people in my life some time to adjust to the news, but other than that, no one treated me any differently.
It is not as if I fly the rainbow flag to announce to everyone that I meet I am gay either. Some people know and some do not. I do not think it is necessary that everyone I meet, associate with, or work with knows - quite frankly it is not everyone business. If I am asked about it - I am honest and do not live in fear that I will be 'discovered'.
The only thing that coming out did in helping my future is I no longer have to feel like I am living two lives. I am me - like it or lump it!
2006-07-31 08:22:15 · answer #2 · answered by rp_iowa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally i think it is easier to tell people. But it totally depends on the situation. When people ask me if they should tell their families the first thing i ask is how dependent are you on your family? Do your parents still pay bills for you? Would you be able to pay them without their help? If not, i wouldn't do it. You should always expect the worst and hope for the best. You just never know how people will react, they will often suprise you! I have come out to my family, but my grandparents told me to my face that my girl friends are not allowed at the house! So, my girl friend of a year that i now live with is simply my roommate, that way my family can get to know her before i tell them and they will already like her, hopefully. Just think about it, and know what the consequences could be!
2006-07-31 09:01:08 · answer #3 · answered by texstatetechie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It helped my present. For some people, myself included, hiding that "one fact" ends up hiding a whole lot more. And then, you don't really feel like talking about anything anymore. My relationships with my parents, as well as my friends improved a lot. That having been said, I'm relatively lucky because I didn't have any negative reaction.
Overall, the other thing is that there are a lot of flat out lies propogated by the Right. Knowing that your brother's gay gives you someone to ask "so...is that true?"
2006-08-01 15:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been out since I was 14, my partner since he was 17 -- we are in our 30s now. It certainly did not hurt either of us. We didn't and don't push it at people, but we make no bones either -- and we don't hide. We just are, the same as straight people. I have a picture of us together on my desk at work, he has one at his office as well. We just live, just like straight people. I've found that ignoring those who think differently, rather aggressively, and confronting them forcefully if they try to spread rumors or start **** -- together with being popular (which is a function of caring about everyone else and treating them nice no matter how they treat you) cures any problems quickly.
On the other hand, if you are in a particularly intolerant area, or you think your family will kick you out -- I'd wait, go to college, and then tell friends at school --- telling noone in the family till I was on my own and didn't need them at all.
That presumes you are a teen, if I'm wrong, I apologize.
Regards,
Reyn
http://www.rebuff.org
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-07-31 08:07:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming out to your family does help you to live a more open and truthful life in the future because you don't have to hide anything about yourself, you can just be you.
About how to come out it is different for different people. I like humor but I kind of did the late night freak out "coming out" thing but it all turned out fine. The Human Rights Campaign has good info and help about coming out as bisexual, lesbian, or gay.
2006-07-31 08:08:32 · answer #6 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are on your own and paying your own bills - yeah. It hurts to live a double life. Coming clean with those close to you will help you with your peace of mind. If you are really friends with someone, you owe it to your self and them to tell the truth about your self. Chances are your friends and family already have you figured out. You'd be surprised.
I don't think it is necessary to put a neon sign on your house to announce this. It is not the business of an acquaintance or a co-worker that you barely know. Your sexuality is your business.
As for knew people that I meat I have this rule of thumb: When I get close to people, I tell them about myself. If all we are is acquaintences I leave my personal business to myself.
If you are not on your own hold off until you are. Unfortunately coming out to your family can have repercussions.
2006-07-31 09:44:37 · answer #7 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to deny being lesbian when my mom used to ask. Close people know what you are,no need to deny.Its your choice to come out or not, as for myself i did come out for family members, but not friends, even if most know that i live with a girl. Maybe they know that i'm lesbian, maybe they think that the girl is just my roomate. I don't really care though as long i'm happy. All that changed for me was that i moved out from my mom's home and to this relationship, so alls good!
2006-08-04 12:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course. It's who you are, and if people don't like it, then screw them. It would probably help your future as far as being honest with your family about who you are. Basically being gay isn't taboo anymore, and plenty of celebrities are "out". I think you should let people know who you really are. If they don't like you after they find out you're gay, they weren't real friends in the first place. :)
2006-07-31 08:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by belya2085 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For my future as a homosexual? You mean like if I were running for homo of the year, or hoping to be promoted to the job of head homo?
It may help me in my future as a PERSON to be honest with those who love me and care about me, rather than lying to them all the time. It would allow me to share some special moments in my life, and even a special partner (where or where is he?) with those who care for me. So yes, it will help me as a whole person to be honest with those people closest to me.
2006-07-31 07:59:21 · answer #10 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋