Do you think it should be put back in?
2006-07-31 07:37:39 · 19 answers · asked by Andy S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
LOL! Oh! Andy,
You just love to stir the pot. :) I love it! Okay, ladies, please no haters.
I left obey IN my vows, but my husband said it, too. They're just words. People take things way too seriously if you are getting upset about a word in your vows. Besides, how many people, including those who are getting upset here, actually live up to the vows they've taken?
Anyone here divorced? Hmmm? Anyone ever cheat? How about this one? Anyone, husband or wife, left the other when a catastrophic illness struck their partner for life? Don't feel bad if you ran out, it happens quite often. I know, I am terminally ill with a disease there is no cure for. I am on an Internet support group and hear it all too often, "He left me today.." or "I thought things were really good, she seemed to take it well...."
The first people to leave you are your friends, then your family and more than you could imagine, your spouse. Fortunately, I married my best friend and soulmate [2nd marriage for both] and along with Hospice nurses that come to take care of me, he does everything else.
Being with someone who's bedridden is extremely tough, too! I need help to get to my bathroom, that's with my walker and my husband. He has to carry my catheter bag and my oxygen hose so it doesn't trip me up with my walker.
He cooks every meal, snack, he will give me my bath when the CNA can't make it that day and measure my sugar levels three times a day, and prepares my insulin injections because I was recently diagnosed with diabetes. He dispenses my 20 plus pills each day and stays on top of reordering medicines.
When you're organs start to fail, it's like a domino effect on your other organs. I have SO many other things to do or dream I can do again than worry about some word in vows most people don't honor anyway.
One line a lot of people keep is the traditional, "I promise to love and cherish you in sickness and in health, for richer or poor, forsaking all others, til death us do part."
Somehow none of those oh so important words ever come to mind when I hear, "He left me today..." again.
So, lighten up people. It's just a word. It's traditional and it is what it is. I tell you I'll obey my husband til my last struggling breath. He obeys every request and even commands I shout out to him. And he loves me inspite of my outbursts or frustrations. He knows if it were the other way around, I'd be right there to obey his commands. I love him that much to do anything to have him one more day.
So, yeah, Andy, I guess you should keep it in.
Regards,
♥Raylene♥
2006-07-31 09:33:14 · answer #1 · answered by Raylene 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The word obey in wedding vows is old fashioned. The wife doesn't have to do her husbands bidding anymore. Men and women are equal partners in marriage, or at least should be.
2006-07-31 07:42:46 · answer #2 · answered by gentle giant 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some strange idea that women have that they are equal partners, and not property, or servants. The problem here, as far as I can see, is that women never should have been allowed to read, educating them at all is the first step down the slippery slope.
Should obey be put back in? Yes, and take away their shoes, and the right to vote, that'll fix everything.
2006-07-31 08:04:48 · answer #3 · answered by n_of49p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had "obey" taken out of the vows when I got married. I'm not a possession and would not have gotten married if I was not allowed to delete that word.
2006-07-31 07:41:03 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.NO!!!!! Do not put in OBEY. If you intend to take your Vows serous. You will not obey!!!! And, You would be breaking your Vows. If you don't want to break your Vows, leave it out. Love , Honor , Cherish, Is enough. I had mine taking out.. Before. I even knew others was doing it also. Take your Vows serous. It is a promise before God.
2006-07-31 07:54:21 · answer #5 · answered by Daris G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would be any woman in her right mind be willing to obey?
I saw weddings where the bride and groom went with the traditional vows (including the obey part), they are already divorced.
2006-07-31 07:42:29 · answer #6 · answered by OneLilithHidesAnother 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you look at the context that it is in the Bible, obey is not a bad thing. It outlines the rules for a wife. What people forget is that there are also rules for the husband. Which is to treat his wife and make decisions for the family as Christ did for the church. If people would look at it in this way, who wouldn't want their husband to make decisions like that - if that actually occurred, I wouldn't mind the obey part. If I had a husband that would actually die for my welfare - how could I not want to do what he wants me to do, and what he wants for me. So a long answer to your question is if I felt my husband to be would treat me this way, obey would be acceptable in my ceremony
2006-07-31 07:50:06 · answer #7 · answered by mlady_in_virginia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont have a problem with "obey".
Married 20+ years. The bible gives rules for both the husband and wife. Most seem to forget the husband has rules too!
2006-07-31 13:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by AccountableLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, for one thing, in many weddings only the WOMAN had to say she would obey her husband.
We took it out of our wedding vows, though my husband wanted it in, because I think honor, cherish and love cover it all. neither one of us are indentured servants who need to OBEY orders. We are still individual people, and the love, cherish and honor cover that we should work together, respect each other, etc. NO one tells me to obey, I am NOT dog.
2006-07-31 07:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell No! Guys never tend to obey when it comes to being faithful, loyal, take care of issues within the marriage, so why should females be held to trying to act right.
2006-07-31 07:41:47 · answer #10 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋