I posted like 3 weeks ago on how you can tell if your man is cheating and guess what I found out the truth. He did have an affair with this woman. now that I walked out on him he wants me back and I am so confused on what to do? How do you get thru this hard time? any advice? Is there anyone out there who has gone thru this and stayed with their husband?
2006-07-31 06:51:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you everyone for your advice so far. Eyematch if you wanna talk you can e-mail me too since we are in similar situations. We dont really have any money at all for marriage counseling.... i suppose there isnt marriage counseling for free? Well i am not going to make a decision anytime soon since I found all of this out last Thursday.
2006-07-31 07:19:00 · update #1
I met my husband when I was fifteen and married him when I was twenty and now I am 36. Five years back I found out that he was cheating on me. I had the impulse to leave him but didn't. Partially cuz of my kids. I thought I will not snatch my children's right to enjoy the company of their own biological father. I stayed. Remained numb for almost three years but somehow was not able to hate him. I gave him option to quit but he stayed. We r in the process of repairing the relationship without any counselling. But to keep myself sane I have joined my Masters in film making which is my field. I am a documentary filmmaker myself.I am paying more attention to myself then him. It is working. We both have a lot of space and I know he is not cheating. My suggestion is help urself cuz only u can do it. No counsellor or nobody can help you but you yourself. I had made him my god. Now I am trying to accept him as a very ordinary human being who happens to be my husband and father of my children. And I love him as a man now not as a god. And I believe men are prone to making mistakes. I am feeling better and hope u will too provided you succeed in shifting your focus from him to yourself.
Peace
2006-08-06 12:30:12 · answer #1 · answered by vindusingh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to get free marriage counselling through your Pastor or a Pastor look at a variety of ministries. My husband and I have survived as Husband & wife after infidelity. I simply know in my heart that he loved me. The children and my love for my husband and our long-term life together was more important to me than the fling. That was about fifteen years ago. I don't keep tabs on his every move no acquaintance. I can tell you that we are very comfortable and happily married and I do not regret my decision to remain with him. Our children are now grown with their own husbands. My husband is loving me better than ever. It feels so good to feel safe in a relationship and that is how I feel. Safe, secured and loved.
2006-07-31 08:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by victoria 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well last year my husband cheated on my and I stayed with him....and NOT EVEN an entire year later he has cheated again....Says he wants to be free to date, come and go when he likes and with whomever he likes. Just been gone for a bit over a week and is moving her in. My advice get counseling to see why he choose to cheat then see if repairable
2006-07-31 07:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by betina_scutt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he will want you back... If it was in his plans to break up with you he would have done it. But he chose to mess around with other women instead, while keeping you as well.
Take some time to reflect on your situation. If you choose to come back to him, there's a good chance you'll have to put up with it again in the future. My ex-husband and I split up after he had an affair, and he went to live with this woman... Now he says he's going to marry her - but he still goes out and sleeps with other women. It was very hard to go through the initial separation, one of the roughest experiences I've ever had to face - but now I feel blessed that I got out when I did. I think, in the long run you will be better off if you end it now.
2006-07-31 07:48:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes - currently there and working through it. My husband and I are doing marriage therapy and we are both doing independent counseling. We want to find out what went wrong and make sure that it never happens again. This is the hardest thing I have ever done but I know that it will be worth it because we will be happy again. Websites like http://www.survivinginfidelity.com helped me to get the support and answers that I needed. You will find that you are not alone in your struggles.
2006-07-31 07:01:26 · answer #5 · answered by eyematch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, there are lots of us, but it won't be the same with any one couple. What your tolerance is won't be the same as a person who stayed thru 31 yrs, before letting go, because it never stopped. Once guys get a taste of the outside its hard to stop they only use different techniques & lies to keep it going. So, make up your mind on wheather you can handle the possibility of it happening again or not, because it will.
2006-07-31 07:27:49 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you go back with him, if you forgive him, then you never ever bring up that he cheated on you ever again. Plain and simple. Do not throw it in his face, do not seek revenge using it as an excuse. Burying the hatchet means just that, burying it. It does not mean to redig it up every time there is an argument. Do not question him everytime he goes out. Basically, forget it ever happened. If you go back with him then you have no right to complain about it or drag it out all the time. Besides the relationship wont last long if you are constantly throwing it in his face. If you can not forget it, or feel the urge to yell about it and throw it in his face, then you should not be with him.
2006-07-31 07:11:48 · answer #7 · answered by trustnoone_ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go for counselling and see if you can trust him again. try with little things before you get back together with him . and he needs to understand that he has to earn your trust back and that could take a very long time depending on how forgiving you are.
2006-07-31 07:12:06 · answer #8 · answered by larissacory 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When My husband cheated on me, I divorced him. Simple as that. He had a record of cheating on his relationships, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. When he said he wouldn't do it again, I caught him trying to date My best friend. So, to hell with him and find someone better.
2006-07-31 06:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by Dark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this is the kind of marriage you want he will never be faithful and every time you will run back once you become strong enough to leave never become weak to go back the man cannot be trusted your choice just remember you chose this ;life style
2006-07-31 07:07:12 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋