Ok, my dad has been really disapointed in me for not wanting to play football. I am a gay 13 year old and i still have not told him. We have a really good relationship and he is the only friend i have in the house. What should i tell him as to why i dont want to play? And how do i eventually come out to him? BTW i dont want people to tell me how i can change and quote the bible and try to shoot me down, all i want is answers! PLZ!
2006-07-31 06:16:49 · 31 answers · asked by gezzdaman44 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
shut the hell up Zach!!!
2006-07-31 07:31:32 · update #1
shut the hell up Zach!!!
2006-07-31 07:31:35 · update #2
I hated sports when I was growing up...but I occasionally watch a baseball game...I have better things to do with my time...BTW the only reason I watch baseball is to root against the Angels to make my friend Mark cry!!!
2006-08-01 09:45:05 · answer #1 · answered by joy ride 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Knowing you Dad as well as you seem, how would he take the news? Maybe it is too soon to tell him? Or if you think he would try to understand you and take it well, just go for it. There are resources to coming out at the Human Rights Campaign, I'll put the link below.
But maybe at 13, are you really sure you're gay? Some guys do know that soon, some just don't like football and baseball and assume that makes them gay. As for the sports thing, find something else you want to do that keeps you from doing sports. Say, Dad, I REALLY want to be in the marching band, and I can't do that and football. I know I can be good at the tuba, but I don't think I'd be good at football anyway. I don't mean you have to play the tuba in the marching band, but you get the idea.
2006-07-31 08:06:35 · answer #2 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong about anything you like or don't like. That's something you can take with you all your life. Also, you're not too young to know that you're gay, that's a perfectly normal age to realize that. Just out of curiosity, do you not like football because you're gay? Because being gay doesn't mean you can't like sports. But for now, since you say you don't like football, we'll say you don't. Football is a boring sport anyway, it's mostly standing around waiting.
Here's what I'd say, something along these lines (sorry for making it sound so advice column-y, you could make it sound more like yourself): "Dad, I'm really happy we have such a great relationship, and I think of you as one of my best friends. The thing is, I really don't like playing football. I think there are other things I can be a lot better at, and I hope you'll be as proud of me doing those things as you would if I were really good at football."
That's it. You don't have to tell him you don't want to play football because you're gay, because that doesn't have anything to do with not wanting to play football. It's just that you don't like it. It's the same thing you'd do if you hated something someone kept cooking for you, or if you didn't like the clothes someone picked out for you. Tell them you appreciate them, just not the particular thing they're doing. Hope that helps.
2006-07-31 18:25:15 · answer #3 · answered by Will 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself, i am sure that they would rather you were happy than keeping this to yourself, I know if i had kids, then I would like to think they could tell me anything, I am sure they will be understanding. If you can't face it at the moment, maybe find another hobby and throw yourself into that to take up the extra time you would have had to play sports. I think liking sports or not has nothing to do with being gay anyway, just tell him it is not what you want to do with your spare time, although if you know for sure you are gay, then it is a conversation you will have to have at sometime, so the sooner you have it, the sooner you can start being yourself. Perhaps you can talk to your Mom? Hope this helps x
2006-07-31 06:25:21 · answer #4 · answered by clairehair21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not everyone likes sports, even the straight guys. Tell him that you dont like football. you could convince him that you like a sport thats not football, or just tell him that you dont like playing sports. If hes your father, he should understand and at least support you in whatever decisions you make in life, including being gay.
I would say that you are too young to call yourself gay. Lots of people have experiences with same sex people when they are young, but it does not make them gay. I would say you cant call yourself gay unless youve experienced a woman and decide that its not for you
wait on the coming out for a few years until you understand it better
2006-07-31 06:20:26 · answer #5 · answered by sexydp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are not going to tell you to change
I was always told that I had no curves and I should just be a boy, although I'm not one of those manly girls at all. I don't think it's wrong that you don't want to play sports explain to him that you have other interest like writing or something and you don't even have to come out to him right away. that takes time and I still haven't came out to my dad, just my mom. Someone else will have to help you with that. Just show him that you have other interest and remind him that not all people were bron for sports!
2006-07-31 06:19:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sports are a bonding thing for guys. Are there any other sports you are interested in? Or can you get him interested in something you are? I wouldn't come out to him yet. You are a little young and it can have problems with it. How does he feel abou gay issues? I'd start talking to him about stuff like that, slowly. Then tell him later on. Good luck!
2006-07-31 06:21:36 · answer #7 · answered by Mithrandir_black 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel you kid. my dad was spotsman of the year in high scholl and then joined the air force. he loved sports, i hated them (still do) try to find something thats not horrible for you swimming, tennis, track, whatever. if nothing interests you try other clubs, debate, science wahtever......honestly i wouldn't come out anytime soon, all the people who say come out no matter what are full of crap. parents do crazy things when kids come out, lock down, put them in a mental hospital , beat them. when the time is right you'll know it. i usually recommend being out of the house so you can escape if it gets too bad, but thats years away. just try to find some middlle ground where you have a common interest.
2006-08-02 01:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that coming out to your father would help things then I suggest to wait until your done with high school and you have a job.
As far as the sports thing just tell him that your not into sports, but at least try to find that middle ground when it comes to sports.
Just be honest . You never know unless you try. that goes for coming out too.
2006-07-31 10:10:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Playing sports will help you get into great shape and it will also give you the opportunity to meet guys who you may need to defend you someday. I would not discount sports altogether. You may need some strong allies and besides having a body that is in good shape will help you to find a good looking strong lover. I always like the look of the gym rats. LOL
2006-07-31 06:23:05 · answer #10 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i was a kid, my dad was a sports freak - had to watch every game (all sports) possible. he worked the evening shift, so the only time to do anything was the weekends (when most the sports were on back then). It was always "after the game". Well, after the game it was always too late to do whatever it was. Sports became my enemy and still remains that way today.
2006-08-02 19:29:03 · answer #11 · answered by watcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋