BIG Problem...please help?

Question

me and my bf have been going out for 1 year.....we have promised each other alot of things...want to marry each other, but lately he has been saying that his feelings have changed. He still loves me but not the same, he dosen't know if he does want to be with me.
Please help what should i do?? Is it to late for me to save out relationship??? or should i just accept the fact that after all we have gone trough and all we have done.......its over?????

Please help i need some conforting words!!!!

Im 19 and he is 23.........he has always been honest with me...so im guessing he is still being honest with me when he said he is not talking to someone else, he needs time and that we are going to work it out!!!! ........................

Answer 1

You are lucky to be finding this out now rather than later. Also he is to be commended for being honest. And that honesty is what makes my advice so hard to give to you. You really have no options at this point but to withdraw as best you can and learn to get over him. His honesty was the best thing for both of you because things would have become much worse if he tried to force feelings he did not have. You should move on.

Answer 2

He says, "His feeling have changed," right, first things first.............you should ask him how has feelings changed? And not only that but why have they changed? Chances are, he's met someone else, which is a good thing for you, I say good because, its only been a year and yes, you've helped each other through some times, maybe good times maybe bad times; a year of wasted time is a whole lot better than wasting five years. You know what I am saying. As bad as you may feel right now, it will get better, guys are like buses one comes about every fifteen minutes or so. Just take some time, air your head and then jump back into the dating pool. Easier said then done right, yeah I know but if his feelings have changed, they didn't just change over night something happened and chances are your relationship will never be the same again.
Good luck, and remember happiness is from within, make yourself happy.

Answer 3

This is a tough situation. My boyfriend and I went through that same scenario, actually many times. If you are both pretty young, which I'm kind of assuming you are, just give it time. Sometimes the best thing to do is take a break - if you both really miss each other then maybe give it another shot. Maybe talk to your boyfriend about why his feelings have changed. Does he feel like you're moving too fast? Sometimes guys suddenly get afraid of the whole lifetime commitment and marriage idea. Maybe express to him that marriage can wait until you are both ready and that right now you are just happy to be with him. If it's any consolation, my boyfriend and I have now been together 9 1/2 years and he's finally over the fear of marriage - we're planning a wedding now! Just don't try to hang on to something if you truly know it's over - I would rather be happy and single than unhappy and in a relationship (or be with someone who isn't happy).

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear about this situation. It sounds like you have invested a great deal into this relationship and it must hurt a great deal to see your boyfriend change his mind. I can't tell you exactly what to do, but you may want to keep 2 things in mind.

1. If he is telling you that he doesn't want to be with you.....most likely he doesn't want to be with you. Its a hard pill to swallow and its not easy to accept. You may feel like forcing the issue with your boyfriend and telling him that you need a definitive yes or no answer from him....is he in the relationship or is he out. While he may choose to leave the relationship, at least in that case you can have some closure, and begin to go through a grieving process and get on with your life.

2. If you feel like hanging on to this relationship, give yourself some time, maybe a few more weeks or months and see how things progress. Perhaps your boyfriend is just going through a phase or feeling unsure of himself. I would definitely tell your boyfriend that you do not intend to maintain the status quo forever and that at some point you expect him to sh*it or get off the pot.

I hope things work out, but even if they don't, there is still a life for you beyond this relationship. Take Care

Answer 5

You're jumping a head a little, aren't ya? Just because he's telling you that things have changed doesn't mean that he wants to break up or anything. Take it easy!!! People do change after time, it's life. Be glad that he is telling you how he feels now before you all go on any further. Some people never say anything, and that's why so many people are divorcing now days. Go slow! No rush to get married. You'll be fine, with or without this guy.

Answer 6

I don't know how long you have been together, or what you have gone through together or how old you are, but as a generic answer to your question....it is possible for peoples feelings to change over time. As you spend more time with someone you get to know more and more of their quirks and idiosynchracies. You should let him know how you feel and ask him what has changed. If it has something to do with your behavior in general maybe you could work on changing that if it is worth it to you in order to keep him. I personally don't think anyone has a right to expect to change someone. You should be with someone because you like who they are as they are. Over time, you will grow and change together. If you are not what he wants, I would suggest you find someone else that does want you the way you are. You will be much happier knowing you can be yourself and the guy loves you the way you are with no expectations that you have to be someone other than yourself. This is only my opinion.

Answer 7

This situation sounds similar to one I went threw recently.
me and my boyfriend had been together for over a year,
said he wanted to get married to me ect. but then he started acting funny, sit down and talk to your boyfriend and ask him where the two of you stand in terms of your relationship maybe you will find some answers that way.

If he is confused or says that he is not sure, or even if he says that he is not sure if he wants to be with you, I would not think just yet that it is over, maybe you should wait it out a little and see where things go. The reason why I say this is because my boyfriend had said the samethings to me, but sence we were also great friends we stil lkep ta relationship even though we were taking some time apart. Eventually we wound up rekindling the relationship we once had as if nothing ever happened. I think sometimes men just go threw little fases of not knowing what they want. Hopefully that is the case with your boyfriend if you still want to be with him. Good Luck

Answer 8

Awww, sadly once a person's feelings changed its hard to change it back. At least he was man enough t tell you before things went too far.
Sit down and talk to him. get everything sorted out and ask, how do you want everything to be. Because this is probably about something he doesn't like in this relationship. If you like his response go on from there. If you don't, maybe you two aren't good for either one.
Plus you seem like a nice girl, once the guys see you are single, they'll be all over you so you win both ways!

Answer 9

Sometimes relationships fizzle - this is because we are not who we really are, or generally are, when we first start seeing someone. Once we become comfortable, we act like we would if we were alone, and sometimes this will turn a person off.
I think that it is important that he was honest with you. If you two were forced to remain together, he might become unfaithful out of frustration and there would be lots more pain for you and for him.
I think you will be able to find someone who is good for you in the long term, but keep in mind that it is necessary to get to know someone entirely before you believe that a lifelong marriage is an option.
My advice to you is to not make promises to yourself in under a year of a close relationship. Good luck!

Answer 10

hey dear asker!
firstly a hug to you!!!! Don't feel bad, you were prudent in ur love maybe the fate deserted ur relationship. Never mind, love is like a bird ; just let it free and if it comes back to u it is urs, if it doesn't it never was yours.(I know the words are old but still hold good). Maybe u have a better person waiting somewhere in life with his heart full of true love for you. Talk it out 4 the last time wid ur guy and if things don't work out well, don't bother. God is great and so is love. Believe in God , in love and in this 16 year old friend of yours ( with ur due permission)