Is it possible to get custody of my son because my husband cheated during our marriage?

Question

My husband and I were together for three years and things have been bad since the beginning of the marriage. I have already filed for divorce and I just found out that since having filed my husband has a relatioship already with someone else. And I was wondering if it would be possible for me to gain sole custody of my son becuase of his actions. Like he has bad moral character, or a disregard for morals. We live in Kansas and i filed a no fault divorce, but because he is over seas I have to wait until he gets back he is in the military before we can procede with the divorce. Thanks for any information in advance.

Answer 1

Most divorces (unless it's written specifically into a prenuptial) are based on laws of the state; this can mean that in places like CA - which is a "no fault" state - you don't need a reason to divorce, while others have very specific rules on how and why a divorce can be granted. You will need to consult a good divorce/custody attorney regarding the laws specific to KS.

As for custody, if you can prove to the courts that your husband committed adultery IN FRONT of the child (i.e., he was having sex on the couch while the kid was sitting on the floor watching TV), then it could give moral grounds to grant you custody. Again, that will have to be something discussed with your attorney, and the court process.

FYI: A lot of custody matters are settled in a "Mediation" environment (mediators listen to the separating parents and why they feel they should each have custody, then that person makes a recommendation to the court which in turn the judge *usually* follows), so be VERY careful of what you say when you're being interviewed. Have a VERY good attorney and ask LOTS of questions of him or her - that's why they get paid the big bucks!

Answer 2

Yes morality could be a ground for custody. But what matters most is the overall welfare of the child and that would mean financial capacity and potential time spend to norture the child. Since he is in the military, most likely you will get the custody because military men do not have time for family affairs. If you live in the Philippines, you will always, as the mother, get legal custody over the child.

Answer 3

Here's the thing: You will not get custody based on the fact that your husband cheated because legally one thing has nothing to do with the other. You will however, likely get custody anyway based on your gender, because there is a tendency to award primary custody to mothers unless there is a compelling reason not to. His moral character, while maybe an issue in the divorce proceeding, will likely not be a factor in determining custody. You will probably have a shared custody arrangement with liberal visitation rights granted to your husband upon his return.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, a new relationship does not constitute you getting sole custody. The bright side is that with him being in the military it is far less likely that a judge would grant it to him due to always being shipped out at a moments notice. Your son is still young and any judge will see that he needs to be with you, especially due to the instability with dad's career. Shared parenting (joint custody) wouldn't work well either due to him being gone all the time. Just do all you can to take care of your son while he is gone and the judge will see that you are a good mom and can take care of him.

Answer 5

So, because your feelings are hurt and you feel disregarded by your husband (who admittedly did wrong) you want to deny your soon to be ex, his child indefinitely?

Just because your marraige didnt work out doesnt mean that you should deny your child the presence of his father or vice-versa. Yes, its wrong for your husband to cheat, but why does that make him a poor father, because he isnt a good husband?

That seems immoral to me. But in answer to your question, no that doesnt normally have any bearing on custody.

Answer 6

I do know that in Minnesota you can not gain full custody of a child because of a spouse not being faithful in a marriage. Apparently they passed that law not long ago. I feel for you, I honestly do!! No one deserves to go through that at all!! If you need to talk to someone email me at [e-mail]. I know it's sometimes nice to talk to someone that's on the outside looking/hearing in! Hang in there, it will get better!

Answer 7

go to Kansas court house and get full Custody of your son asap. before he gets it first.Don't wait until he gets back from military take care of it right now asap.