Help husband got caught cheating.Now everything that I do he thinks IM cheating.I CAN GO TO CHECK THE MAIL AND HE THINKS IM TALKING TO SOMEONE.WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM.I FORGAVE HIM HOW DO WE MOVE ON.
2006-07-31 05:27:46 · 33 answers · asked by greyeyebeauty81 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if anything you should be the accusing one. if he cant deal with the fact that HE cheated on you, then there are problems.
I could never forgive anyone for cheating, because once you lose trust, then you can never fully gain it back, no matter what anyone says
Dont let him accuse you of something you didnt do and wouldnt. tear his a.s.s apart about it because ive seen it happen before.
Someone who cheats on you can never fully love you anyway, because anyone who would cheat does not have the proper level of respect for love.
sorry but i would say divorce him
2006-07-31 05:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by sexydp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard I know. It may be that you both may never really move on from this point. When a man is caught cheating and is forgiven for it, he automatically thinks that you will do the same to get back at him or even. He will know that he did it and now that you are still together that there is a chance you could do the same since he has. His problem is that he knows he did something he shouldnt have and is afraid that you may want revenge or get back at him and do it yourself. I am sure that no matter how many times you tell him that there is nothing going on and he needs to stop with his guilty ways, he may not.
2006-07-31 05:32:53 · answer #2 · answered by littlemama025 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there and done that, for 1 it's him that has the problem and not you. He's insecure, if you had done him that way youd proably think he was doing the same.My experience is that things can get better only if he's activly proving to you that he has changed, but things will never be the same, when someone cheats on you you might forgive but you never forget!! You have to way the goods and the bads. There's 2 many STD's out there for you to put yourself at risk, him continueing to question you leads me to believe that he's continueing to do the same ole dirty thing
2006-07-31 05:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by buissb4plsr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like right now you're the only willing one in the relationship. You can't make him change his trust. So moving on is completely up to him.
You can however help him...
Do your best to ignore his accusations as if he is not even standing there (within reason).
You might have better luck finding out why he is so insecure, (don't ask him directly"Why are you so insecure?") Try to make him feel better about himself. Write him a greeting card for something stupid - like thanking him for taking out the trash. Go to a museum or park together but don't talk about anything be together and listen to him.
Take him to counceling.
Keep in mind that if you're meant to be together you'll make it through this too.
2006-07-31 05:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by John G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure he's faithful now? Many times cheaters throw the focus of behavior and play the jealousy card to deflect from what they are doing. Be strong and don't allow him to make you question yourself that's a negative road full of abusive potholes you don't want to go down. Nothing good can come of it if basic trust is lost. Total honestsy and rebuilding of trust can be helped by counselling and attack the underlying issues as well, good luck.
2006-07-31 05:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is lousy..he is accusing you of something he himself did..where does he get off thinking he can do that... i would just tell him you got this backwards you are the one that cheated on me i did not cheat on you... and it is going to be hard to get over this especially since he is doing you the way he is..i would just try and talk to him especially if you still love him.. you must to have forgiven him... i had lack of trust with my husband when he did this to me.. and i could not get over it because he just kept flirting with other women and i was not allowed to even talk to a man.. he was abusive too so i wasted 23 years in that marriage..if things do not settle down maybe you both should see where you are and how he feels about you and how you feel about him....also it is not much a marriage if there is not any trust in it anymore.. think about this...
2006-07-31 05:34:48 · answer #6 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is waiting for the payback. Tell him straight up that you are not, have not and don't plan to cheat, but if he keeps up his jealousness he will drive you to it. You have to be straight forward and brunt. I went through the same thing with my ex and I told him straight up that I could never be like him, but I would gladly get a divorce and do it, then live with his accusations from his own guilt!
2006-07-31 05:31:47 · answer #7 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's projecting his guilt onto you because he isn't man enough to deal with what he's done! I'm guessing he is still seeing someone else! This is just a manipulation on his part to force you to feel bad and not focus so much on him. By forgiving him, you are enableing him to act this way. I'm not sure how to tell you to move on, I never was able to and walked away!
2006-07-31 05:51:49 · answer #8 · answered by Dani California 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From personal experience, I would be willing to bet that he is still cheating. Most people when cheating try to accuse the other of doing it. Make themselves sound self rightous. Good luck, but you may have to consider taking the walk!!!!!!!
2006-07-31 05:37:19 · answer #9 · answered by Michael K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you, once a cheater all ways a cheater. AND he has the NERVE to question YOU if you are talking to someone.... Wake up girl friend, the road ahead isn't looking to good, get out, you would be better off with out him, you don't need someone in your life telling you what you can and can't doyou are no longer a little girl. Please wake up !!!!
2006-07-31 05:34:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋