We're going on a boating trip to learn how to lobster or something. We really don't want to go and would like to make the people who brought us to it feel sorry for bringing us in the first place. How do we annoy the tour guide?
2006-07-31 05:17:09 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel ➔ United States ➔ Other - United States
Is it the tour guides fault, or someone elses fault your there? Make sure your picking on correct person. Have someone get sea sick..(may happen for real)...
cry when they pull lobsters out; apologize for taking them from their families.
Coninuously ask if you can have turn driving the boat.
Bring condoms along and set them on seats for people to discover.
Yank off your sock and make a sock puppet who mimics/repeats everything tour guide says.
Ask for someone hair, put it on lobster and start doing a voodoo chant.
Bring suction dart gun to attack lobsters with.
Pick up a lobster and tell it to 'sic em" at girls you know will scream.
When finished chewing gum stick it on lobsters back.
Ask if you can spray paint the lobsters to make them prettier.
If your sitting at benches reach under and grab peoples ankles, point to others not involved when they look for culprit.
Sing nursery rhymes using word lobster instead of item in original rhyme. Sing this too lobsters "Lobter lobster turn around, lobster lobster touch the ground."
Bring doll or pet clothes to dress lobsters.
Ask if your allowed to squich lobsters with hammer so you can see their insides....
Tell people that the lobsters caught are members of Al Queada and you must take them for interrogation before they start a Jihad.
Giggle whenever the tour guide gives serious information. Giggle uncontrollably if asked to stop.
Do a burial at sea with a lobster, give full military honors including salute and dart gun send off.
When asked why you are doing all this say, I'm drunk, no I'm possessed, no I'm possessed by a drunk demon...ah ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
Offer the lobsters sip of your Coke.
Find out if temporary tatoos work on lobsters. Offer temp tats to everyone on board.
PUt lobster against wall and do strip search, put each other on wall and pad each other down.
Decide which lobster was great Uncle Murrey in it's past life, try to save it, offer to take it home, give it the respect it deserves.
Good luck! Hope you have fun and don't really get sea sick!
2006-07-31 05:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by chieko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha cute question... hmmm
1. start of with playing the bugle as a wake up call really early say abt 3 am and say that u were just practicing.
2. u cud probabaly mix salt in the tour guides glass of water or any other drink and tell him that u wanted to make sure he lost no salts from his body when u went out boating or whatever outdoor activity
3.prbably fake being sick im sure u can do that.. to make it worse pretend that ur choking after eating the terrible food the guide gave u.
4.make sure u make a mess of the instructions given to u... dont try to do something wild and make it so obvious, but u can pretend to misinterpret whatever ur told.. for instance if he asks u to handle the oar, u handle the sail and pretend like thats what u think it is..
5.pretend u have to pee ever so often...
thats all i can think of... i hope it works.
2006-07-31 05:34:25 · answer #2 · answered by greenprincess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try theis idias:
ask what gender they are
pretend you are R2-D2
Annoyong things to say
Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have you ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man next to me!
I puked on the last person who flew next to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would you look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator.
Would you hold this messy kleenex for me?
Wanna see my tonsils? I keep them in a jar.
I haven't changed my underwear in over two weeks! How about you?
The doctors say that my eighth personality is the least dangerous.
Wow, look at that little boy in the third row!
Can you believe they only gave me three years for killing my own sister?!
Hey, does your urine ever turn blue?
I get a proctological exam once a week, whether I need it or not!
This cramped fuselage reminds me of solitary.
Oh damn, my diaper's wet again!
If I go unconscious just stick your finger down my throat - that'll wake me up.
Wanna buy a gerbil?
Boy, that business at Waco was a mess - I got outa there right behind the Savior David!
Ya know, since I moved to West Hollywood my gerbil business has really taken off.
Wow, they could charge for that cavity search they gave me at the border!
I've just been treated for tapeworms.
Don Knotts is my favorite actor!
I work for the city of San Gabriel and I drive a garbage truck.
The pilot and I were in the same drug rehab clinic - he was doing much better when I left a couple days ago.
Did I tell you Charles Manson's my uncle?
I collect aluminum foil.
Ya know, these days a man can't hang out with a seven year old boy without being ridiculed by his peers!
I work in a landfill.
I remember, not too long ago, when a man could work hard clubbing baby seals all day long and then go home and have a tall, cold one with a clear conscience.
I have every album the Bee Gees ever recorded!
I work on a Japanese whaling ship.
We're planning on leaving our bodies and meeting with the mother ship next Tuesday -- wanna come?
2006-07-31 15:14:50 · answer #3 · answered by bugzaper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an essay that will help you intently. It is called "An Essay on the Art of Ingeniously Tormenting" by Jane Collier. It is amazing. It goes into details on things like tormenting people for just a quick instance, and tormenting people for the rest of their lives. For example, she say that if you really wish to torment your kids, do not punish them for any reason. Let them do anything they want. And that way, when they enter real society they will not be able to be successful and will suffer till the day they die.
2006-07-31 05:26:12 · answer #4 · answered by Omega_Red9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interrupt their tour with stupid a$$ questions; make fart noises then compare & analyze the smell (same for belches); ask him the same question that he just answered (example: "To kill a lobster, you stab him behind the head...." then you ask, "so how do you kill a lobster?"); stand RIGHT behind him the WHOLE time breathing down his neck (my boss does it to us & we HATE it!); talk about disgusting stuff like blood, guts, & vomit. That should do it!
2006-07-31 05:48:50 · answer #5 · answered by WhatheHell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep making stupid jokes of everything he says ,while he's trying to explain in his tour guide mannerisms ,he will think of you guys as jerks , that will learn em.....
2006-07-31 05:21:44 · answer #6 · answered by stargazer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jump off the boat with heavy weights on. Then you won't annoy anybody, anymore!
2006-07-31 05:21:40 · answer #7 · answered by Wounded duckmate 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Constantly scratch inappropriatly. And interrupt constantly w/ very unintelligent off subject things. But why go if you really don’t want to?
2006-07-31 05:56:59 · answer #8 · answered by Little bitty 1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make up stories about Monkey Jones and tell everyone about this character named Monkey Jones. Be really creative and come up with some good lines.
Keep talking about Monkey Jones to them like, "Monkey Jones said.." or "Monkey Jones did (this or that)"
Eh, that's my .02.
2006-07-31 05:24:27 · answer #9 · answered by Sick Puppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its as easy as clinchin a flower out of a thousands of them.just dont get there where u were called?
2006-07-31 05:22:51 · answer #10 · answered by cooldude 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋