His mother has head lice and our daughter got it. I went out of my way to make him happy on his birthday and he was just kinda rude to me. I didnt want to go over to his mothers until I knew she had done her head. I covered me and my daughter in tea tree oil and went over there after being told by his brother that mom wasnt there so I could do some laundry and just hope when she got home that she had finally done her head. She show's up and she hasnt so I say I have to go home and do me and my daughters head again it's 9pm and we have to go to daycare and work tomorrow. She is all dramatic and crying about all sorts of stuff as always and gives a list of excuses why she hasnt been able to do her head in 2months! I tell her its no big deal but we cant have headlice so I must go do our heads. My husband then gives me this death look and doesnt even say bye to me when I leave. I am upset about being treated this way talking to him doesnt work his mother is a master manipulator.
2006-07-31 05:08:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
This has to be taken care of.
Who is taking care of his mother?
You also need to take care of his hair, wash all the bedding, clean the upholstery. Do all this while he is home. Maybe when he sees all this activity, he'll get the message that this is not a small deal. Be sure to tell him, in a nice way, that you will have to use the louse shampoo on him every time he visits his mother.
If nothing happens soon, I would either tell the school nurse where you got the lice, or make an anonymous call to the Health Dept.
2006-07-31 05:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by Nosy Parker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, educate your husband about head lice, almost everyone has had to do what you are doing. If she wont treat her own hair, tell your husband to do it because he will probably need it too. I think that if your mother-in-law wants to see her granddaughter she would take care of the problem. If your husband does not understand your point of view, or if he blames you, tell him to get over it and if you all do your hair at the same time, no problem then.
2006-07-31 05:14:10 · answer #2 · answered by betterbegood_to_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dr Laura's attitude toward mother-in-laws may be the right tact at this point. "Hon it's her or me" Lay down the law. The manipulator MIL needs to be told by her son to back off.
The wife, husband MIL is not a relationship based on equality between husband and wife, the MIL throws the relationship out of balance. If he's been a momma's boy all his life he needs to grow up.
2006-07-31 05:37:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand up to him, and let him know you are looking out for the best interest of your kids. If he doesn't understand it, then he's the immature baby with the problem, not you, and in that case, put his childish behavior at the bottom of your list of concerns and instead focus on the well-being of your children. They come first, period.
When he gives you a cold look, turn the other way, shrug your shoulders and say, "Oh well, that's too bad you feel that way."
2006-07-31 05:18:05 · answer #4 · answered by jeffcogs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady... Over head-lice. I would not only scream, rant and rave and make twice the production his mother ever could or would... I would forbid her to see her grandchild until she gets it cleared up and tell my husband to go piss up a rope for being stupid and one sided and taking mommies side over his own wife and daughter. Screw him!
But you know what? I also think that YOU are wrong for going over their to do laundry. Ewww gross and don't!
2006-07-31 05:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two months eh? You shouldn't even be in that house. Those eggs are going to be in everything, curtains, sofa, chairs, bedding.
Frankly I would tell your husband. "Fine honey, next time the school sends our daughter home because she has lice, YOU take care of it".
But that is just me.
-Dio
2006-07-31 05:14:11 · answer #6 · answered by diogenese19348 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NICHD has been studying the separation of children from their mothers for decades. What they've learned is that if a child enters day care before age 3, and for most kids, before age 5, they are seriously damaged by this. First, the attachment between mom and child is damaged, the dad's approval of the child is damaged, the child's IQ is damaged, the child's social skills are damaged. The child is at great risk for depression and anxiety.
And, guess what - these results hold true even if daddy is the caregiver, if a full-time live-in nanny is provided, or if the day care is of the highest quality.
Why? Human infants evolved to need their mother's arms and mother's milk to grow optimally. Separating from mom floods a baby's brain with stress hormones, impairing the child's ability to learn and to regulate its emotions.
In addition, and perhaps most critically, the baby is currently forming his view of the world. Is the world reliable, a safe place, can i trust? Now picture him in day care, screaming for mommy (oh, they'll lie and say he doesn't) and you never come. What does he learn about you and about life? What does he learn about his effectiveness to get his needs met? What does he learn about what you think of his needs for love and affection?
Do you really want to teach your poor dear baby all those things? Last point, day care is far harder on boys than girls. Please don't do this to your child. He didn't ask to be born; he desparately doesn't want to grow up in an institution with a mommy who schedules in a few 'quality' minutes for him every day.
What you will miss by abandoning him to day care is immeasurable. My friends and I who actually raised our babies are always amazed by how totally detached from their kids our working friends became, how utterly unaware of children's needs and rythyms they became.
Day care is a lousy way to grow up. Up and Out in the rain, out in the freezing, out in the sweltering, never with mommy to share excitement, loyalties to the primary caregiver (who must become 'mommy' if she's gonna do a good job.) Why would you do this to your kid?
Source(s):
http://www.geocities.com/wellesley/garde... = lots of info on harms of day care
The Irreducible Needs of Children, a book by Brazleton
http://www.naturalchild.org wonderful site on kids' true needs
2006-08-03 08:24:35 · answer #7 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just cut out the drama, tell the wench that you refuse to visit any further til she cleans up her act. And tell your husband he should go over and help clean her up personally since he cares more about mama than you or your daughter
2006-07-31 05:13:41 · answer #8 · answered by southforty1961 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like Mother and son have about the same mentality. do what you have to do, tell your daughter to do as you say, or else she will end up like her father and grandmother
2006-07-31 05:15:34 · answer #9 · answered by wellaem 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should pray to God to bring peace and understanding. After that you can talk to your husband and explain things to him. Good luck dear
2006-07-31 05:16:46 · answer #10 · answered by vicky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋