funniest joke earns 10 points?

Answer 1

Did you hear about the gay midget?
He came out of the cupboard.

What'd the fish say when it swam into the wall?
Dam

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says "You gotta be joking"

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar. The priest says, "Hey did you hear the one about us?"

Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducks.

A sandwhich walks into a bar, the bartender says "sorry we don't serve food here."

A man walks into a bar and sits down. At the end of the bar there's a foot tall man playing a piano. The man asks the bartender, "Hey, what's with the piano player?" The bartender tells him, "I found this magic lamp and when I rubbed it a genie came out and he offered me a wish." The man doesn't believe him so the bartender offers to show him but says, "Be careful, the genie is a little old and his hearing ain't so good." So the man rubs the lamp and sure enough the genie pops out. So the man figures, hey why not. "Give me a million bucks." Poof all of a sudden the bar is filled with ducks from wall to wall floor to ceiling. the man shouts at the bartender, "What the heck is all this?" The barttender replies, " Hey do you think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"

This penguin is driving down the road when all of a sudden his car just dies. So he gets out his penguin phone and calls a tow truck. They take the car to a mechanic and the mechanic tells teh penguin it'll be a little while so he should go take a walk around. So the penguin walks around until he sees an ice cream shop. Now everybody knows penguins love ice cream and our little friend is no exception. So he goes and orders the biggest things on the menu and proceeds to dig in. Unfortunately penguins don't have the best table manners and are by nature messy eaters so by the time he was finished he was covered in ice cream. But The mechanic called him and said he could come and get his car so the penguin waddled on back. when he gets there, the mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No it's just a little ice cream."

There's these two guys out golfing. They get to the ninth hole and they see these two women up ahead. The one guy says, "Hey they look pretty good I think I'm gonna go intorduce myself real fast." So he takes the cart and drives off. He gets halfway and does a fast U-turn and comes flying back. His friend asks, "What were they that ugly?" The man says, " No that's my wife and my mistress playing together." The friend says, "Well I gotta see this." So he takes the cart and starts heading their way. He gets halfway and comes flying back and says, "Heh, small world."

Answer 2

Three guys that have recently died are standing in front of Jesus. Jesus asks them, "Did y'all love your wives?" The men says, "Yes, we did". Jesus says, "I will give you car to drive around in the after life based on how loyal you were to your wives." Jesus gives them their vehicles and they are on their way. The second man stops when he see the first guy broken down on the side of the road. The second guy asks if he can help. The first guy says, "No, Jesus gave me a Pinto, there's not much that can be done. I deserve it though. At least you got a Camaro so you are in pretty good shape." The second guy says, "Yeah, I cheated on my wife once, but I quickly realised it was wrong and stopped. Well I'll see you later." The second man continues on his way when he see the third guy pulled over in his Jaguar, crying. "What's wrong?", he asks. "You must have been a good husband, that other guy got stuck with a Pinto." The third guy says, "I'm not crying about what car I got. I just saw my wife." The second guy says, "That's great!" The third guy says, "... she was riding a unicycle."

Answer 3

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"








Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some ******’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more ******’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the ******’ French toast."



or


there are army men going to confession. the army men arent that bright and forget to mention a few words in their sentences. and the first guy comes up to tell his sins. he says. father, i ****** squirrel, he says oh my. okay. go in peace and say a hail mary. the next guy comes up and says, father i ****** squirrel. he says okay leave and say a hail mary, the next guy comes and says fater, i ****** squirrel, so the father gets up and says. everyone who has ****** a squirrel stand to my right and everyone who didnt stand to the left. everyone goes the the right except one person. the father says. see everyone this is who you sshould be looking up to! son, what is your name. he replied "squirrrel"



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG!!!!
hahahahh!

Answer 4

Unfortunately, I can't tell it here... I think this website is run by communists that do not allow freedom of speech and visited by intolerant little twits that report everything you say. It was funny though and it would have won!

Answer 5

A straight guy walks into a gay bar, looks around and says, "Whoops, I'm in the wrong joke!"

Answer 6

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. Bartender looks up, says "Hey pirate, did you know you've got a steering wheel attached to your crotch?" Pirate says, "arrr, it's drivin' me nuts."

Answer 7

What do a brick and a fat white woman have in common?

Sooner or later they will both be laid by a Mexican.

Answer 8

why did the chicken push the cat into the water?

because every cock enjoys a wet pussy.

Answer 9

YO MOMMA SO OLD HER PERIOD IS THE RED SEA AND HER BREST MILK IS NOW BABY FORMULA ALL POWDERY

Answer 10

peanut butter