I am a lesbian but my brother doesn't know, although almost everybody knows my mother thinks it's too early for him (he's 14) to find out. My grandfather is gay as well and my brother already knows and excepts that.
The problem is we talk about gayness all the time and I think he wants to tell me that he thinks about other guys and stuff because he's always bringing it up.
The other day he says 'guess whos gay!' 'Lance' I sayed yeah I know that why. He was like 'well oh' I then asked if he thought he was cute. Now I'm afraid if he feels like he's pushed in a courner because he keep denying. Although he could not be gay I just don't know if I should come out to him against my mothers wishes because it may make things a lot easier for him than they were for me. Anyone have any ideas or advise or have you heard something like this before. HELP PLEASE!
2006-07-31 04:57:25 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yes, I think you should "come out" to your brother as a lesbian (or bisexual, whichever you are) because it could help him talk to you more openly and he is old enough to understand. A bond between siblings in very strong. To be truthful and open to each other about your lifes and feelings is important and good for that sibling bond. It would have been helpful to me if my family member (who I know now is a lesbian) had told me when I was wondering then we could have talked about it openly and it would have helped me not feel so alone. Tell him.
2006-07-31 05:03:20 · answer #1 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tough spot to be in. 14 is NOT too young to know, but he is your mother's son, and you kind of have to respect her wishes as well.
Maybe talking more with her, in a calm way, will do the trick? Ask her at what age she does think he'd be old enough? How old were you when you came out to her? She may sense that he is gay, and is trying to prevent losing another child to the "dark side." Let her know you are okay, even though you are lesbian, and that your brother needs to know that you are okay too, because I'm sure at this point he's wondering about the degree of privacy or secrecy he senses in your life.
2006-07-31 12:18:10 · answer #2 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i see what you mean about the simular pickle. lol. not quiet sure how to answer this one. mabye just bring your girlfriend over as a friend. dont do anything in front of him. make it to where he thinks she is afriend. if you two stay together long enough or even if you go through a few "friends" he will slowly piece the puzzle together for himself and it might be easier for him that way. although at 14 if he is talking about guys then mabye he wants to tell you that he is too. after all i am a twin and he is gay. it is my half brother that i want to tell. but i dont want to out my twin brother
2006-08-01 23:35:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mother is being an idiot. Numerous studies have shown that the sooner you tell a kid that someone is gay, the easier time they have with it. Why does your mom want to make things hard for your little bro? Does she not like him?
And it is not her call. It is between you and your brother. I think you are right on.
2006-08-01 15:42:20 · answer #4 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! im not trying to be mean, but it sounds like u guys are one gay happy family! well thats cool! i think u should tell ur brother u lesbian, it will make him think about his own sexuallity and maybe feel comfortable about coming out and being gay! well that is if he is gay! but if he isnt then its still a good thing for u to tell him ur a lesbian, u guys could check out girls together! i know that would be cool for me if one of my cousins were lesbian or something! i like lesbians, their cool! i dont think its to cool for guys to be gay! thats just my opinion! but i have nothing against gay people! i wish i had some lesbian friends! well anyway, good luck!
2006-07-31 19:02:12 · answer #5 · answered by chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try explaining to your mother what you said here. She may change her mind. Or if you still feel it needs to be done, tell him but ask him not talk about it with your mother. It isn't good to hide things like that, but you are more side stepping the truth. She knows you are lesbian, and seems OK with it. Good luck.
2006-07-31 12:02:46 · answer #6 · answered by Mithrandir_black 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell him...if you love each other that won't be any problem, and just maybe, remember that between brothers there are no secrets, he probably already know that your are a lesbian, and probably he brings stuff to make you feel comfortable and maybe he is trying to tell you already that is OK and approves it,,,,, so don't loose any more time, and don't push him, IF he's gay he will find the time and moment to tell you.....
2006-07-31 12:35:08 · answer #7 · answered by snorlax72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy in a somewhat similar situation. Talk to your mom about why your brother isn't supposed to know. It's probably a bad idea to just go ahead and tell him against her wishes; try to explain to her that A) there's no reason for a child of any age to be lied to for no reason and B) (if she's cool) you might tell her your concerns about him, and explain that it might be good for him to be able to talk to you about it.
That having been said, please don't try to push him out; let it happen on his time.
2006-08-01 23:05:40 · answer #8 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know that you are there for him no matter what sexuality he is...Sounds like he's having a hard time with either his being gay or your being gay..It's time the 2 of you talked...he's not stupid..he knows something is up.
2006-07-31 12:19:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's your brother, and deserves to know. If he already knows about your grandfather, he should be able to handle it. Talk to your mother before you tell him though.
2006-07-31 12:23:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋