so, ok. there is me and this guy... we met 6 months ago and i did fell in love then. but i found out many things about his love life, that were a big "wow". i found out i should never be his girlfriend. just because i want to stay away from a broken-heart... but i can't get away from him. he can't get away from me. situation is clear for both of us. we enjoy the time when we meet, but he needs more distance than me. i fall in love every time i see him. my mind tells me "no". my heart can't wait to see him again. then, i wait 2 or 3 weeks until he feels it necessary to meet again. nice guy, hm? loves to keep me on my feet - he loves to know i'm still into him... i know he appreciates me. but how do i make him more respectful? like.. we have a meeting and he just seems to forget and cancels in the last minute. i do know why.. but is there a way to make him realize i am a person and not just an object? a girl to call if he's bored?? i am sad now. we just talked. he called.
2006-07-31 04:39:06 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he's so sweet. but seems not to know what a big big egoist he is... i like him still. but need to see him much more... i hate argueing. should i tell him enough is enough? he told me he doesn't want to loose me. i'm respectuful + give him space. and i give him love + adoration. i always try to be rational, but my heart speaks such a different language!! i speak as if things are ok. but my heart is bruised. i want to leave him, and yet i want to see him every minute. he seems to be blind..... (help - i want to be respected - and i want to be around him more often) thank you........
me :)
2006-07-31 04:43:13 · update #1
RIGHT NOW i feel disillusioned and loosing hope. sad. he kind of suggested (just a hint) we could meet - but i was too tired to take the hint. i'm just feeling sad and helpless and lost any enthousiasm for now. how to make him realise? how to make him realise that i have a heart? how to make him stop bruising this heart? thank you..
2006-07-31 04:52:11 · update #2
Wow, have I ever been here!
To make a long story short I met this guy in spring of 2003. There was an instant connection, some would say he and I were soulmates, just by the connection that we had. We dated for a very short time (about a month and a half). He dumped me the week of prom. Then he would get back in touch every once in a while (about every 3 or 5 months) and talk and tell me how great I was and what a fool he was for letting me go and how maybe we should give it one more shot. He'll talk like this for a few days to a month and then drop from view again. He once even went so far as to tell me that he bought me a ring though he never actually proposed. About 4 months after he told me that he got married to someone else. I might add that he still gets in touch with me now and then, despite his wife and my boyfriend. He still says the same things to me (about how good i was to him ... etc.. etc.. etc..). Up until I met my current boyfriend and he got married he was a sort of 'fail - safe' for me. When anything went wrong in a relationship, I looked him up. He was my strongest weakness so to speak.
From him I learned several things about relationships.
First being YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE. He drank and smoked and partied. This wan't my scene. He hid it from me to make me think he had changed, but he never stopped doing it. The only reason someone changes when they're in a relationship is because they respect the other person enough to want to be what that person wants.
YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU. By this I mean that if you allow someone to treat you a certin way they won't stop because they think it's alright. He might think you enjoy being kept on your feet or being treated like an object. And yes, there are women that like that. I personally am not one of them. I would not be tolerating such sh*t.
If you fall in love every time you see someone it's not love IT'S LUST. Lets face it. We all have our weaknesses. The guy i was talking about had a punky attitude, longish hair, crystal blue eyes, a couple great tattoos and looked great in a pair of snug jeans. Everyone has some little hang up. Where if they see someone who falls into that category they're like 'I want that!!'
YOU CANNOT BASE A RELATIONSHIP ON LUST. Relationships have to be based on a mutual respect, trust and honesty. You don't have any of that going here.
My advice is simple. Get out of this. Even if this guy seems like he's your soulmate, love has to be as much a feeling as a logical decision. I'm currently with a wonderful man, and so far as I know my ex is still married (he hasn't contacted me for about 2 months.) Everything works out, even if you think it won't. Listen to your head on this one.
2006-07-31 05:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by nobodysangel_nobodysfool 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this, but if hes only seeing you every 2-3 weeks, he's almost definately fooling around with at least one, if not more women. He will only see you if he's seen a little bit too much of his hoochies. I've known someone with a relationship just like this, and it turned out very abusive in the end.
Best advice I can give you: Don't see him anymore.
2006-07-31 04:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just put a stop to it and occupy yourself with more stuff to take your mind off him. It's better to deal with it now than to deal with it later because it may get out of hand. I was in the same exact situation a month ago! I know...it's hard. but you gotta do it.
2006-07-31 04:45:22 · answer #3 · answered by Mz Bee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen... stay away from broken heart and he will come after you when he has resolved his issues - if he wants to.
Till then, you obviously need a break!!!!!
2006-07-31 05:01:29 · answer #4 · answered by Hibernating Ladybird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋