Guys do you even care that when you look at porn or live webcam's of girls that your hurting your signifacant other? I mean do you really care, do you feel bad that it makes the other person feel like he or she is just not enough? My husband and I have sex all the time and we have two kids, we role play, we send each other naughty emails whatever. Why does he want to look at other girls? I'm not playmate of the year or anything but apparently I'm pretty enough for his friends to hit on me, and other girls, and people I don't even know. My daughter's teacher even hit on me. I tell them all look I'm married and I am not intrested in any one but my husband. I have no desire for anyone ealse. I can be as bad or as good as I want in the bedroom with him. He makes me feel beutiful when we are together but I always find some telltale thing on the computer the next day that shows he was looking at porn. What gives?
2006-07-31 04:15:14 · 25 answers · asked by Foxfire 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You all have great points. The problem is, he looks at college girls, teen girls, live girls etc. I am into girls and guys but I am faithful to him. I don't watch porn cause it's fake!!!! It isn't a turn on when the people arn't turned on. I never had self istem issues until I was married. I have asked him to stop. I am not intrested in counsiling. I don't mind him looking at mags, as long as the girls are over 21. But all the time is a little crazy. I don't see why he needs varity. I do a lot to keep him from getting bored. We try diffrent positions, we dress up, we have sex in public places, we flirt openly, I dye my hair every month, because I want to but it does turn him on. We also look through mags and point out who is a turn on and so forth. I don't see why he should want to look at other wemon nacked all the time. Guys should just deal with the fact that once you are married you made a commetmet that one women. thats what you choose and that is what you get!!!!
2006-07-31 05:57:47 · update #1
no good to look at porn.
netdog porn filter: http://www.netdogsoft.com
2006-07-31 23:06:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I hate it too, and could have written what you have about myself as well, except the role playing. I have self-esteem issues whenever I know he's watching porn, or looking at perfect looking naked women. I know that if I looked at guys with perfect bodies all naked and hanging, I'm sure that he would feel the same worry, that I wanted someone who was hotter than him in some way. It always sends a bad message. But, what can you do? It's everywhere, and even if he doesn't go looking for it, his dam friend emails some to him. And if it's not on the computer, it's on the friggen T.V. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
But, to answer your question, no they don't care, and won't stop.
2006-07-31 11:55:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask HIM why it's important for him to look at porn.
You need to let him know that it hurts your feelings. I don't personally enjoy porn, but I think I understand why some guys would.
I think that he likely is unaware that he's doing anything that should hurt you. I don't think that he does it because he's unsatisfied with you or your appearance, or your sex life. I think he just enjoys it.
Men are very visual. Women are usually less turned on by visual stimulation, and are usually more emotionally driven. I don't think that his enjoyment of porn means that he is not loyal to you. I think you are taking it personally, and to him it's no different than a guy who would rather go golfing or watch football.
You need to just have a discussion with him because you need to understand it. Don't be judgemental, be inquisitive.
Now, if he were obsessed then other areas of his life would suffer and that would be an important issue that you'd have to address. If he were turning you down, or neglecting your kids, or skipping work so tha he could instead, look at porn, that would be unhealthy.
Just go talk to him, and let him explain it to you, but know that it's not about you not being pretty enough, or sexy enough.
2006-07-31 11:32:10 · answer #3 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is one of the issues I have with my current husband. Except I've had enough and i'm leaving him. I don't mind some porn but he looks at a lot of it especially the ones with TEENS and i think for a man to have teen-step daughters and loving teen porn is sick!!! My exes never looked at porn in the intensity as my current. They can take it or leave it like i can. But this guy is sick withit to me and on top of that he is LOUSY in bed for the past 4 years i have been finding creative ways to avoid sex with him. like having 2 periods in a month, or making my periods last 2 whole weeks or my favorite claiming my period is coming but not at full flow and the flow can come anyday and that is usually 1 1/2 week later. lol. My point is the sex is comatose he can't move his waist and he has ONE MOTION and walways want to do it and looks at porn so much you would think he learned something but he did not. So the porn that he looks at on the net is satisfying the women on the net financially and nothing else.
2006-07-31 11:30:49 · answer #4 · answered by bubbles32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your relationship is overall pretty good, i don't think you have anything to worry about. My husband looks, too, and even goes to strip clubs. It doesn't bother me a bit. Sometimes I even go with him to the clubs or check out the flicks with him. It can add excitement if you want it to. My husband loves the fact that I even pick out women for him to look at...Driving down the street, I may say "Hey look, Babe, she is SEXY!" I am not what you would call playmate of the year either. I have put on a little weight over the last few years, but he still know's where his bread is buttered, and I know who he comes home to.
2006-07-31 11:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by mjboog2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men like variety, and while he may have no intention of cheating, he may just like to look at someone different. That's all. No big deal. As long as he still treats you with respect in every other way, isn't leaving stuff laying around where anyone, especially the kids, can see it and isn't hitting on other women, let him have his fun. He's not comparing those women to you; he, like a lot of men, just likes variety. Worry about the "real" women out there not some chick on a computer screen.
2006-07-31 11:28:36 · answer #6 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you feel bad that it makes the other person feel like he or she is just not enough?
.....good self-esteem can keep you from being jealous, defensive, hurt, etc. with others behavior PLUS good self-esteem empowers you to speak up when someone offends you.
Why does he want to look at other girls?
......because us males like and enjoy looking at and fantasizing about girl stuff - it's nature! has nothing to do with you personally!
I'm not playmate of the year or anything but apparently I'm pretty enough for his friends to hit on me,
.......apparently you don't truly believe it or you'd be secure and happy to be with someone who still likes girls - including you. if he ever stops looking at porn - watch out - he'll also stop looking at you!
He makes me feel beautiful when we are together but I always find some telltale thing on the computer the next day that shows he was looking at porn. What gives?
.....you should make you feel beautiful thru self-esteem training. be happy that he still enjoys porn (unless it's excessive and neurotic) because that means he will still be interested in you too. if it's offensive to you, say so - but from healthy self-esteem and not childish jealousy.
what gives? is that you need to work on your own self-worth to better cope with what others do.
go here:
http://www.barbaradeangelis.com/advice.asp
2006-07-31 12:04:55 · answer #7 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because your husband looks at porn doesn't mean he thinks anything less of you. He probley likes the visual stimulation it gives him, not saying that you don't.
It is natural, he isn't the only one who does it, and in stead of complaining, try and share it with him. It could be a great turn on, you may even learn a few new things to share with him. Maybe there are other positions and things he would like to try, but is afraid to ask you.
Watching a movie or looking at a mag with him just might open him up to discussing his fantasies with you. So many ladies get mad, I share my husbands interest in looking at a mag when we are in bed, he tells me he likes that position, or that outfit, and we read the stories together, which is very stimulating to both of us.
So, even if it makes you a little jealous......share.......you know he is not going to stop.....so join in......you'll be surprised how happy it makes him. And in the long run........the visual stimulation means great sex for both of you.
All I am asking, is surprise him one night, grab one of his mags and when you go to bed, pull it out and say hey babe, let's look at this, who is your fave, why is she your fave...ect. It opens up a time for him to be open with you and you will be surprised at what he says......
2006-07-31 11:26:14 · answer #8 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel so bad for you. It isn't you....he is sick. I knew a girl, she was absolutely beautiful....and married to a goodlookin guy. She found he had been on the webcam sending pictures of his dick to other women. I do know she never left him. It's hard to just pack up and leave, especially if you have kids. I would tell him how much it hurts and ask him to stop,,, if he doesn't, ask him if he wouldn't mind going to counseling with you because it is eating you up and destroying your marriage. If he says he'll quit but won't go to counseling..I would still give it one more chance. If I should find it again after that, regardless of the pain or financial cost, if you can in anyway make it on your own...LEAVE!!!
2006-07-31 11:26:12 · answer #9 · answered by dogsrulecatsqtime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about it! If your both happy and have a great sex life, what seems to be the problem. Does it really bother you. I like watching and looking at porn too but you don't here my man complaining. It only strengthens your relationship. Let him look all he wants, just so he doesn't touch. This isn't neccesarily a bad thing. Women do it too.
2006-07-31 11:19:50 · answer #10 · answered by cutesquaw69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably feels inadequate and like a disappointment to you, and with porn, he doesn't have to feel that performance anxiety. He can fantasize that he is the ultimate man, and that they want him. Try to understand him, and find out why he feels so inadequate with you. It could be an addiction. Let him know that you will no longer put up with it, and that he should choose, and hopefully he chooses you over some poor girl who has no marketable skills other than to pretend to like it for an income.
2006-07-31 11:23:22 · answer #11 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋