I'm married, love my husband as a person.. no plans to leave him. But, I've met a man online from another country.. we truly love each other. There hasnt been and wont be any "cybering".. we agree about that. He fills my heart with joy.. he asks nothing of me.. loves me as I am. Am I cheating if we never meet?
2006-07-31 03:33:33 · 46 answers · asked by greengirl2202000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You obviously feel guilty over it because you know that it is, you are just looking for someone to justify continuing your affair. Most women cheat over the emotional and men over the physical. Barriers are crossed when you give that much of yourself to someone other than your spouse.
2006-07-31 03:43:54 · answer #1 · answered by Ryan 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This would be considered cheating. First, your having an online "affair" without your hubby knowing. Second, your putting a lot of emotion to someone you've never meet. You are really hurting yourself, the online guy, and most important the man you married, even if he doesn't know.
If it was the other way around, would you be pissed at your husband? Wouldn't you want to know why he was doing it, and didn't come to you and try to work things out? You have a husband you can share your emotions with, give your time and love too.
Do you really think if you and the online "boyfriend" ever meet that he wouldn't ask anything of you? Don't you think that while his away from his computer that he isn't out there having sex with other women, telling them things that fill there heart with joys then comes online and makes you feel the same way. That man has a life and is living it in another country.
You should but more effort into the relationship that you swore under God,(for better or worse), with the man married that sleeps in your bed everynight. He deserves better. My adivce to you (take it or leave it) is that you should end this online affair NOW and go give your man some mind blowing love making, and make him a meal afterwards and tell him how much you love him and how happy you are for everything he's done for you, and that no matter what his the apple of your eye.
Don't give up on this marriage. Try new things, anything to keep the marriage alive to where you won't feel tempted to do this again or worse, be tempted to actually act out on your feelings. There are hardly any honest loving marriages out there. Please keep marriage alive.
2006-07-31 03:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the man that you have met is just felling in voids that maybe your husband as yet to fill or has abandoned.
Sometimes its nice to talk to someone else who listens to your every word and tell you how beautiful you are and let you know if they were with you what they would do for you.
I suggest rekindling the fire with your husband so he can fill your heart with joy like when you first married him.
Put all your energy into your marriage and you cant go wrong. Try new things and explain to your husband in detail what makes you feel good and what makes you happy.
Remember the grass is not always green on the other side. I hope you stay encouraged and try to keep the relationship with your out of country friend a relationship of just friends.
Are you cheating? What if your husband was doing the same thing how would you feel? Only you know the answer.
2006-07-31 04:44:11 · answer #3 · answered by KEA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are cheating. You have emotionally abandoned him and in the process you have devalued yourself. You are physically with your husband...good. But you are not really with him. Some guy in another country has your heart and you let this happen. How would you feel if he found a woman that he could be emotionally intimate with.
Yes you are cheating every time you have sex with your husband you will probably think of your e-lover...etc.
You need to get counseling...for both you and your husband. You have to find the reason you abandoned him and mitigate those reasons.
The danger in your emotional cheat is the complete destruction of your marriage. You're not clinging to him as a wife should...you nothing more, at this time, than a roommate with the occaisional sexual benefit. You will soon view existance and him as a joke. It will be impossible to live in the lie you have created.
Your rationale for you actions is that you have never done or will act on this affair becasue of geography. YOu consider this to be a safe situation. All you have done is stick to the "letter of the law" basically what a schister lawyer would have done to get his guilty client off the hook for a crime he DID commit.
Reach down into your heart and pull the last shread of ethics you hopefully still have and get the help you really need. Live your life with honor and everything else will fall into place.
Good luck
2006-07-31 04:12:18 · answer #4 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this relationship is a secret from your husband, if you don't want him to read the e-mails, or listen to any phone calls---I am sorry but it's cheating. You say you love your husband as a person, but does that mean- a friend. Why not spend the time you are using with this other man on your husband? Are you in the "marriage rut" and are looking for some excitement? Do you have a basis for a marriage any longer? I am asking alot of questions, and I am sorry, but I am the victim of "I never would met her" affair. It hurts! Because he was sharing things with her that he should have been sharing with me,. When I married I expect the whole package, bumps, blemishs, happy, joys whatever...He was giving her all my sweet talk, my jokes, my concerns...in other words...he was giving his time and his emotions to her. They are mine! So, it does hurt the marriage, because he didn't have any left over for me. So, whether you realize it or not you are hurting your husband. I wonder when the last time you talked to him like this other man...I bet it's been awhile. So, you need to make some decisions, is this worth your marriage....if not break contact, if you find you can't or don't want to give the long distance affair, then come clean with your husband..so he can find someone who wants to fill his heart with joy....God bless us all.........
2006-07-31 04:35:10 · answer #5 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So many people will say that you are cheating but that's not it at all. Cheating is a physical thing, like kissing or sex for example. Since he's in a completely different country, you won't be doing any physical cheating. You love your husband and the heart-filling stranger, but I'm pretty sure there's some difference between the two loves now isn't there? I wish the best of luck to you :)
2006-07-31 03:41:41 · answer #6 · answered by ghilga 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES. YOU ARE CHEATING 2 PEOPLE, YOURSELF, AND THE MAN ONLINE!
It doesn't need any cybering , if he fills your heart with joy, asks nothing of you, and loves you as you are, and you feel the same, then u'r in love with this man. You are cheating him with your husband, and cheating yourself with telling it u'r doing the right thing, where deep inside, u feel the opposite! We live once, a chane never comes twice. I know nothing about ur husband, and ur "not leaving" plans!!. But what I know for certain, is that u live with some one comes in the 2nd place for your heart, and living all ur life wodering what would happen if u had a true chance with the man online!
2006-07-31 03:47:10 · answer #7 · answered by Reham 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I'm no expert but i don't think that's cheating maybe u are missing something at home and this person is giving it to u on line but if u truly love your husband than why don't u talk to him tell him whats on your mind cause their is something missing and the reason i say this is because when two people are in love the is no one or nothing that can come between the two please don't get me wrong I'm not saying u don't love your husband but theres something that is missing when u get a chance sit down and think about all the things u like about this person and then do the same about your husband i bet u will find the answer but no u are not cheating its cheating if and only if u act on it good luck
2006-07-31 04:03:22 · answer #8 · answered by candy C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way yes you are having an emotional affair.This man on the net makes you feel special and you are sharing feelings with him that you arent with your husband.And your husband knows nothing of this other man.You say you have no intentions of leaving your hubby then why did you even start talking to this other man.And you are leading this other man on whats the point of this relationship anyway?You should be getting the emotional support your getting from this other man from your husband and if your not then you and your husband needs councelling and i would break off this emotional relationship with the other man.This will not help your marriage if anything it will make it worse.You should be working on your marriage.If you want friends then thats what they need to be only.But if you are doing this over the net how long is it going to be before you start having an affair with someone in the flesh.I wish you the best of luck
2006-07-31 03:41:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, cheating is more than sexual. Cheating is emotional. The moment you let someone else into that special place of your heart you are cheating. You said you love your husband as a person, but do you love him as a lover? If not, you need to choose to love him that way again. I would suggest a marriage counselor to find what your marriage is lacking that you are finding in this "other" man. Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book is currently helping my relationship. I got it for cheap on amazon. I am a big believer in this book. :)
2006-07-31 03:40:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your cheating heart will tell on you. Maybe this cyber friend meets some need you have That your husband doesn't? Perhaps you just like the attention form another man. It seems harmless as long as you don't go too far. But you have to ask yourself would you do more if you had the opportunity?
2006-07-31 03:37:48 · answer #11 · answered by jeff7241 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋