ok i really need some help, my life has become a mess within a few days...?

Question

since i was 14 (now 19) me and my mum have never got on, i love her to bits but we argue all the time. Last week we had another argument and i went to stay at my bf's for a few days like she asked. I then met with my Dad after work on friday and they have asked me to find alternative accomodation bc it doesn't work me living at home. I went and packed my stuff and at the mo am crashing with my bf who lives at home still, but know this can't go on for much longer. i have hardly any money, no idea where i am going career wise, and only moved to Jersey CI couple of years ago and dont have many friends like i do in my hometown, plus most are at uni. I also have the opportunity to go to uni in sep, but had decided it wasn't 4 me and am now tempted to go just so i have a roof over my head!

i feel really low and depressed and can't stop crying, i just dont know what i am going to do. I feel so lonely coz no one will properly talk to me.I dont think my bf realises how bad it is..any ideas?

I just want to add that im not bumming around, i have a full time job as a secretary, but here in Jersey im looking at £800 a month to rent a flat!

uni is university

Answer 1

WOW - if you are 'stuck' in Jersey City - I 'hear' you - totally....
The last place I lived in Jersey is just where you are. . . the armpit of the Eastern Coast ---
Anyway ---
You are soooo correct - you are in a messed up situation, and need some 'ears' to hear, and experienced 'voices' to speak --- while you vent, and listen. . .
Can't offer you any immediate help on this one - except to let you know that I, for one, understand your plight - and know that you shall find your way - hopefully sooner than later. . .
Trust in your inner voice, and know that depression is a passing reality that accompanies confusion. There is lite at the end of every tunnel - it shall reveal itself to you, in time.
Best wishes to you in your learning process, and growth. All is and shall be, as it needs to be in your life space.

Answer 2

Well I can definitely understand why you feel the way you do. Honestly I think the best thing to do is to go to college. Yes you will have a roof over your but you will also be earning a degree. I can tell going to school is not something you want to do right now but school is something you should do when you are young. Go to school and get your education. At school you can get some type of part time job and save your money. If you don't like school after a year you can use the money you have saved to get an apartment and by that time you should be able to get a job that will cover your bills.

Answer 3

IT IS POSSIBLE TO SOLVE ALL OF YOUR ISSUES...

If you have no idea where you are going "career-wise", as you put it, and you need to discover who you are and what you want from life, why not take advantage of the university opportunity in September?
Do it; not simply because you need a roof over your head, but also because it will open up a whole new world to you. You will make new friendships, be on the pathway to a fulfilling career, and make all sorts of discoveries about yourself.
Also, while you are away at college take advantage of the university's free counseling services to work out your relationship with mom.

Answer 4

I would go to school, even if you don't know what you want to do at least, like you said, you will have a roof over your head. Plus you will make a bunch of friends at school too. I would go into the university that you would be going to and ask them what kind of classes to take when you don't have a major in mind, they can set you up so you wouldn't be wasting your time, who knows, maybe if you give it a try you will find out that it is for you. I wish you all the luck in the world, hopefully there is a happy ending to a bad situation. Best wishes.

Answer 5

Most parents that I know, would want you to learn a lesson from this. Your not old enough, or responsible enough to live on your own, so your best bet, is to do the most reasonable thing, and realize your in the wrong from your parents aspects.

Whatever the argument was about, it probably was something that you couldnt change, for the fact your living in your parents house. You live under thier roof, and thier rules. So if I was you, I would just suck it up, and apologize to your parents, and tell them that you realized that your not ready to be on your own and you'll try to cool it down. Next time you and your mom argue see if she will compromise with you, meet you half way.

Most parents...would take thier kids back as long as you keep a good attitude and respect them and thier rules. Good Luck :o)

Answer 6

The problem is that you are a teen female. You go through a lot of hormone problems and you were/are probably very self-centered. Problem is you've given so much grief to your parents and you have nowhere to go. This is basically what happens when a teen really thinks they know what's best.

I hate to sound harsh but you need a harsh talking to.

You cannot rely on your bf and his parents to provide shelter and he doesn't need that at his age.

I say since you wanted to be so grown I think you need to finish growing up and show some humility. You didn't know what's best. You didn't consider all of your future. Talk to your parents and try to give them unconditional understanding for the bed you've made. I doubt they will toss you our on your bum like you probably deserve.

Answer 7

OK...I assure you this is a blessing in disguise...Believe me I went through the same thing with my mom. However I was not crying, lonely or depressed.

This is an exciting time...go get your own place, make it your own...invite the bf over...it is great to be on your own...this is a growing experience. YOU WILL BE FINE...Have faith and believe in yourself...You are just freaking out cuz you are not grounded...Your every effort for now should be towards grounding yourself and being independent of your parents...You will find over time that your relationship with your parents will be better than you remember.

Answer 8

whoa its a toughy. All i can say is though I have friend who was kicked out of home at the same age as you are now she now has the most amazing life ive ever encountered and she is also one of the most amazing people I have ever enocuntered. Maybe its scary but thats always waht happens when you take of on an amazing adventure. lucky you. Thed world is your oyster you can do anything you want you can live in bali or join the army and best of all you dont have to worry about how it will effect anyone else. They might not have planned to but your parents have just given you complete freedom with your life thats amazing dont waste it though use it. So many people would begrudge what you have right now. most of us spend a good part of our lives trying to make our parents happy you dont need to worry you just have to make yourself happy good for you.

Answer 9

You can't have your cake and eat it too. IF you wish to live at home and take advantage of your parents home,food,etc. You have to live by their rules. Getting pissed off and crashing with your b/f is a babyish thing to do. Go back to them,apologize,and start to save some money for yourself. Until. you have enough to pay your own way, you are dependent on their good wishes. This is what growing up is about. You get to make the decisions when you are paying the bills.

Answer 10

Sounds like going to school will at least give you a place to stay and an opportunity to better yourself for the real world. Doesn't sound like you have any other option. Otherwise you need to get job/jobs to support yourself and provide a home, clothing, and shelter.