We got married young. i was 18 and I am 23 now. We have three kids. I go to school full time he works full time and comes home and takes care of the house and kids so I can study. I understand we need more alone time. but i don't even feel the love anymore. How do i get it back?
2006-07-31 02:52:29 · 13 answers · asked by flowersandhearts 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm guessing your kids are all under age 5 or 6. In my parenting experience, that's really the hardest age, from zero to 6. So you have that x3. Kids get so much easier after first or second grade. If you can be patient, you will get a part of your life back. That's when you can re-dedicate to your man. Just lower your expectations during this period.
2006-07-31 03:02:29 · answer #1 · answered by NextDoorNeighbor 2 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I think you and your hubby need to make more time for each other. I read that as spouses turned into parents, often the responsibilites of taking care of the children means lesser time for each other. Falling in love is just an intial period when people were swept off their feet. However, I read all couples experience this after a number of years. So love then is no longer having that kind of feeling again but rather is love needed to be worked. It takes a conscious effort in working to love your spouse.
2006-07-31 10:02:04 · answer #2 · answered by ycwong 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take a long hard look at what you have that's good, what's OK and what's bad ... then work on the OK and bad - together! - and maybe get someone to look after the kids for at least a weekend so you can get away and enjoy each other's company.
Both sides must make an effort ... if it's just you then there isn't much hope for your relationship. What does your husband think? Is he happy enough to do what he does for you? Talk to him!
2006-07-31 09:57:44 · answer #3 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you won't, That's just the way things are. Relationships have a beginning and an ending. That's the way of life. I was almost in an identical situation. I was19, we got engaged and our relationship ended when I was 22. It's actually very very common that relationships that start before you are twenty end up after couple of years. It's perfectly normal.
Remember that divorce is always much better for the children than loveless marriage. Listen to your heart. Don't waste your life in a marriage when you don't love your husband.
2006-07-31 09:59:45 · answer #4 · answered by BonAqua Identity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to remember what made you attracted to eachother in the beginning. Remember that the"in love" feeling isn't going to last forever. However, you can choose to love someone forever. I would suggest reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is a great book that is helping my relationship. I got it at www.amazon.com for pretty cheap. I promise it will help!
Also, marriage counseling will be great for you two! There is nothing to be embarassed about going to a counseler. Ever healthy relationships can be enriched by this.
If you do these two things, your chances of making your marriage last will be MUCH higher. (I can't remeber the % but I took marriage counseling and it was amazing how much more likely marriages where to work with counseling).
The best of luck to you both!
2006-07-31 10:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well that happens in a lot of in marriages n is not that hard 2 change. the romance is gone due 2 stress n having a hectic life. try finding a baby sitter who will keep the kids one night a week. u two just spend time 2gether. try writing him little naughty notes. be romantic n see if u can get him 2 follow along it usually does not take much.
u can also try couceling,talking,communicating.
rearrange ur schedule a bit 2 give the 2 of u time 2gether.good luck
2006-07-31 09:56:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you dont know what u have till its gone! So I would strt noticeing all he does in the household cause for one thing another guy isnt going to like your kids.And you would have a hard time finding a guy with you having 3 kids.So its easy when you dont have options you will see your husband as very important and yes get out with him get a sitter.Have good sex and get out of this whinning .You dont have many options till those kids are raised and gone!
2006-07-31 10:00:30 · answer #7 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I asked a similar question a couple weeks ago, here is the link to it:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtpxCwPqpUI3ITUTuq8Exibsy6IX?qid=20060716071502AAHsoYM
Unfortunately my husband asked me for a divorce before I had a chance to do anything about it. But there were some great suggestions, if my husband would have told me how he felt (or didn't feel) while there was still time to do something about it! One thing to suggest, in light of that, is talk to your husband about how you feel (or don't) and that you want to work on putting that spark back in the relationship.
2006-07-31 09:57:52 · answer #8 · answered by NotMySecret 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand u girls, that guy is doing a lot, and even though he is doind all that for u , u don't feel loved... what the hell is wrong with u girls...???? i think he is trying his best to show that he is really concerned with ur studies and u should be really grateful to him, the question u should ask is how do we make up time for each other instaead of " how do i feel the love again"... bull ****. My god... grow up....
2006-07-31 09:57:42 · answer #9 · answered by vince 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some time together. Ask for others to help you with kids and take a vacation together. If you don't take time to remember the things you fell in love with you will lose it
2006-07-31 09:55:06 · answer #10 · answered by ** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋