We argue alot and we both seem to have a point to get across. We have been together over 3 years and none of our arguments have been resolved. My question is why do we stay with one another when we are tired of arguing? I have tried to leave 3 times in this relationship and he had convinced me to stay and deep down I really didn't want to leave either. Then there are times when he wants ME to leave and he changes his mind! Why are we doing this to eachother?
2006-07-31 02:38:56 · 20 answers · asked by moon_girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think it's OK to argue. @ least you reslove your differences and move on, I and my b/f do it a lot and you discover you understand him a bit better and you are always prepared for what's coming, argueing a lot is a good sign and it show maturity, my mum always says" don't ever swallow what's trying to eat you up in a relationship, spill it, argue it and if need be fight over and about it and @ the end resolve it".
That way, you sleep better and move on, but if you don't argue and get it resolved it will eat you up like a canker worm and believe me you both love each other and deserve each other, don't spoil what you have!
2006-07-31 02:52:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have an non-communicative relationship. If you truly did love each other you would both be able to get your point across without it getting to the point that someone wants to leave the relationship. Since you seem hellbent on staying together, I would suggest relationship counseling. It really can help immensely. However, if you are just staying together because something better hasn't come along yet, then you should just cut the strings right now and get on with your life. Life is too short to always be angry and upset. Seriously...there are more things out there. Good luck.
2006-07-31 02:44:11 · answer #2 · answered by Wannabeadoc06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up with him. Arguing all the time is NO way to have a successful relationship. Either you have to change or he does, and if neither of you is going to, you gotta get rid of this relationship. My first boyfriend and I were exactly the same way. We would argue all the time, and when we broke up, I didn't really want to, and it hurt a lot, but my new relationship is SO much better! No arguing! Once you find a new guy, you'll realize what a real relationship is supposed to be like.
2006-07-31 02:43:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because your both lazy...it takes effort and understanding to resolve your issues, you not only don't do either to resolve what issues you have but you don't want to look elsewhere either to find a less stressful relationship...its going to emotionally drain you to continue such a dysfunctional lifestyle you'll not know what a healthy relationship is even when you leave or get kicked out of the relationship...it hasn't worked this long ...why not do the right thing and get out and work on yourself.
2006-07-31 02:45:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both obviously have insecurity issues if you're both unhappy, and can't resolve these "issues" for the past three years. Get out if you're not happy, you only get one chance at this thing called life, so live for the moment and enjoy it while you still can...
Who wants to spend their time arguing when you could be having a good time?
Good luck in life and love...
2006-07-31 02:44:49 · answer #5 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sure theres no love left between you both its just that u guys have got habituated to each other n hv got so used to having each other around tht if u dont see each other u cant imagine things!!
and about arguments,they are basically difference of opinion which exist in all relationships!!
the best thing for you guys would be to get together and talk about it,try and be away from each other for sometime say a couple of months and see how u feel,whether you miss each other?things will be clearer after doing so and you'll will know what exactly do u guys want from each other and life?
good luck!!
2006-07-31 02:56:06 · answer #6 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to Glady's Knights song "Never One of Us" see lyrics below:
It's sad to think we're not gonna be here
And it's gotten to the point
Where we just can't fake it
For some ungodly reason
We just won't let it be
I guess neither one of us
Neither one of us wants to be the first to say good-bye
I keep wondering
Wondering
What I'm gonna do without you
And I guess you must be wondering the same thing too
So we go on
Go on together
Living a lie
Because I guess neither one of us
Neither one of us wants to be the first to say good-bye
Everytime I find the nerve
Everytime I find the nerve to say I'm leaving
Memories
Those old memories get in my way
Lord knows it's only me
Only know it's me
That I'm missing you
When it comes to saying good-bye
That a simple word that I just cannot say
There can be no way
There can be no way
This can have a happy ending
No, no
So we just go on
Hurting and pretending
Convincing ourselves to give it just one more try
Because I guess neither one of us
Neither one of us wants to be the first to say
Neither one of us wants to be the first to say
Neither one of us wants to be the first to say
Farewell my love
Goodbye
At some point you have to realize there is more then living in h***. I know how hard it is because I've been there too, but believe me, once you close the doors for good, you will feel such much better in time. You will play the tug of war game because you have a fear of the unknown as far as what's the next one will be like. You are used to one another. You know what they like and dislike...Don't keep staying in a loveless relationship because you are both blocking your blessings.
2006-07-31 02:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I wonder about the same thing with my EX. Trust me he's bad for you. There is love out there without all the bickering. I would get so frustrated with him. And I tried everything to change things but nothing worked. This went on for 12 yrs. I finally woke up and moved on! Now I"m with a wonderful guy that treats me like i should be treated with appreciation.
2006-07-31 02:46:44 · answer #8 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Routine and stability is something humans crave, even if they try to convince themselves otherwise. Your subconcious wants to leave the relationship but your fear is stopping you. If you continue you will both turn into bitter people. Everyone in a relationship will argue but the key is the resolution and whether it feels right to stay, I don't feel that you believe you should, do you?......
2006-07-31 02:48:52 · answer #9 · answered by argydora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its looks like u both love each other but u both are 2 argoant? 1 of the main things baout havin a reationship is findin a compramise... so yes soemtime ur have 2 do sank udon't wnt 2 and so will he.. as at the end of teh dayit sounds liek ulove this guy so mayb u have 2 start makin some scarfies butso should he as it takes 2..
2006-07-31 02:41:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋