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I just retired from the Air Force. In the service we had to keep our weight in check and I am continuing to do that. I will never be a model for any gym, but I am no where near obese. My wife however has really put on some weight to the point her stomach "droops". I have two concerns, one Diabeties runs in her family and second she is really starting to look unappealing (don't tell me I am shallow. She wasn't "thin" when we got married, she's 5'5" and she weighed about 150). Now she is about 230.

2006-07-31 02:23:03 · 11 answers · asked by red95cougar 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

11 answers

She won't be offended if you guys work out together. Just tell her that you should both go for a walk, or eat healthier, or go to the gym once a week. But NEVER single her out...you'd be digging your grave there.

2006-07-31 02:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Put all the need for a new diet and exercise routine on you. Tell her you feel out of shape and lazy since retiring, and you really need her to be your diet and exercise buddy. By the way, 5'5" and 150 is actually a perfectly healthy weight, according to what her Body Mass Index would have been. She may not have been thin, but she was also certainly NOT fat. By the way, I noticed that you didn't tell us your height and weight, "Slim". Men have a tendency to think they aren't overweight until they are about 50 lbs. above their ideal weight, so pardon me if I'm skeptical. That's not my opinion, either. That 's a statistic that is found repeatedly when they survey men and women. Women say they are "fat" starting when they are five lbs BELOW a healthy weight--men need to be 50lbs.+ before they will describe themselves that way.

She can lose every bit of that extra weight by doing some aerobic exercise daily, lifting weights, and eating a balanced, healthy diet. It may take her a year or more, but she'll feel and look better much sooner than that.
Join a gym together, make time for a thirty minute walk every day with her--start with a couple of shorter walks if she finds 30 minutes too much at first.
Help with the grocery shopping, and make sure that only healthy, low fat, low sugar things go into that cart! Tell her you are worried about her health, and want to have her around forever, so that's why you both need to do this. Do not make her feel bad about herself. It will make her eat MORE, not less.

2006-07-31 04:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0 0

Same here, except I'm the female with a large male. I've tried telling him politely, did the exercise with me routine, tried cooking healthier for him, talked to him about his health and his Mom passing away in her 50's weighing 300+and how worried I was about him doing the same...yep I did everything all the others have recommended, which is good advice don't get me wrong it's just it DID NOT WORK!

All I can say is he said I put on weight too, true! We rode the bikes twice, walked a few times, swim occasionally. He mows the yard, works and does things around the house and he says that's enough work-out for him. He eats what I fix him but eats whatever else he wants, cupcakes, ice cream, pop & chips. We do the shopping together and when I look at him for putting things in the buggy or say "do you really need that" he gets mad. Our relationship is not based on anger and even though I love him unconditionally having him upset with me because I am trying to dictate to him about his health just doesn't sit right with me. Call me a coward but if he dies tomorrow from being overweight or a heart attack at least I'll know he died happy in his own way, I love him that much, in the mean time I'll still suggest a few more healthy habits in his life, maybe one will peak his interest. Good luck!

2006-07-31 03:48:01 · answer #3 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0 0

wow, okay 230lbs and she's only 5'5 is kinda obese because she's short and she's not getting any taller so she's just getting wider..

telling her she's fat will only make the situation worse and make her feel bad about her self.. Women always need their self-esteem so don't ruin that..

as women we know when we r to heavy because then we have to go out and buy new clothes to fit because we don't feel sexy anymore..

A suggestion that might work might be telling her that ur gonna get a membership to the gym to get in shape and ask her would she like to join u.. in the morning, afternoon or evenings go for long brisk walks in the park-but u tell her it's beautiful out lets go for a long walk in the park.. excercise in the home and ask her does she want to join u..

Motivation is what people need sometime.. Weight is a touchy subject, but her health shouldn't be.. so why not ask her what r some of the signs and symptoms of diabetes, and ask her how can she avoid becoming diabetic cause guess what, being overweight can definitely trigger it..

she'll bring it up herself and then all u have to do is listen..

2006-07-31 02:34:36 · answer #4 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0 0

Weight is a very touchy subject for women, so be careful.
Why dont you suggest that you two exercise together. You can also suggest better eating habits for the both of you. Just dont tell her anything that you arent willing to do with her.

If she is not open to either one of these things, you be the model.
You exercise and eat healthier and eventually she will come around. I am sure that she thinks about her weight and knows her family history. She might just need some love and support in this area.

Be gentle and respectful.

2006-07-31 02:32:28 · answer #5 · answered by chipmunk 4 · 0 0

Make it a couples thing.Ask her to go work out with you,or go for a walk,suggest some new recipes that youve"heard about"that are healthy.Go to th gym together,take up a sport you both like,go hiking,bike riding,there are many things you can do to spend quality time together and shed pounds without making her shed tears.Good luck God bless:O)

2006-07-31 02:41:31 · answer #6 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0 0

tell her you both should go on a healthy diet and excercise program explain to her that as you've aged you've both gained a little weight and because of that you are concerned about health issues too, the key word is both and be gentle with the words and softspoken with the voice it will make her listen and take in the importance of the matter.
good luck

2006-07-31 02:39:17 · answer #7 · answered by Nanci 3 · 0 0

maybe just purchase a gym membership for the both of you!!! become her exercise partner ,diet with her if she sees you as being by her side she will focus on losing the pounds and she will appreciate you in the end that instead of you criticizing her you took it on to help her and be with her in her time of need and trust me your love will grow even stronger! I really want to applaud you and give you your props because these days instead of husbands working with their wife,they up and leave and think that's the solution to the problem!!!!

2006-07-31 02:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by cocoa 3 · 0 0

It most likely would be easier for you to shoot yourself in the head than tell her she is fat. Ask her if she would go on a program with you , this way you are shareing her problem. This will show that you love her and care about her health and not her looks. I bet that she will appreciate this best, don't you?

2006-07-31 02:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

She knows that she is fat and it's gonna hurt her however you bring it up. Prepare for a rough battle, but if she could join Weight Watchers, that could provide her the healing, awareness and tools that she needs to start and keep loosing through goal setting and portion control.

2006-07-31 02:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0 0

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