How do I tell my wife she is fat and I am losing interest in making love to her?

Answer 1

I am having the same problem with my husband, the getting fat part. I actually pulled out some pre-weight pictures and told him how hot he looked. He got the picture and is working on it. Whatever you do, don't tell her that you are losing interest-she'll never get over that. You are meant to love her for better or worse. Also, I found that my husbands Dr. played a good role. I scheduled my husband for a routine physical and the Dr. explained the need to drop a few pounds for health reasons. Tell her you want to live to be 90 and that heart disease is the #1 killer of women. You could even call the Office and explain your concerns about the weight and make sure they know to focus on this topic in a professional manner. Nothing like passing the buck on sensitive subjects!

Answer 2

So your telling me that your love towards her is based on physical appearance?? What were to happen if in an accident she was to go paralysed? Fat is a physica imperfection.How is she with you when it comes to her love and loyalty? I don't think you would rather have a size 4 wife who is constantly looking behind her shoulder to look at other men right? However if it is bothering you that much I suggest the following...I'm hoping your intent is not to hurt her feelings so why don't you tell her that you need to start working out and you tell her that it owuld make you very happy if she would join a gym with you so you can spend some time together. Then the both of you can go toegether and she can get back in shape. Make health and exercise suddenly your priority.

Answer 3

First and foremost you would use some tact. You wouldn't say it the way you asked here. Are you in shape? Do you frequent the gym? If so suggest that she goes with you, if not, get a membership for the both of you and start going together. Start walking 30 minutes after dinner with her. You'd be surprised how much weight you'd lose by just walking. If the family is eating a bunch of fattening stuff, stop buying it and start shopping with her and suggest healthier food. Be part of the solution and not the problem.

Answer 4

You can't believe how many men I have known over the years that have said pretty much the same thing about their wives. It is a tough situation.

The pat answer is that we married the person, not the body. WE all loose our looks over time, and most of us get fatter as we get older. That just doesn't cut it if the appearance isn't appealing. I know that is “shallow” of us men, but we are visual!

You don't think she already knows she is getting heavier? I'm sure she does! She may have really bad feelings about it already, so be kind and remember her feelings! Put yourself in her shoes, and try to imagine what someone could say to you!

You might start with “we need to get more exercise”

Focus on those things that you both have in common, and remember the love you have shared.

Answer 5

Dude, you've got some shallow mind! How would you like it if she ask people on here that "my husband has a gut and I'm losing interest in having sex with him" If you're trying to figure out a way to tell her she's fat, then obviously you married her for the wrong reason in the first place, you only married her for her body. So what if she's gained a little weight, people gain weight as they age. obviously you don't love her for who she is, or you wouldn't be asking a question like this.

Answer 6

So first, don't assume that her weight gain is the product of overeating a lot and no excersise. My wife gained a considerable amount of weight (to the tune of 175 lbs) after we married. I used to think it was because of her diet or her lifestyle, but it turned out that she had an un-detected serious problem with her thyroid. Talk to her about getting checked out by a doctor.

Secondly, you can express your feelings to her without being brutally honest. Tell her exactly how you feel without being mean about it. I'm sure you both can work through this if you love one another.

Lastly, How's your own BMI looking? I'm not trying to turn the tables here, but there's no sense in calling the kettle black here. If you've gained some weight too, you might want to think about taking care of that before you mention hers to her.

Answer 7

You don't. Learn to do outside activities with her. Ever stop to think that her weight gain could be caused by you or someother problem? If a few pounds turned you off then maybe you were never really in it at all. Its a marriage not a car you can't just trade up or down. Well you can but it will cost you more than you ever wanted to spend financially and mentally.....and they always go back to the original model

Answer 8

Don't tell her shes fat she will have low self esteem. Just encourage her to join you in a jog or swim. Tell her you would like this time together and it will also help you both get fit while at it. Just say you have been feeling un fit yourself and not in mood for making love, so you feel getting out and doing some exercise you will get the urge back, but you would like her company. She may feel guilty and reality may set in. see your not hurting her feelings this way makes it look like your un fit not her and she will want to help.

Answer 9

talk with her dont tell her you find her unattractive and dont want sex.Tell her you are concerned about the weight issues medically there could be alot of problems. And that you would like to see her lose some weight for her own well being and offer to help her and work out with her or go on a diet with her.

Answer 10

If you love her and just not atracted to her encourage her to loose weight with you tell her you want to eat healthier and ask her to do so with you. If you have kids say cause you want to be around for them as long as you can (u know what I mean), If not say you just want to live a long healthy life and you want her to be with you on the journey, theres ways around it without coming out and saying it, but you to have to stick with the plan,If you don't love her anymore don't hurt her by saying she's to fat just get out for you. Sounds to me like you have alot to think about before saying something very hard subject with a woman. good luck