We talk, laugh, joke about, ask opinions and discuss things like we are old friends.
We had a good marriage in the beginning and separated on mutual grounds due to too many differences of opinion and what we wanted (personally i think we just fell out of love), but now its like there never was a problem, i have thought about reconcilliation but then i remember why we separated in the first place.
Confused I am - love and life are weird at the best of times.
2006-07-31 01:33:27 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sometimes people make better friends than spouses. You can now have a relationship with her with no pressure for committment, which is why you're getting along. Now, when you have a difference of opinion, you both get up and go home and there's no need to carry it further. It's a different ballgame when you're stuck living together.
What you feel is normal and natural. It doesn't mean you need to be back together......even that's a normal thought to have.
Consider yourself lucky that you two wound up like you did......most of us end up enemies and regret it. Alot of us wish we could stay friends with our ex. Yes, love is wierd. But you have the right idea.......don't forget what broke you two up........it hasn't changed.
2006-07-31 01:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 19:05:29 · answer #2 · answered by Grover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is because you become lovers before you became friends. A mistake too many couples make. They get involved too quickly with each other, but do not take the time to get to know each other first. That is why all the pressure and arguments start. Now, you both have had time to think about the mistakes you have made in the past, and have a more mature way of approaching things now. Now that the pressure of a realationship is off, you have time to breathe and enjoy each other's company. What ever the future brings, at least you will have a good friend.
2006-07-31 05:13:15 · answer #3 · answered by Elana N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for most people , That little piece of paper called a marriage licence causes all the problems.. Because for some reason when it is signed .. one or the other of the partners thinks they own the other and that they should do as they say think as they think..then they quit talking about things because only one thinks that they should be right and the other has no opion of worth to bring to a conversation or discussion..
You are happy now because you let her have her opions and you are willing to listen ..with out the piece of paper you have nothing to lose any more.. you are already divorced so what else can happen..
You didn't just fall out of love , you stopped listening . you stopped trusting in the person that you loved to begin with..
You have to be able to talk to each other and to be able to listen to each other for anything to work out and now you are doing that again like you had in the beginning when you met..
so live be happy and leave out the paper work.. Every one will know you are a couple you don't have to have a marriage licience to show anyone.. just be happy..
2006-07-31 01:45:30 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello I too have an x husband as the best friend I ever had. Its actually about how you grew together. We met at 16 and by 23 and 2 kids later we divorced as we could not stop fighting. We too grew apart. 14 years later and we are still the best of friends. We chat about all sorts of issues and we laugh at stuff we did when we was younger. Not many people can say that about their x partners. I stll love him i always will as you will ur x wife but ur relationship has changed to the better now so why change in enjoy it. Its far better to have an x partner as ur best friend than anyone else as noone knows each other better. Hope this helps.
2006-07-31 02:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by angie t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very complex situation...I've often found myself in the same position you're in right now...not with marriage and stuff but with ex-girlfriends...In my opinion it's easier to talk to her and do all those things that you guys do, because at this point you both don't feel like you're every move is being analysed and categorized as either good or bad...what I'm trying to say is that in a relationship as you may well know, each partner tries to please the other one and restricts his actions so that nothing could be missinterpreted.At this point, since you're no longer together, especially married you can both be each other, which automatically means less stress and more quality time...still...make sure you self-analyze your actual feelings for her...be sure of what you feel, in order to prevent a future unpleasant situation...
Still, enjoy your time with her, be yourself and everything should be just fine.
A tip for you: Try having this conversation(ask the same q as in here) with her...you'll like the result...
Lots of luck to you!
2006-07-31 01:48:26 · answer #6 · answered by Vik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds so much like my story. I was married for 12 years and have two sons. We mutually agreed to divorce for the same reasons as yours. Now after being divorced for 5 years we get along well and he calls me "just to talk" although we both have significant others. This is a wonderful feeling because I know that it is best for my sons, but I never even consider a reconciliation. Just because we can get along now doesn't mean we were meant to be married. That, as I think you know, takes a whole lot more than what you two are sharing now.
2006-07-31 01:51:02 · answer #7 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are not living with one another anymore. There is space between you and you both have your own lives now. Many people out there in the world would love to have what you have. It is normal to feel this way and you are right. You separated for reasons and you don't want to go through that again. Just enjoy what it is that you have with your ex. Sometimes we are just meant to be friends. Wishing you well.
2006-07-31 01:42:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all boils down to selfishness,when two are together,there is more of misplaced understandng,no objectivity,in analysing,but when two are seperated,and nothing goes from ones own pocket,it is different story. Who have exposed themselves to each other, knowing intimate details of soma(body) and psyche(mind}, suddenly turn against each other,and again find betterness, than ever before, is it hallucinations,no it is not It is to do with intolerance, that is what marriaga is all about, the"vedic" LITERATURES SAY "VIVAAHA" MARRIAGE IN ITSELF IS TO KNOW EACH OTHER AND TOLERATE, NOT THAT ONE KNOWS THEN GETS MARRIED. It takes life times to know a person, so it is recommended to get married and try to understand each other,and feel what one has and what one does not have to complement each others' shortcoming,etc. not that we do what we like and call it .Differences in itself is marriage, o;therwise why a male has some parts different from the female? Please think it over....
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2006-07-31 02:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by prem d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
exactly.
you arent together anymore.
The stress is gone, you're not in love, you're not trying ot please one another or second guessing anymore, you dont have to answer to her, nor her you...
you['re better off as friends, congratulate yourself, very few can make it that far...my second ex, forget it..i will NEVER be his friend, manipulative two faced lying swine, never had anything in common...never will. big mistake
i have a similar relationship with my first ex husband. we've been apart 12/13 years but if we were shoved into living together and playing house again??/ UGHHH NO THANK YOU!!
The only feelings i have for him are those of a mate, i dont love him in any way at all.
he's the father of 2 of my kids and thats it...
dont try and reconcile, it will be worse than before ...trust
2006-07-31 01:39:46 · answer #10 · answered by littlestarr02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋