My boyfriend wants to solve the "distance problem" in our cross-atlantic relationship by marriage. I don't want to get married. Can we have a future?
2006-07-31 00:26:18 · 16 answers · asked by katrina_ponti 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thus far, we have found no feasible solution to the distance problem, and I have begun to doubt our future together. He has brought up marriage in the past as a possible way for us to be in the same country, but that is not ideal for me. I am going to visit him this weekend, and we are going to discuss all of these issues. In my opinion the only way I can be happy in this relationship is if we agree to keep it open. Otherwise I will continue to be very lonely and unhappy. Is it possible for us to maintain some sort of relationship while keeping our options open?
2006-07-31 00:27:57 · update #1
I think in your heart you've already answered this question for yourself, and you're looking for validation of that decision from others, which is fine. I've found in matters of the heart to generally go with your first inclinations because they are the most true, and really what you want to do. It's the pain that is going to come from this decision that is making you balk somewhat. Sometimes we have to do what's best for ourselves even when a certain measure of pain is involved. Life is never easy, but generally as one door closes another door opens, and often we find ourselves stronger and happier after a particularly tough romantic decision, it may just take a little while.
2006-08-01 03:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Open relationships can't work in the long term. Why hang on? If he's worth it, then marriage is an option. If he's sort of worth it, then keep it up long distance if it makes you happy, and reassess the situation later. Otherwise, break it off.
He would be dumb to lose you though.
2006-07-31 07:31:53 · answer #2 · answered by corpuscollossus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not as a married couple and if your boyfriend wants to solve the distance problem is he ready to relocate ? Wanting to solve a problem with solutions that require the other person to make the sacrafices solves nothing. That's hardly relevant however if you don't want to get married it may be time to cut your losses.
2006-08-01 01:39:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Again, I am against and do not believe in long distant relationships. I view them as being too emotional too much work. So natually I have to say this relationship can not work. No, I have never done a long distant relationship because its hard enough to maintain a relationship when there is no long distance between you.
2006-07-31 07:35:29 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question. You are not ready for marrage. You also sound like you are ready to end this relationship and move on. Maybe its time to be honest with yourself. Are you holding on to the relationship because you hate the idea of having no one? Are you waiting for a better oppertunity? We all do it, get in a relationship and find it hard to get out.
2006-07-31 07:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Twinkerbell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would gently let him know that you've had a great run, but your done now and it's time to end this. He wants a commitment that you can't return right now. It's not fair to either of you to continue like this. Good luck!
2006-07-31 07:32:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the best way to solve this, is to be in the same country...
Failing that, just break it off and move on...
2006-07-31 07:35:08 · answer #7 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt very much if you will have a future..
Give it up .. Different societies Different cultures, Different customs..
It is not worth the fights that will happen..
Quit while you are ahead.
Don't go.
2006-07-31 07:33:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should break it off with him. Sounds like he wants to get married and you are not ready for it.
2006-07-31 07:30:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not ready dont do it and if your not totally sure about it or have second thoughts or just dont feel comfortable then dont do it , you wont be happy.... wait till you are truely ready then marry. if he dont want to stay with you as things are then he aint worth it anyway, he should wait till your ready too
2006-07-31 07:32:43 · answer #10 · answered by t_ibrahim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋