I am planning on leaving my extremely verbally and emotionally(physical in the past) abusive husband (together for 12 years). I need to know from a child's point of view what it is like to encourage me even further to get the hell out of here.
2006-07-30 22:41:20 · 9 answers · asked by Veronique 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my parents had 3 kids each of us took it differently. one turned to drugs, one turned inward and the other turned to alcohol. When I married I married 2 men that were exactly like my father abusive and an alcholic. Make sure your kids know that this is not the way life should be and that you are making it better for them. It can be done. Please keep in touch. Good luck
2006-07-30 23:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by kelsey 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I did and it was horrible. Only until I was about 12 years old. Later on in life I traveled the world by myself at the age of 21. Only to return back into an abusive relationship that I had left. The boyfriend tried to strangle me, called me all kinds of names. I also developed a promiscuous problem at the age of 19. I slept with over 20 men in 3 years. I binge drank all the time, maybe 3 or 4 times a week. All the while I went to a good college full time and worked two jobs. My life was a mess and I hid it so well. I often wondered why I would deal with all of this when I was strong enough to travel the world on my own. My mom found out about the boyfriend (the bruses on my arm in the shape of hands). She forced me to go to counseling and I figured out there that it was all from my childhood. I ended up meeting a wonderful man at the age of 24 but the month that I got married I had to fight for a protection order from the old boyfriend. He aparently did not like the fact that I was getting married and started to stalk me. Not a good time.
2006-07-30 22:54:41 · answer #2 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes if you have tried all there is to do about it and still no change then you should find your way out, as a child I grew up in a very abusive household my uncle that i lived with was an alcoholic and a very mean person luckily i don't suffer from the abuse but as a child I felt as if I could do nothing right and it had a affect on my learning and socializing and also in my early adult years I found myself repeating the same abuse on my own family until I realized it and got it under control
2006-07-30 23:01:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is it damages a child more to grow up in that situation then having divorced parents. My sister has eneded a 12 year abusive rel and has a 5 and 7 year old you wouldn't recognise these children since she left him. They are much happier and settled. But get children involved counselling my nephew thought it was ok to hit everyone cause he saw his dad do it counselling helped him find ways to vent that anger in non violent ways. Good luck.
2006-07-30 22:50:29 · answer #4 · answered by leah_ambrose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard of Iyanla Vanzant? Get her book "Yesterday I Cried". She went from welfare to lawyer to world renouned speaker telling her story. She said the final straw was when he picked up the metal bed frame to hit her as she lay on the floor. He said he would kill her if she left, she realized he'd kill her if she stayed.
Emotional abuse is sometimes worst than physical abuse. Bruises heal in a few days, you spirit and self-esteem take much longer. Think of your duty to your children. Good luck and God bless.
2006-07-30 23:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by TIRED 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, both physically and verbally from my father. It has given me anger issues, I have no patience and I am way too rough with my son and too quick to slap or spank him. Not that he doesn't deserve it sometimes but I yell at him more than he needs and it hurts me to do this. It is almost uncontrollable and I hate myself at times for the way that I treat him. Thank Dad.
2006-07-30 22:49:23 · answer #6 · answered by Amy >'.'< 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew it was time to leave my ex when i had this happen:
hubby started fight, slapping and such and from out of nowhere (keep in mind my son was supposed to be asleep and it was 3 am) come from out of nowhere screaming to the top of his lungs and flung himself at his daddy and started bitting and hitting him and screaming he was going to kill his daddy.
It has flat destroyed me and my two children. They still have nightmares about it. and it's been over 8 years. They dont deserve to see it, and you dont deserve to have it happen, don't just plan on leaving.........do it as soon as possible. God bless you and i will pray that things go well for you.
2006-07-30 22:53:38 · answer #7 · answered by Tracey E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeap, As an young teen I developed an eating disorder (believe it is about control, not weight) and at 5'8" my lowest weight was only 82 lbs. As an older teen and as an adult I had abandonment issues, anger issues, problems with being in abusive relationships and self sabotaging healthy relationships. Please, please, please get out of this relationship as quick as possible. Talk to your children and tell them this has nothing to do with them, nothing is their fault. Also seek out therapy for them, whether it's through a church, school, private doctor...just get them and yourself help so they don't have to go through what I did.
2006-07-31 05:28:53 · answer #8 · answered by Kati 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have children they will grow up and hate you for staying or worse my friends son is in prison right now for shooting his dad because of the abuse his mother took and says it was worth it his moms nightmare is over now but what good is it nothing but a mess.
2006-07-30 23:02:10 · answer #9 · answered by nicole l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋