As u know already my wife is in iraq and engaed in e mail conversations with another service member. We are all in the army and the other guy is married with kids. I found the e mails. She lid about talking to him on the phone. She lied about the text messages and she never said anything about the e mails. I told her about it and we talked and she said ahe never had sex with him. She said she was human and she was sorry. She said that she does not no how to act and she does not no how to love me. she said she loves me but she does not really no how to do it right. She said I am the best thing that happened to her. She said the e mails was just flirts. Some of those e maisl really hurt me bad. I am on my way to iraq and I have to deal with this before I go. I am crazy in love with my wife and would do anyhting for her.i asked her for all of her e mail address and passwords and she said she cant give me 100 percent acess to her stuff. What should I do. I love her so damn much I am hurt
2006-07-30 22:38:56 · 25 answers · asked by kinghillery 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to determine if you love her enough to try and work this out when you both can see one another. Right now you are hurt, yes, but you are going to Iraq and your concern must be performance of your duty and keeping yourself safe.
Your wife sounds immature and also as if she is not ready for a committed relationship. Trust is a very difficult thing to recapture once it is lost. She has damaged the trust you had in her and she has hurt you. I think you will both need the help of a good counselor to work this out. It doesn't sound like you can do this on your own.
Good luck with your marriage and please stay safe!
2006-07-30 23:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by nquizzitiv 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Now I can see if your wife was just having a cool male friend to talk to. But this seems like she is really hiding something and not happy. You need to really talk to her and ask her why she feels she must hide things from you. Why she can't confide in you the things she's telling this other man and so one. I hope the two of you can work this out on your own. If not marriage counseling may bein order. Try at least that before I suggest you move on and find a women that will show you the same love back. Of course after you officially leave your wife.
2006-07-30 22:44:56 · answer #2 · answered by Simmy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I feel bad for you, but if the flirting is only in emails, not face to face or on the phone, then it is a little different. The main thing is the honesty and respect issues. You are her husband and deserve these. So I would tell her that you demand honesty and respect and if she is not willing to give you that then dump her. Sounds harsh but to love your spouse, who when confronted with a take it or leave it, leaves it, is not worthy of a lifelong committed relationship. Sadly ,it indicates a cheating heart.
I want to thank you, as an American citizen for going off to Iraq. We are all indebted to you. Be safe and focus on the good in yourself and others. The drama and stress your wife is causing is frivolous and detrimental to your peace of mind. Only you can control your thoughts and be determined to hold higher standards.
Good Luck!
2006-07-30 22:52:19 · answer #3 · answered by LJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear Bro.....Bottom line is she is cheating on you, at best just mentally and worst case physically and emotionally. Your wagon is gonna be loaded enough being in Iraq without the distractions of worrying about her cheating butt! Distractions like that are a good you to get you and your buddies messed up or dead. I know you love her, but you will love again! Cut her loose! If you are meant to be together then she'll be there when you get back.....if not, then it just wasn't destined to happen. Good luck and God Bless You Brother! Stay Safe!
2006-07-30 22:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by old dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She cannot go on cheating on you, if you love her and she supposedly loves you and you're the best things, then she shouldn't cheat on you. Tell her that it's ok not to know how to love you, but she knows DAMN WELL that you're not supposed to cheat!
Then say to her that you need full access to the e-mails or you'll file for divorce (it will only be a threat so don't worry about it), because you don't want her to have these people's contacts!
If that was me, I'd be long gone and file for divorce, stupid cow! Show her what you've wrote on here about here and when you do, tell her to look at mine because she is a stupid, silly, little girl, with excuses! Cheating on someone who you've vowed to love and cherish forever is hoffiric! I'm sorry mate but you married a whore!
2006-07-30 22:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by susanradford18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are on this drawback. But, I kinda get wherein your spouse is coming from. It appears like you are being a bit of little bit of a wimp. My tackle that is that ladies love it while a person "takes manipulate." (inside bounds, of path) Don't ask if you'll hug. Man up. Just do it. If you hug her and he or she rejects you, then that is whatever for the wedding counselor to determine. Sounds like there may be passive competitive conduct on each elements. It's the worst style, I believe, given that you cannot transfer ahead in existence if you are involved approximately protective your self. Try to not be so wrapped up in her response to you - maintain your recognition on your self. It's the one factor you'll manipulate. Good good fortune.
2016-08-28 15:16:10 · answer #6 · answered by chautin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THis type of things happened may be because you were too busy and not communicating with your wife enough.The loneliness could be dying and she met a netpal she could connect to psychologically.Nothing is over the mill she is still human and only human s make mistakes.You forgive her for her fallacy and improve your communication with her for you also have assess to net.Things will improve as days go by If you love you have to fgorgive and go on leading your life nothing horrible happens online believe me it is simply smalltalk big words you cant screw online.
2006-07-30 22:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by sumant b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a hard look at things...
What do you think would cause her to do this? Do you actually spend time together when you are both home?
I know too many guys that say they love their wives but would rather spend all their time playing video/computer games in their free time then spend time with their spouses. It can get pretty lonely to feel like you come second all the time.
2006-07-30 22:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm really sorry that this has happened to you. I think she lied because she's hiding something and you were just smart enough to bust her. I don't think I could believe her after the many lies already. It's hard to have a good relationship without trust....and you can't have trust when your spouse is a liar.
2006-07-30 22:42:08 · answer #9 · answered by littlerandiheather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being married there should be 150% honesty and NO SECRETS!! Can not have it both ways she either really loves and wants to be with you or free to come go and do what she likes! Which let me add a thank you for your military service
2006-07-31 03:29:00 · answer #10 · answered by betina_scutt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋