It's like he hates being at home with me so bad that he went to work on his night off, to volunteer his services (for free). He has also been talking to women that he considers friends, on the phone, when I'm not around. He claims he talks to his ex (she's over 1000 miles away and they dated 6 years ago) because she calls and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings! But when I tell him leave my house (he's lived here for 2 years) he refuses to leave. I am so angry about his secret communication with women, rejection, and refusal to answer questions that I have resorted to cutting and destroying his personal belongings (because I can't seem to hurt him emotionally). He does take care of all of my expenses but I'm willing to give all of that up, for piece of mind and sanity. I ask him to leave several times a day! Why would a man that doesn't want to talk to me or be around me, refuse to leave? Serious replies only. Thank you.
2006-07-30 19:27:49 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He might think that he's entitled to stay because he covers your expenses. Perhaps you should find a new place. If you let him know that you'll just stay there and put up with his behavior, he'll just keep on doing what he's been doing. Perhaps a move will wake him up.
2006-07-30 19:30:26 · answer #1 · answered by It's Just Chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are formally requesting him to leave your house, then I would imagine that you would have the law on your side, but you should check with any legal advice services in your locale. Destroying his property is probably not a good idea. You might also try talking to him and asking him why he refuses to leave; does he feel entitled to stay because he pays for everything?
As far as I see it you have two options: contact a lawyer, or next time he goes out changes the locks on your doors, pack all his stuff into boxes/suitcases or whatever and leave it in the front yard and don't let him back in. If he says he's still got stuff in your house, ask him to tell you what it is, where it is and then tell him he can pick it up from your front yard at such-and-such a time.
Be stronger and he might start to get the message.
2006-07-31 02:38:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What an ugly situation. You'll be so relieved when he is gone. I bet he's figured out he can stay and you won't do anything about it. It sounds like you are possibly questioning whether he refuses to leave b/c maybe he truly cares about you deep down...you need to decide that you are done with him. He clearly doesn't care about you in any way that counts. I agree with the previous person that said to take it to the next level as far as forcing him to go. I would get help with this though, in case things get ugly. Try to find people that will defend you but will avoid a physical confrontation if at all possible. Get those people to help you get his stuff out of the house and sit with you until you are sure he is gone for good. (For emotional support, too.)
I wish you luck...I was in a similar situation with a roommate and it was a terrible living situation.
2006-07-31 02:59:56 · answer #3 · answered by goatluvver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he isn't taking you seriously, you said yourself you ask him to leave several times a day but he doesn't and you don't do anything about so he doesn't even hear the words anymore. Change the locks, or better take his key when he's sleeping, pack his stuff and put it by the door (outside) next time he's gone. Now THAT'S a clue! Put a note on top that says I asked you nicely 1000 times, you ignored me so I did it for you....you don't live here anymore.
2006-07-31 02:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly your men is hopeless, he refuse to leave just because you still are the best option for him under the situation. You are his shleter now. When he find another shelter and 100% sure that You Have No More Value, then he will dump you out.
Wake up!!!Girls. Kick his @ss out if you really can give up your free expenses from him.
2006-07-31 02:36:01 · answer #5 · answered by Notorious Guy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is using you for other reasons besides just wanting to be with you. just because you love/like him you are mistaking your feelings towards him for how he feels about you. he will say anything to get what he wants out of this relationship just to pass off some more time. stand up and take control of the situation before he hurts you even more or you do something even more crazy! i am sure he is telling all his friends what a crazy "*****" you are and all about the crazy things you are doing just to make himself look and feel better. You are so much more and worth more and deserve more than what situation he has put you in, so get out while you have self respect and some dignity. if he really does love you then this will be a wake up call for him and he will prove his feelings for you with actions and words!
2006-07-31 03:09:54 · answer #6 · answered by Marcey H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u really care about him and he doing all of that then yeah maybe u should leave bc u talking about destroying personal belongings ..doing that might get his attention but its going to be in a way that u dont like.although he is paying all of your expenses he feels like he shouldnt have to answer to u..u stay out all night and see if he going to be blowing up ur phone..just find u somewhere else to stay bc that just isnt right..he shouldnt be secretly contacting women thats crazy..he will see what he had when u r gone....it might be hard at first but follow ur heart to get ur peace and sanity
2006-07-31 02:40:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
List all of his positive qualities (the things you love and appreciate abuot him) on one list and list all of his negative qualities (the things which upset you or bother you about him whether they are petty or not) on another list. Be open and honest with yourself about each quality whether it is poaitive or negative.
Once you have completed you lists, say each quality in the phrase: My ideal mate is a man who ___________.
Your positive list might look like this:
My ideal mate is a man who compliments my looks, cooking...
My ideal mate is a man who shows affection to me.
My ideal mate is a man who is proud to be with me.
My ideal mate is a man who is a good provider.
My ideal mate is a man who has a good job.
Your negative list might look like this:
My ideal mate is a man who does not respect me or my feelings.
My ideal mate is a man who does not openly communicate with me.
My ideal mate is a man who does not want to be in bed with me at night.
My ideal mate is a man who is verbally/emotionally/sexually/physically abusive.
My ideal mate is a man who is dishonest.
Once you have your lists completed, you will have to determine if the things you placed on you positive list outweigh your negative list. You will have to determine if any of the qualities on you negative list just sound too rediculous to be a quality you want in an ideal mate.
Once you do this, you will now if he is your ideal mate or not. If he is, talk with him and try to address the issues which upset you. If he is not, show him the door so you can improve your life and find your ideal mate. Just don't sell yourself short. Look for the your true ideal mate.
Good luck and all the best to you!
PS. Stop destroying his property. Not only is that illegal but he might destroy something meaningful to you or he might get physically violent. You will also regret your actions later. You need to find a more constructive outlet for your anger in those times.
2006-07-31 02:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by mgctouch 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is messing with you.and he want you to leave because that would be a good reason for him to break up with you.that why he doesn't talk to you volunteer for free he want you to leave when he not around that his own plan he is ******* with you big time
so you have a choice stay there and be miserable for the rest of your life or leave him but if you do decide to leave him fill the bath tub up with water pour a gallon of bleach in it throw all of his cloth in it and walk out lol i knew this girl that did this one time piss her old man off wow.
good luck
2006-07-31 03:19:44 · answer #9 · answered by little ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you stupid? He has a free place to live and eat and he gets to go out when he wants. To us that is called paradise or heaven on earth.
If you don't want to be with him, leave. You say it's your place, is it? Is it in your name? His name on it too or just yours? If just your name is on it, then kick his *** out and if he doesn't go, call the cops. ENd the relationship, get your life back on track.
Once he's gone and you have your life back, give me a call.
2006-07-31 02:35:09 · answer #10 · answered by guess who I am and win a prize 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋